S1_ckJoe
New Member
- Nov 15, 2024
- 1
I'm new to this community! So I'd like to introduce myself by telling you what I consider the beginning of the end. (I apologize for my English, it's not my first language)
It all started when I was 17, still in high school. I was quite lonely and introverted, and I wanted to meet new people, so I installed an app where there were several metalhead-type communities, role-playing, drawing, those things. In the metalhead community, I met someone (let's call him Alex). He lived in another country where he spoke the same language as me, we had almost the same tastes and preferences and you could say that we connected at that moment. He was going through a breakup and so was I, and I think we both supported each other. He never told me his age and it's something I constantly blame myself for.
Time passed, I fell in love with him and I promised him that I would go to his country to visit him. I started saving money from my parents for school lunches, and that led to an eating disorder, I lost a lot of weight, and I was very insecure about my body. Throughout our relationship, everything seemed to be going well until one day, I looked at his social media and saw that he had a picture of him kissing another girl, (let's call her Sarah). I don't know what I thought at the time but I didn't give it any importance. A few months later, Alex had uploaded another picture of him kissing Sarah. When I complained to him, he got really mad at me, telling me I was crazy, that they were just pictures for an art project. At that time, I found out that he was in college and I was still in high school.
I have the flu and my head is exploding, so I'll go to the main points. I complained to him a third time about the girl and that's where everything went to shit. I wanted to break up with Alex, I told him that I was tired and that for the good of both of us, each of us should go our own way, but he got so angry with me that he threatened to commit suicide. Sarah also had these same problems so it was pretty fucked up, I hated Sarah at the time, but she was a victim just like me.
A year later, I was already in college, they had given me the opportunity to study at a good public university, but I had reconciled with Alex, I had told him that I would soon go with him to his country. Then he started to insist and insist that I leave, that he would pay for my flight, that he wanted to marry me. He insisted so much that I tried to run away from home, it didn't work the first time, the second time, I succeeded. I left home in the early morning, my parents called me desperately and I was in shock. I don't know why I didn't stop, I was in time to go back.
Finally, I arrived in Alex's country, he welcomed me happily, we made "love" (it was very awkward). And that's when I realized that I screwed up and that I couldn't be more stupid. I lived with him for 6 months because that's what I was allowed to do as a foreigner, obviously there were many cultural differences, but I was always respectful of him and his culture.
I suffered many crises of depression, many suicidal crises, I tried to kill myself several times (cutting, a terrible method). One afternoon, he and I came back from shopping, I was tired and just wanted to sit down, but suddenly he grabbed me from behind and pushed me against the wall, I told him no, no, I didn't want to, but he didn't listen to me. Only when I scratched him, he let me go, but what was done was done. And I think I could have reported him, but I don't know why I didn't.
As time went by, I returned to my country, my parents welcomed me with love, something I am very grateful to them for. I got a job and tried to move on, but I was still too depressed by everything that happened in those miserable 6 months. Alex kept insisting that we go back, that we get married, but I was traumatized.
A year later, I entered a new university, but things were worse. And the worst was just a few months ago, when I wanted to put closure. He threatened to hurt my family, that if I went to report him, he would kill them. And at that moment I broke down. I can't describe what I felt at that moment, but I felt like everything was slowly falling apart. The next day, my dad supported me to go and report him, I did, but the prosecutor's office didn't take me seriously, they laughed at me, they considered my situation hilarious. To this day, I haven't received a call from them, nor have I heard from Alex, and I don't want to know. I write this now because the memories have been eating away at me for months, and because I feel too alone. And regarding Sarah, she's doing well, we both suffered what it's like to be with Alex, I hope she does well in her life.
Well, love sucks.
It all started when I was 17, still in high school. I was quite lonely and introverted, and I wanted to meet new people, so I installed an app where there were several metalhead-type communities, role-playing, drawing, those things. In the metalhead community, I met someone (let's call him Alex). He lived in another country where he spoke the same language as me, we had almost the same tastes and preferences and you could say that we connected at that moment. He was going through a breakup and so was I, and I think we both supported each other. He never told me his age and it's something I constantly blame myself for.
Time passed, I fell in love with him and I promised him that I would go to his country to visit him. I started saving money from my parents for school lunches, and that led to an eating disorder, I lost a lot of weight, and I was very insecure about my body. Throughout our relationship, everything seemed to be going well until one day, I looked at his social media and saw that he had a picture of him kissing another girl, (let's call her Sarah). I don't know what I thought at the time but I didn't give it any importance. A few months later, Alex had uploaded another picture of him kissing Sarah. When I complained to him, he got really mad at me, telling me I was crazy, that they were just pictures for an art project. At that time, I found out that he was in college and I was still in high school.
I have the flu and my head is exploding, so I'll go to the main points. I complained to him a third time about the girl and that's where everything went to shit. I wanted to break up with Alex, I told him that I was tired and that for the good of both of us, each of us should go our own way, but he got so angry with me that he threatened to commit suicide. Sarah also had these same problems so it was pretty fucked up, I hated Sarah at the time, but she was a victim just like me.
A year later, I was already in college, they had given me the opportunity to study at a good public university, but I had reconciled with Alex, I had told him that I would soon go with him to his country. Then he started to insist and insist that I leave, that he would pay for my flight, that he wanted to marry me. He insisted so much that I tried to run away from home, it didn't work the first time, the second time, I succeeded. I left home in the early morning, my parents called me desperately and I was in shock. I don't know why I didn't stop, I was in time to go back.
Finally, I arrived in Alex's country, he welcomed me happily, we made "love" (it was very awkward). And that's when I realized that I screwed up and that I couldn't be more stupid. I lived with him for 6 months because that's what I was allowed to do as a foreigner, obviously there were many cultural differences, but I was always respectful of him and his culture.
I suffered many crises of depression, many suicidal crises, I tried to kill myself several times (cutting, a terrible method). One afternoon, he and I came back from shopping, I was tired and just wanted to sit down, but suddenly he grabbed me from behind and pushed me against the wall, I told him no, no, I didn't want to, but he didn't listen to me. Only when I scratched him, he let me go, but what was done was done. And I think I could have reported him, but I don't know why I didn't.
As time went by, I returned to my country, my parents welcomed me with love, something I am very grateful to them for. I got a job and tried to move on, but I was still too depressed by everything that happened in those miserable 6 months. Alex kept insisting that we go back, that we get married, but I was traumatized.
A year later, I entered a new university, but things were worse. And the worst was just a few months ago, when I wanted to put closure. He threatened to hurt my family, that if I went to report him, he would kill them. And at that moment I broke down. I can't describe what I felt at that moment, but I felt like everything was slowly falling apart. The next day, my dad supported me to go and report him, I did, but the prosecutor's office didn't take me seriously, they laughed at me, they considered my situation hilarious. To this day, I haven't received a call from them, nor have I heard from Alex, and I don't want to know. I write this now because the memories have been eating away at me for months, and because I feel too alone. And regarding Sarah, she's doing well, we both suffered what it's like to be with Alex, I hope she does well in her life.
Well, love sucks.
