So I just had a failed suicide attempt. I honestly was a few seconds away from stopping myself bc I didn't like the way it felt. I was hanging myself with a belt through the door and honestly I just remember feeling pain for a second that was worse then the pain before it and then out of nowhere I'm laying on the floor confused as fuck and the back of my head pounding. I must've opened the door with my weight. I honestly only remember about 5 seconds of it and then the back of my head had extreme pain after I woke up. I'm assuming I hit my head kinda hard. Idk how to feel. It's now comforting to know how quick it was but how can I prevent the door from opening again
I have always thought if I decide to suicide one day, I would either drown myself in a swimming pool or suffocate myself with a pillow -- just seems quick and not that painful?
Worndown
Visionary
- Mar 21, 2019
- 2,979
Belt over door?
Knot at other end of the belt?
If yes, set up so the door opens away from you. The knot and your weight will help pull door closed.
I’vehadenough
Elementalist
- Sep 15, 2018
- 847
Gonna try this. It's so weird how easy it was to pass out. Literally felt like 5 seconds max
Worndown
Visionary
- Mar 21, 2019
- 2,979
FTL.Wanderer
Enlightened
- May 31, 2018
- 1,782
This sounds very frightening. It's one of the main reasons I've been sitting on my hands so long. I can't deal with the prospect of pain--no matter how brief. And no one can guarantee (or near it) there won't be pain/discomfort in a method... But if there were clinics where professionals could do it... The few times I've been put under, it was so fast and complete that I never even recalled going under. Why the h*** can't we have something like that?
Thanks for sharing (reading your account was important to me). Best to you.
But that's the thing, I went to try it again and was scared of that pain so I didn't do it. Before I fully committed thinking I wouldn't feel much and by fully committing I passed out and if the door had not opened it would've been over. The only way I think I would be able to do it is if I fully commit again so I'm currently just thinking about it right now. It was so quick that I didn't expect it and honestly was thinking abt my family and woke up thinking about my family but confused and in a distorted way and it took me like 5 minutes to realize I was on the floor bc I was so deep in my thoughts already. I don't know how long it was before the door opened but the more I think about it I feel like it's longerI hope the best for you and I'm glad my words before helped. I'm sorry for whatever you are going through.
It might be possible with a lot of benzos? How hard is it to wake up a person that took 10 xanax bars?
FTL.Wanderer
Enlightened
- May 31, 2018
- 1,782
Do you mind me asking if you think it would be less difficult if you had no family and no other attachments? And thank you for the well-wishes.
Is it easy to get benzos? The benefit of a state facility to me is that it's legitimate so there are, hopefully, better standards. I'd really not rather have to deal with any of this--and that alone keeps me here. Maybe we're different kinds of suicidal people on this site--those who still have the energy to do more things and those who can barely get out of bed... I'll do some reading up on benzos, getting them. Thanks for the idea.
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I never understand the "belt over the door" thing, like how long is this belt lol
Kodama
Experienced
- Oct 11, 2019
- 209
I passed out in 5 sec when I tested with a belt... As I was pulling by myself the other side of the belt, I dropped to the ground and dislocated my shoulder. So easy and almost painless to CTB if you can manage a reliable anchorage !
FTL.Wanderer
Enlightened
- May 31, 2018
- 1,782
LegaliseIt!
Elementalist
- Nov 29, 2019
- 808
I agree! We need legal medical assistance in dying (MAID). I'm too depressed to become an activist.
