Failed

[ClairyFairy]

I failed an attempt and now I'm being watched and made to do stuff I don't want to do because "it will be good for me" are you kidding me! This is worse than being in a prison what's going on now. It's only been a few days and I'm insane. The police took my sodium nitrate and im not allowed anywhere on my own but I'm not allowed to stay in either...wtaf

 

[wunschtraum]

oh dear :/
what went wrong?
existence in this way is horrible!
send you a hug!

 

[ClairyFairy]

I tried hanging myself off the door but I guess while I was unconscious I rolled about. When my mum came up I was covered in piss and sick. I thought once I was unconscious that was it? I don't think it is though. The police had come and took my sodium nitrate a good few hours before. I feel so trapped....People think they're helping but I feel desperate

 

[Frauw]

I tried hanging myself off the door but I guess while I was unconscious I rolled about. When my mum came up I was covered in piss and sick. I thought once I was unconscious that was it? I don't think it is though. The police had come and took my sodium nitrate a good few hours before. I feel so trapped....People think they're helping but I feel desperate

your body is still alive while unconscious, it takes a little for the body to completely shut down

 

[whywere]

I feel so sorry for you. I had the same experience after my 2nd attempt. Was locked up for 2 weeks then watched like a hawk for 6 months. It SUCKED!!! With that said my heart goes out to you so much. Please try and remeber that we are all here for you as you are part of our global family. Sending you love, hugs, empathy and a bright sunny day at the beach with a cold drink in hand. Walter

 

[wunschtraum]

I feel so sorry for you. I had the same experience after my 2nd attempt. Was locked up for 2 weeks then watched like a hawk for 6 months. It SUCKED!!! With that said my heart goes out to you so much. Please try and remeber that we are all here for you as you are part of our global family. Sending you love, hugs, empathy and a bright sunny day at the beach with a cold drink in hand. Walter

"Global family" sounds to good to be true :)
i lost everybody...

 

[ClairyFairy]

I feel like it'd be easier in hospital. It's making me so guilty that my mum's now my keeper

unconscious

I never knew thi part

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry to ther this.
Failing sucks!
The last time I did, I ended up as a "prisoner" in my parents' house for 6 months. It's like starting from zero.

 

[wunschtraum]

you can go to the psych hospital i think. or do you want to try to die again?

 

[whywere]

"Global family" sounds to good to be true :)
i lost everybody...

I am so sorry for your loss(s), but I am talking about all of us here on Sanctioned Suicide as one huge global family. I truly feel that you are part of my family here as in my personal life I have no one, no friends, no family, nobody period. So this IS my family, yes you are included.

 

[ClairyFairy]

you can go to the psych hospital i think. or do you want to try to die again?

I can't be imprisoned like that, I would succeed with my plan in there. Lucky for me they are stretched beyond belief and I had family who said they would keep me safe. I never knew it would be like this. There's a social worker ringing up every 5 minutes. My mum doesn't know I've got this phone, ha!

I'm so sorry to ther this.
Failing sucks!
The last time I did, I ended up as a "prisoner" in my parents' house for 6 months. It's like starting from zero.

I think this is now what is happening to me

 

[wunschtraum]

I can't be imprisoned like that, I would succeed with my plan in there.

you have a plan to ctb which would work i a psych ward?

 

[ClairyFairy]

you have a plan to ctb which would work i a psych ward?

I would inhale my bed sheet. It only takes will power. I nearly succeeded with it a few years ago but they were shadowing me on the ward.

 

[makingsure4]

I read somewhere that a patient died in a psych ward by inhaling toilet paper. That actually sounds kind of scary to me. I don't know why. I'm not suggesting it. It might be like choking on food.

 

[wunschtraum]

I would inhale my bed sheet. It only takes will power. I nearly succeeded with it a few years ago but they were shadowing me on the ward.

that sounds really scary. but thanks for the idea.
Do you have a plan for now? Do you Still want to go? inhale a bed sheet should be possible at home too but it isnt a painless method i think :S

 

[ClairyFairy]

that sounds really scary. but thanks for the idea.
Do you have a plan for now? Do you Still want to go? inhale a bed sheet should be possible at home too but it isnt a painless method i think :S

I'm not on my own enough and it's quite noisy

 

[KleinerWolf]

I tried hanging myself off the door but I guess while I was unconscious I rolled about. When my mum came up I was covered in piss and sick. I thought once I was unconscious that was it? I don't think it is though. The police had come and took my sodium nitrate a good few hours before. I feel so trapped....People think they're helping but I feel desperate

sorry to hear what you are going through ,

regarding police confiscating the sodium nitrate, was this before or after your attempt?

 

[Life_and_Death]

sorry to hear you are going through ,

regarding police confiscating the sodium nitrate, was this before or after your attempt?

NitrAte? It might be for the best that they took it unless they typed in the wrong word and meant nitrite.

 

[NodusTollens]

Sorry to hear about what your going through. Glad you have a way to reach out for support.

Wishing you the best.

 

[ClairyFairy]

No it isn't painless and I kept having flashbacks after it. I will try and hang myself again when I get the chance with a longer rope