Discussion Failed attempts?

[MrBigSad]

I had a previous attempt that failed.

I understand now the reasons why it failed and won't make the same mistakes for when I ctb.

It was truly a horrible experience. I attempted drowning while overdosing on opiods. I just got rushed to hospital while throwing up everywhere.

I should have waited till midnight when there was no one to help but someone saw me.

Does anyone else have a previous attempt? Do you think you where close to succeeding? And are you happy it failed or do you think you'll just try again?

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry that you had to go through that.

i've only attempted twice - drinking rubbing alcohol in desperation. the first time, i felt nothing besides my throat burning. the second time, i got drunk and passed out, and woke up with a massive headache. the details are blurry, since it was a while back

 

[MrBigSad]

Sounds like you enjoy alcohol as much as me. Recently I think I overdid it to the point where now I really don't feel any emotion at all. I'm half way through a bottle of rum and wondering if I should just finish it.

 

[beforeyougo]

Tried to OD on some meds, failed (and new it had failed) so I tried cutting my wrist instead. Blood started shooting out all over the bathroom and I panic-dialled 911.
I'm glad to have the last month to be with what little family I have left, but I am still actively planning my bus route. If someone gave me a gun tomorrow, I would be gone within the hour.

 

[purplesmoothie]

I've tried heroin overdose which fucked me up really bad health wise after. I got close. And hanging which I didnt get close with

 

[Tesha]

I took a large paracetamol overdose at a beauty spot I loved as a child. I passed out, but forgot it was a national trust location (UK thing) and they went to lock the car park up and found me. Won't make that mistake again....

 

[elfgyoza]

Fentanyl OD barely did anything to me (seller definitely lied about the product..), never been so disappointed. Couldn't get hanging right either, then I was found before I had the chance to inject a load of heroin and I felt so empty I didn't even feel disappointed.

I'm sorry you went through that. I think most of us here have probably tried to ctb at least once before and found SS at some point after that. Wonder if there's any stats for this

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

I've attempted twice, the first time was when i was 13 I tried to hang myself i think it would of worked but I was a fat kid and the branch broke. The second time I was 18 and I tried to shoot myself but the gun jammed, I hated myself even more than I already did because I had planned everything out the best I could both times and I still fucked it up. Im still planning to ctb(hopefully it'll be this weekend).

 

[MrBigSad]

I've attempted twice, the first time was when i was 13 I tried to hang myself i think it would of worked but I was a fat kid and the branch broke. The second time I was 18 and I tried to shoot myself but the gun jammed, I hated myself even more than I already did because I had planned everything out the best I could both times and I still fucked it up. Im still planning to ctb(hopefully it'll be this weekend).

Where the fuck is the care react? But really. If you do want to ctb this weekend I will not stop you nor encourage. All I will say is I hope whatever you choose you will be happy. Safe travels

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

Where the fuck is the care react? But really. If you do want to ctb this weekend I will not stop you nor encourage. All I will say is I hope whatever you choose you will be happy. Safe travels

Thank you for the kind words friend

 

[vacant_n]

I had a failed attempt about ten years ago, with benzos and alcohol. I don't think I even cared if it worked; I was just desperate and needed something to change. Anyway, I woke up a few hours later and was rushed to the hospital, though my memory is extremely fuzzy up until a few days later. Honestly it wasn't even that bad - I was euphoric because the benzos didn't wear off for a good week, I got lucky and went to a decent treatment facility, and my life actually did get better afterwards. The only thing is, I decided if I ever tried again I was going to be sure whatever I did would kill me. That's why I won't be messing around with pills again.

 

[MrBigSad]

I had a failed attempt about ten years ago, with benzos and alcohol. I don't think I even cared if it worked; I was just desperate and needed something to change. Anyway, I woke up a few hours later and was rushed to the hospital, though my memory is extremely fuzzy up until a few days later. Honestly it wasn't even that bad - I was euphoric because the benzos didn't wear off for a good week, I got lucky and went to a decent treatment facility, and my life actually did get better afterwards. The only thing is, I decided if I ever tried again I was going to be sure whatever I did would kill me. That's why I won't be messing around with pills again.

