Failed to CTB

[ignatius]

I tried to Ctb yesterday with the train method but SI got in the way. It was 3am in the morning and I was standing near a rail 3 miles away from the railway station. When the train arrived I couldn't jump and it sucks. I felt something I have never felt before like I wanted to see another day and there were only a meters between me and eternal peace.

Train method is the only method available to me and there's some things I would do differently next time to control the SI. I'd lie down on rail at night few minutes before the train arrives with a headset listening to music at full volume. This should help as I wouldn't know when the train will arrive and it will be instant.

 

[Authentic13]

I tried to Ctb yesterday with the train method but SI got in the way. It was 3am in the morning and I was standing near a rail 3 miles away from the railway station. When the train arrived I couldn't jump and it sucks. I felt something I have never felt before like I wanted to see another day and there were only a meters between me and eternal peace.

Train method is the only method available to me and there's some things I would do differently next time to control the SI. I'd lie down on rail at night few minutes before the train arrives with a headset listening to music at full volume. This should help as I wouldn't know when the train will arrive and it will be instant.

Chances are good that if you are on the tracks, no matter how loud the music, you will probably feel the vibrations from the oncoming train. I haven't tried yet, but one of the things I dread is a failed attempt.
Another thought I had is that if at the moment of truth, you felt like you wanted to see another day, then perhaps you aren't quite ready to go? Just a thought.

 

[Finalnight]

I tried to Ctb yesterday with the train method but SI got in the way. It was 3am in the morning and I was standing near a rail 3 miles away from the railway station. When the train arrived I couldn't jump and it sucks. I felt something I have never felt before like I wanted to see another day and there were only a meters between me and eternal peace.

Train method is the only method available to me and there's some things I would do differently next time to control the SI. I'd lie down on rail at night few minutes before the train arrives with a headset listening to music at full volume. This should help as I wouldn't know when the train will arrive and it will be instant.

It's just SI telling you that, that you want to live when you clearly don't want to anymore, there's nothing to be ashamed of, maybe sedatives would help you carry out with your plan next time, but as Authentic said, perhaps you're just not ready to do it.