Experience w/ Psych

[Cheshirecatx]

So a fair few weeks ago now, I went to my local mental health team for a routine appointment with a psychiatrist. They're aware of precious CTB attempts and plans and I've even had SN confiscated by the crisis team (UK). He was the rudest psychiatrist I've ever met, immediately looked at my diagnosis of EUPD and history of OD's and continued to say I was being stereotypical and that I was purposefully sabotaging relationships. (Bare in mind, I've been misdiagnosed and am now officially diagnosed as Autistic!!) I wasn't doing this, and the doctor had been made aware that I had more SN and rope and medications. I also was detained a few weeks before this for a similar attempt. (Partner found out) He kept asking my car details which I refused to disclose, and when asking why he wanted this he stated he had to phone the police as I was in possession of SN. He also rung my house and the crisis team (my family are unaware). I constantly refused to give him this information and was quite rude to him for not listening to me. Eventually I walked out and said I had work, and because he had no grounds of evidence except for me saying I had it verbally, he didn't contact the police in the end. If he was that concerned, why would forcing me to hand it over, when I expressed many other methods to him be his biggest priority? He wanted to basically show that he had power over me then stated it was for my best interest and to protect me. Because I didn't engage, I got discharged which went in my favor. I now have a new plan of ctb, I haven't got a planned date. I'm just thinking of when I have the time I'll do it, I'm not far off of it.

Everyone in my life thinks I'm doing a lot better, and to a point I really am. I've pulled myself out of a really dark place, and before today, I even considered myself as being recovered from suicidal ideation and then today hit me like a bunch of bricks. I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I felt like the biggest stranger in my own life?

Like all my fears had come back to life. I've become violent, and quite "psychotic" according to family and friends. I've not acted on the thoughts that I get associated to it, but there is a big urge to. I can see why I was previously a danger to others. But I'm so happy with myself, I'm over 3 months without police intervention. No more reasons to be concerned by them. Nobody to contact them now when I do act on plans. Life is weird.

I felt I needed a little rant about this past experience with the psych. I wrote a formal complaint and complained to my nurse, I'll never be seeing him again myself. It's messed up.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

 

[Deleted member 14386]

So a fair few weeks ago now, I went to my local mental health team for a routine appointment with a psychiatrist. They're aware of precious CTB attempts and plans and I've even had SN confiscated by the crisis team (UK). He was the rudest psychiatrist I've ever met, immediately looked at my diagnosis of EUPD and history of OD's and continued to say I was being stereotypical and that I was purposefully sabotaging relationships. (Bare in mind, I've been misdiagnosed and am now officially diagnosed as Autistic!!) I wasn't doing this, and the doctor had been made aware that I had more SN and rope and medications. I also was detained a few weeks before this for a similar attempt. (Partner found out) He kept asking my car details which I refused to disclose, and when asking why he wanted this he stated he had to phone the police as I was in possession of SN. He also rung my house and the crisis team (my family are unaware). I constantly refused to give him this information and was quite rude to him for not listening to me. Eventually I walked out and said I had work, and because he had no grounds of evidence except for me saying I had it verbally, he didn't contact the police in the end. If he was that concerned, why would forcing me to hand it over, when I expressed many other methods to him be his biggest priority? He wanted to basically show that he had power over me then stated it was for my best interest and to protect me. Because I didn't engage, I got discharged which went in my favor. I now have a new plan of ctb, I haven't got a planned date. I'm just thinking of when I have the time I'll do it, I'm not far off of it.

Everyone in my life thinks I'm doing a lot better, and to a point I really am. I've pulled myself out of a really dark place, and before today, I even considered myself as being recovered from suicidal ideation and then today hit me like a bunch of bricks. I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I felt like the biggest stranger in my own life?

Like all my fears had come back to life. I've become violent, and quite "psychotic" according to family and friends. I've not acted on the thoughts that I get associated to it, but there is a big urge to. I can see why I was previously a danger to others. But I'm so happy with myself, I'm over 3 months without police intervention. No more reasons to be concerned by them. Nobody to contact them now when I do act on plans. Life is weird.

I felt I needed a little rant about this past experience with the psych. I wrote a formal complaint and complained to my nurse, I'll never be seeing him again myself. It's messed up.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

I think this is a case of someone who loves you doing whatever they can at that moment to keep you alive. I get it's not the info you want, but I have had similar experiences with family. I think it gives them a sense of control, that without x you can't ctb, but I really don't know. I think I understand the "Oh I'm okay" then reality hits you in the face again and I realize I'm not okay. The constant back and forth drives me nuts but it's a symptom of bipolar, I'm not sure about autism.

Anyway that all sucks. Sending good vibes :)

 

[Cheshirecatx]

I think this is a case of someone who loves you doing whatever they can at that moment to keep you alive. I get it's not the info you want, but I have had similar experiences with family. I think it gives them a sense of control, that without x you can't ctb, but I really don't know. I think I understand the "Oh I'm okay" then reality hits you in the face again and I realize I'm not okay. The constant back and forth drives me nuts but it's a symptom of bipolar, I'm not sure about autism.

Anyway that all sucks. Sending good vibes :)

to be fair, I think I have bipolar. It would make sense with my mood changes not being super sudden but over a period of a few weeks with extreme personality changes. Anger, Sad etc. but the diagnosis of EUPD mixes far too much with Autism to be identified as part of my diagnosis' really. I had to argue it but by the sound of it, my nurse agreed. A lot of my family recognise a lot of change in the way I act, or seem over a few weeks. Never in just a day. I've been "manic" for about two weeks, I've only just settled back down and now on a bad low. But services won't explore that option at all. Easier to throw EUPD at you and discharge. And yeah I understand that, it was just frustrating as when I was being reasonable and explaining that I'd be more inclined to Ctb if it was taken from me, he didn't care. He basically wanted to cover himself and I was already being considered a risk to myself anyways. I think I've been playing happy for the past few weeks, reality sinks in and I've somehow quit my job, packed all my stuff up, sold my animals and threatened to attack a girl I barely know. It's odd. I barely know what I'm doing at the moment. My old psych suggested lithium and then he left so they just dismissed it. And the cycle restarts ah. I told the police myself I had the SN and rope when I was sectioned, they said it wasn't a good idea but they couldn't do anything. They just took me to a safe place where I was discharged.