I feel that. I wish I had went on this site sooner. Pills are definitely had mojo for when you ctb as it's just not enough. And it fucks with the body and brain royally even months afterward if it's not successful.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I had a previous attempt that failed.

I understand now the reasons why it failed and won't make the same mistakes for when I ctb.

It was truly a horrible experience. I attempted drowning while overdosing on opiods. I just got rushed to hospital while throwing up everywhere.

I should have waited till midnight when there was no one to help but someone saw me.

Does anyone else have a previous attempt? Do you think you where close to succeeding? And are you happy it failed or do you think you'll just try again?

I have attempted to hang myself on at two separate times. Once when I was younger in my teens and other a couple of years ago. I so wished I can overdose but I doubt. I'm going back and forth between hanging and jumping. With hanging I know I don't be disturbed and I have enough time to succeed but I don't know if I can make it work with rope and knots etc. With jumping off a bridge I'm scared I'll be spotted or that there'll be fence line and I won't be able to get across it without being seen I don't wanna draw any unnecessary attention.

 

[voidman]

Curious to see if there are any members still active here that failed with SN?

 

[ts0hill]

I had been suicidal before but a year ago I was very intent on it and I went to a gun store to buy a gun.. the guns guns were about $400 each and the guy wouldn't sell me one because it didn't look like I had much experience plus you needed to wait for a background check and stuff. So i left empty handed. If I had got the gun and my life stayed horrible for another week I likely wouldn't be here

 

[ts0hill]

I took a large paracetamol overdose at a beauty spot I loved as a child. I passed out, but forgot it was a national trust location (UK thing) and they went to lock the car park up and found me. Won't make that mistake again....

did they call 911?

 

[sadworld]

My first attempt was a few years ago when I was a child. I had no idea on how to actually ctb back then. I forgot most of it, I just remember that I got bullied really hard on that day and I went home and searched for meds in my house and threw everything that I could find inside myself hoping I would die. I don't remember what I took but I am pretty sure most if not all of it was some otc stuff. I fell asleep and woke up some hours later with really hard stomach pain... So yeah, that didn't work and it was just stupid. Other than that, I've tried jumping several times but either there was someone holding me back or I was too scared cause of SI. Hopefully I can go with SN soon.

 

[willitpass]

first was attempted partial hanging when i was 13, i leaned into it so i was essentially almost laying down but my head was about 2 feet away from the ground. my SI saved me as i would wake up standing up bc my body was doing whatever it could to keep me alive and relieve the pressure of my neck. i ended up in the psych ward with a killer headache but miraculously was otherwise fine even though i should have been brain damaged bc of how long i cut off blood flow

second attempt was this february, i went into the freezing cold river (attempted hypothermia) and over the dam (hoping the current would pull me under and drown me). neither worked and i once again ended up in the psych ward.

third attempt was going to be SN but i was stupid and told someone my intent and they told my dad who took my SN away and threw me back in the hospital. this time around no one will know what i have and what i plan to do

 

[Sensei]

I've made two attempts. Close one time, not even remotely close the other.

 

[Pho3nix]

I made an attempt in 2016. I took some pills, blacked out and woke up with a black eye and my apartment trashed. What a waste of time. I wish I could have had a painless injection years ago. I envy pets who get the needle when their lives become intolerable due to illness.

 

[Lawliet]

I've tried overdosing numerous times, all didn't work. I tried drowning but my SI kicked in. I tried suffocating myself with no luck. I tried to drown myself in a cooler with something heavy over my head but SI kicked in. Now I'm going to try partial hanging.
I've had four friends commit suicide. My girlfriend did it with a gun. One did it by slitting their wrists in a cold bathtub. One overdosed on heroin. The other was more complicated. They were terminally ill and someone literally pulled the plug for them. Wish I was so lucky.

 

[MrBigSad]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I've read each in depth. It sounds like we all really wish for death.

@Meditation guide can you elaborate on your attempts please?