Failed to CTB Trying again tomorrow night :(

[imdepressed999]

Hello everyone, I posted my Goodbye post a few hours ago as i took a pill that had Fent in it. Well, I'm still fucking here :( I will say i feel really good, but super itchy. the plan was not to get high it was to CTB. As i stated in my "Goodbye post" I only took 1 pill which i know is a 50/50 but wanted this to look more like an "Natural overdose." Well now it's definitely going to be a suicide because tonight i will be taking 9 at one time. These people taking 1 pill and dying are super lucky. Will keep you all updated. I feel so stupid, i cant even kill myself right, im such a fucking failure :( I am really sorry guys.

 

[sukuna]

no need to apologize u didnt do anything wrong

 

[imdepressed999]

no need to apologize u didnt do anything wrong

I know but i feel like such a fucking failure. Imagine be so fucked up u cant even kill yourself.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you failed. Don't be too hard to yourself. Are you sure CTB is what you really want? Wanting it to look like a "natural OD" is gambling that can lead to much more suffering if it doesn't work.

I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.

 

[breezeboy]

No need to feel sorry or beat yourself up about this. Like you said you knew it was only a 50/50 chance one would kill you and really it was way less than that. One is for fun.
The only time you die off one is when the batch isn't cut right. That's why pressed pills are so risky because each one is different.

Did you pass out from it and wake up a few hours later or were you awake the whole time in that warm sleepy high state? It seemed to effect you pretty quick

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I know but i feel like such a fucking failure. Imagine be so fucked up u cant even kill yourself.

You're not failure!

 

[imdepressed999]

No need to feel sorry or beat yourself up about this. Like you said you knew it was only a 50/50 chance one would kill you and really it was way less than that. One is for fun.
The only time you die off one is when the batch isn't cut right. That's why pressed pills are so risky because each one is different.

Did you pass out from it and wake up a few hours later or were you awake the whole time in that warm sleepy high state? It seemed to effect you pretty quick

When it first started kicking in, it felt sooooo good, Like all my worries were gone and it was relief i have not had in a long time. Now i still feel good but super itchy. I just woke up, i do not even remember falling alseep it happens so fast. I am not a drug user, this is only my second time taking these pressed pills. The first time i took 2 and OD but of course was saved.

I'm sorry you failed. Don't be too hard to yourself. Are you sure CTB is what you really want? Wanting it to look like a "natural OD" is gambling that can lead to much more suffering if it doesn't work.

I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.

I wanted it too look like an OD yes so its easier on my family. I feel like losing your kid to an "accidental overdose" is better to accept then suicide. CTB is what i been wanting for so long now, IT MUST HAPPEN

 

[rozeske]

Am sorry for the way it's making you feel. Don't be hard on yourself, it's not as easy and straight forward. Wanting for it to look like an accident is understandable and alot of us here wish for that but it also comes with risks of failures. I wish you luck in your plans and I hope you can find your peace

 

[imdepressed999]

Am sorry for the way it's making you feel. Don't be hard on yourself, it's not as easy and straight forward. Wanting for it to look like an accident is understandable and alot of us here wish for that but it also comes with risks of failures. I wish you luck in your plans and I hope you can find your peace

Thank you rozeske, much love

 

[breezeboy]

When it first started kicking in, it felt sooooo good, Like all my worries were gone and it was relief i have not had in a long time. Now i still feel good but super itchy. I just woke up, i do not even remember falling alseep it happens so fast. I am not a drug user, this is only my second time taking these pressed pills. The first time i took 2 and OD but of course was saved.

You have to remember pressed pills are made to get you high. Not kill you with one.
That whole "they took one pill and died" happens way less then people make it out to seem.

I pop fairly often but I don't take more than 2 30s at a time. I be goneeeee
I'm curious how the 9 will go for you with no tolerance.

 

[imdepressed999]

You have to remember pressed pills are made to get you high. Not kill you with one.
That whole "they took one pill and died" happens way less then people make it out to seem.

I pop fairly often but I don't take more than 2 30s at a time. I be goneeeee
I'm curious how the 9 will go for you with no tolerance.

hopefully i OD, The guy i got them from told me don't do more then 1 at a time. I told him my plan was to OD and he acted like he cared for my health lol he really just wants an addicted returning customer. My whole body went numb but it was not scary, i just accepted it

 

[breezeboy]

hopefully i OD, The guy i got them from told me don't do more then 1 at a time. I told him my plan was to OD and he acted like he cared for my health lol he really just wants an addicted returning customer. My whole body went numb but it was not scary, i just accepted it

For a juice wrld fan I'm a little surprised of your lack of knowledge on percs/pills.
I hope it works out for you

 

[imdepressed999]

For a juice wrld fan I'm a little surprised of your lack of knowledge on percs/pills.
I hope it works out for you

You dont have to be a junkie to love the music lol

 

[mortuarymary]

I know but i feel like such a fucking failure. Imagine be so fucked up u cant even kill yourself.

You are not a failure. The dose wasn't right for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

A suicide attempt going wrong is exactly what I fear, I wish it's more straightforward to die on our own terms. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for, best wishes.

 

[Mayonaise]

You are not a failure. The dose wasn't right for you.

I'm terribly sorry it didn't go well, @imdepressed999 , but I agree with other fellow members: it isn't your fault, you're not a failure. Probably the dose wasn't high enough.
Just try to be rational, please: if 1 pill had 50% chance of success, guess what happens when you take 2, 3 or more?
Looks like you have the means to end it all, if you've researched your method well enough you know what to do. You had the balls to do it once, it didn't work out, well, you can learn from your mistakes and try again. As a last resort, you have your gun ready. Just don't rush it. Try to calm down a little bit (easier said than done, I know).
And much respect for wanting to make it easier on your family. This proves you're not a failure but a kind human being. Hope this brings you some solace

 

[Adûnâi]

The first time doesn't count, as Twitch streamers say ^^