Extended goodbye thread

[here_for_now]

ctb route is fent plus Xanax or jumping or slicing my neck. My budget is $15 I fucked a lot of things up in my life but i wish i could have a second chance. I realized today that will never be a possibility. My doctor cut me off my benzodiazepine prescription that gives me the only quality of life i have and he pretended to give me a referral for pain management knowing that the clinic was closed, i respected advocated for myself and he cold turkey off my meds, i will lower my tolerance then take all Xanax at once in combination with purchased fentanyl and do the thing I should've done years ago.

I'm a victim of cointelpro (USA government psychological toruture program designed to either make you kill yourself or do violent actions or be instultizlized) I've tried my very best to play ball and live a normal life but they wont stop until I'm dead.

If you live in America I highly suggest you leave, dont end up like me. I have untreated severe chronic pain and anxiety and I'm at risk of seizures (please dont say ER the clinic i went to was a federal controlled clinic and i have proof that i wont share since that's pointless.

If any Feds try to comment that I'm crazy or mentally ill thats ok, I've accepted that my life is over. I will make the time random to maximize my chances of death

Family is abuisve i have no resources and I'm isolated with no hope. Like a retarded person i coped myself into believing they would recruit me or pay me a lump sum, i was willing to sell my soul if they gave me some freedom and my life back. America is a racist bigoted survllience state, if you ask for proof i will provide but they might target you too.

If my mom swallowed me i would never had to deal with this but it's ok they want me to die anyways so we have the same goal. Just wish I could've had a normal life and worked in my dream career. Love you all this is my last post here if I'm still here ill lurk but i wont sign in.

 

[yotaka]

I'm so sorry things have gone this way for you, my friend. It blows my mind that so many Americans are either unaware of atrocities like COINTELPRO or else just don't care. What a sick country in a sick world.

Whatever lies ahead for you, I hope you find peace and relief.

 

[here_for_now]

I'm so sorry things have gone this way for you, my friend. It blows my mind that so many Americans are either unaware of atrocities like COINTELPRO or else just don't care. What a sick country in a sick world.

Whatever lies ahead for you, I hope you find peace and relief.

Thanks friend. I thought they wanted to work with my skills but i realized that if they wanted to recruit me they would've done it a long time ago, they've psychologically raped me for years and life just isnt't worth it anymore.
I'll miss my mom and brother tho but i tried living 2 years with federal approved psyclogical rape and its my breaking point

 

[EmptyBottle]

Sending hugs from Australia

Just remember that even after posting this, there's no obligation to CTB here (eg one can choose to postpone if one wants), even after posting a goodbye thread.