Story Failed OD

[TrapForYou]

For whatever's worth, I just wanted to rant a little about this, even if I get called stupid for once again trying one of the most useless methods.

I had a little bit of hope for this one, considering what everyone says about tca's being the only antidepressants you can actually overdose on with a fatal outcome. Not only that, but out of all the tca's, dosulepin was one of the most toxic ones. I was more worried and anxious about it being painful. The symptoms sound pretty ugly– seizures, arrhythmias, hypotension, that kinda stuff.

I didn't feel a thing. I took the pills right before going to sleep, but even then, I was expecting the pain to wake me up at some moment. That didn't happen. Instead, I wake up the next morning like nothing.

"Like nothing" is kind of an euphemism because I actually got a fucking stroke probably from whatever the pills caused in me. Before overdosing I had thought that if it didn't work, I would just try something else without anyone noticing, which wasn't possible. The stroke left me beyond confused and unable to talk or even walk, and I didn't even try to stop my brother from calling an ambulance.

I don't remember much, but if anything, the most "painful" part of the overdose were the doctors treating my condition. That hurt like hell. Other than that, I earned myself a few days at the hospital recovering from the stroke and another suicide attempt added to my medical history.

 

[maniac116]

First off, I'm sorry that your life has brought you to the point of wanting to leave.
Tricyclic antidepressants can take a person out. Maybe you're just resilient with those meds.
Drugs, overall are very undependable, with successes under 14%.
I would look through the megathreads to find other more accessible methods.
In the end I hope you are able to find a place of peace & love

 

[athiestjoe]

No one is going to call you stupid, we totally get the pain and suffering that could lead someone to trying methods even if we know Why ODs Fail Miserably. I hope you do not have any long-term effects from the OD attempt, those can be awful. With that said, though, TCAs in exceedingly high doses do have a potential for success, although I would not really rely on it for a few reasons. Tricyclic antidepressants do not induce tolerance meaning even if regularly taken there is no need to stop taking and go through a withdrawal period.

Dosulepin is a tricyclic antidepressant, an older class of antidepressants that carries a risk of potentially fatal overdose. Because of this risk, it has been restricted or banned in some areas due to concerns about its potential for misuse in suicidal situations.

From w o z z's Ways to a dignified self-determined death it also sounds like a pretty long, drawn out way to CTB:

Lethal dose
For all tricyclic antidepressants we recommend a dose of 6 g. For a long and deep sleep, the combination with benzodiazepine is necessary (see below). Tricyclic antidepressants slow down the digestive process and thus their own absorption. Death should normally occur 12 to 24 hours after ingestion of these deadly drugs. However, one should know that dying sometimes takes 24 to 48 hours.
In order for self-determined dying to succeed, it is essential that no life-saving measures are initiated in the first 48 hours.

Other literature though say 6g-7.5g.

Lethal dose

The lethal dose of all mentioned tricyclic antidepressants is given with a quantity between 6g and 7.5g.

In the book of the WOZZ - Foundation a dose of 6g is mentioned (cf. Admiraal, Chabot, Ogden, Loenen, van, Pennings: Wege zu einem humanen, selbstbestimmten Sterben, Amsterdam, 2008, p.91). Chabot gives a lethal dose of 7.5g (cf. Chabot: Dignified Dying.
A Guide. 2014, p.96). The dose of the long-acting benzodiazepine taken in combination should be at least 500mg (cf. Admiraal, Chabot, Ogden, Loenen, van, Pennings: Ways to a humane, self-determined dying, Amsterdam, 2008, p.92 and Chabot: Dignified Dying.
A Guide. 2014, p.96).

Then the PPH (specifically mentioning Amitriptyline) says 10g (when not part of a 5-drug cocktail, 8g in the 5-drug mix). PPH suggests not being found for 24 hours, which along with wozz's mention of 48 hours sure makes this method sound not very ideal, but again I can totally understand the desire to get out of this miserable world and looking for an available method.

But note, even in the current MAID protocol of DDMAPh, it calls for 8g of Amitriptyline (a TCA) on top of all the other medications so take with that as you will as to if a lower dose of a TCA alone would be sufficient: https://www.acamaid.org/pharmacologyinfoupdates/

That's a pretty range of so-called lethal doses. Individual facts like weight and health likely also play a role so it is not really a one-size fits all situation, leading to more ambiguity on a successful dosing.

If the Dosulepin was 25mg (not sure the dose you had) it would be 240 pills to get to 6g and 300 pills to get to 7.5g. Way more to get closer to that 10g. The protocols also all suggest varying amounts of long acting benzo, along with an AE like meto. With the varying data and sources of what the suggested dose along with the rather long time needed, it sounds pretty difficult to actually pull off and not being rescued. Even with the AE the risk of vomiting that many pills is also pretty high.

I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you are in and I hope you find whatever you are looking for and can get peace & serenity.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, I really wish it's not so difficult to be free from this existence, personally I find it cruel how trying to die can go wrong and lead to more suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.