Discussion Extreme Boredom & CTB?

[sadghost]

Does anybody cite extreme boredom as 1 reason they want to CTB? I find my life so painfully boring all the time, no matter what I'm doing. I don't find genuine joy in anything anymore. At the very best I am indifferent but I'm never really having a good time. The only time I don't feel bored is when I'm asleep, because I'm in an altered state of consciousness. I think my ADD is to blame at least in part. I was wondering if anybody else feels this way?

 

[Sinai Silence]

I don't find enjoyment in anything I used to anymore, I just do it because I have to or to escape the monotony of my life. Sleep is my favorite hobby too!

 

[Raminiki]

Gosh, yes... It's certainly a primary motivator for me. I suffer anhedonia and dissociation, so neither can I enjoy anything that should be pleasurable, nor do I even feel I'm experiencing it.

Due to autism, anxiety and other mental health conditions, I'm unable to successfully or meaningfully participate in society. I spend a lot of time isolating myself from as much of the world as possible, because I simply can't cope with or navigate it. My quality of life is poor and I'm impoverished in every sense of the word. I have no motivation to seek pleasure and no energy to do anything productive. I distract myself, and sometimes I haven't even the concentration to spare for inane entertainment media.

I'm so apathetic, mustering the effort to die is sometimes beyond me. I just begrudgingly exist.

 

[OneSoVile]

Oh my yes.

I really, really want to see what, if anything, is on the other side. If there is nothing, that's cool - I'll be dead and won't care lol.

But I suspect there is something and I want to know what! Life is dull and boring. People generally suck, and it's all so pointless, it is actually absurd!

So yeah, boredom + curiousity + depression and apathy.

Edit: I have ADD, as well. Interesting...

 

[Deleted member 19817]

I can empathise. I know where I'm going after I leave here. I'm filled with an ennui with regards to this place and a deep longing for where I'm going next.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Definitely. Everything seems boring, even things I used to enjoy. It's like all the fun has been sucked out of the world for me and I'm wading through broken glass. I don't want to do any of the positive things people suggest when everything feels the same.

 

[oasis]

I just feel like sleeping all the time so time would pass without me noticing. Things I used to enjoy are at best to pass time now.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Oh my yes.

I really, really want to see what, if anything, is on the other side. If there is nothing, that's cool - I'll be dead and won't care lol.

But I suspect there is something and I want to know what! Life is dull and boring. People generally suck, and it's all so pointless, it is actually absurd!

So yeah, boredom + curiousity + depression and apathy.

Edit: I have ADD, as well. Interesting...

Look up near-death experiences on YouTube. Dr Eben Alexander is a particularly convincing one. There is definitely something on the other side and it's more incredible and beautiful than our tiny minds can possibly imagine.

I'm not a religious person but I became convinced of an afterlife after binge-watching/listening to accounts of people who have died and come back. It turns out nothing about the "real world" is real anyway. It's just a manifestation of our consciousness.

 

[OneSoVile]

Look up near-death experiences on YouTube. Dr Eben Alexander is a particularly convincing one. There is definitely something on the other side and it's more incredible and beautiful than our tiny minds can possibly imagine.

Thanks, will do!
I am inclined to agree with you - my own research has definitely made me question my agnosticism. The book '20 Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation' by Dr. Ian Stevenson changed my whole outlook.

However, I still want to know and experience and 'see' what the afterlife holds with my own two..uh.. ghost eyes? (If there is anything at all - which I'm like...80% sure there is).

And yeah, I am also fairly certain this is all VR, or a spiritual vidya game, or something.

 

[Guld]

Not as extreme but i do find life in general quite boring, and its kind of all the same to me. Killing time is easier than killing myself as of now i guess.

 

[sadghost]

Wow reading through all of these responses has really made me feel less alone. I really empathize with you all and I'm genuinely so sorry that life has been so cruel to you

Oh my yes.

I really, really want to see what, if anything, is on the other side. If there is nothing, that's cool - I'll be dead and won't care lol.

But I suspect there is something and I want to know what! Life is dull and boring. People generally suck, and it's all so pointless, it is actually absurd!

So yeah, boredom + curiousity + depression and apathy.

Edit: I have ADD, as well. Interesting...

I feel you so hard. Also very interesting that we both have ADD!

Death is very interesting. I do believe that after death our consciousness and whatever "we" are cease to exist forever but I am very aware that I could be completely wrong. It would be pretty cool if our consciousness continued and there was some grand reward after we die to compensate for our suffering here.

 

[Seafoam]

Lol I've felt that too. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "dying of boredom". I'm very hopeful that the after life has something better to offer for all of us. Depression and mental illness makes it hard to enjoy even the most basic things :(

 

[sadghost]

Lol I've felt that too. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "dying of boredom". I'm very hopeful that the after life has something better to offer for all of us. Depression and mental illness makes it hard to enjoy even the most basic things :(

Lol too real! I really hope so! Indeed life is cruel and the suffering is seemingly endless when you're mentally ill.

 

[Passersby]

Hi Sadghost, Yes I can totally relate. Boredom can be added to the pile of reasons for me to ctb. At this point there is not much I can do about it but I do try to fight it. It's too complicated to explain but basically for me it's health related that creates the boredom. My body and mind don't work in sync. The anhedonia has been punching me in the face now for yrs too!

 

[mediocre]

I've been so bored of everything since I was child. I've done literally nothing since I was 12. I was just placed in a flat and have been stuck in here alone since I was 17. I can't function due to autism.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't know if I would have genuine fun if I was allowed to (I'm practically imprisoned). Probably not, because the obligation to keep their mood up all the time means I never even know what my mood is like.

 

[VoidGirl]

I used to be someone who could distract herself very easily. I was passionate about so much things and was always a generally spastic person. Not always happy but at least content a lot of the time.

Then about a year ago I had a psychotic event (appears to have been caused by drugs, I never had one before and I don't have any psychotic symptoms usually) and landed in the psych ward where I was put on injectable antipsychotics.

I'm not on them anymore, or any psych meds actually. I only took them for the 2 weeks I was in the psych ward and the following month.

Ever since then, I've been experiencing extreme anhedonia. Nothing is even a little fun or pleasurable, nothing is interesting, I feel like my soul has been taken from me. I am "neutral" to a point it hurts more than being sad. I've been living in a state of absolute and complete boredom for a year now and that is my main reason for wanting to CTB.

So yes extreme boredom can lead to suicidal thoughts.