I might have to exit sooner that I've planned which is before christmas. There's a possibility the cops might come rolling at my place soon. I will have no choice but to exit right then and there if they do. All I'm waiting for is the loud pounding at my bedroom window or the front door. Once that happens, that's it. I don't want to make a mess in my room, but I will if it comes down to that.
Things got worse today and it hit me in my chest hard. I'm trying to calm down before I make the next and last attempt since anxiety causes me to hesitate. I'm getting there slowly.
I've sent a "fuck you" text message to the coworker and her bf that convinced my ex to send me to the hospital. Taking no responsibility for their actions, not checking up on me at all causing me to feel extremely lonely anytime during and after that experience, and leaving me with an expensive medical bill. I don't care if she responds or not, but I'll enjoy her reaction if she does and will take that to my grave.
There will be no suicide note as I have a bunch of audio recordings waiting to be heard already from weeks ago. I will still make an attempt to notarize a Will -- not entirely a big deal if I don't get to complete it as most of my money will already be sent to someone I care for.
If my activity here stops completely by Jan 1st and beyond, then it's safe to say that I've exited successfully, or maybe I've ended up in the hospital as a vegetable. Either way, still dead.
Thanks for the support and patience from certain people. It helped me look through which methods might be available to me and leading me to just stick with what I have which is my gun. Also had a bit of fun streaming myself draw some anime characters for some people who wanted to spend time with me watching the process.
Catching that bus very soon. It's actually happening. Then I'll hope to see my cat again or be reincarnated into a world that's full of magic and wonder, or not.
Things got worse today and it hit me in my chest hard. I'm trying to calm down before I make the next and last attempt since anxiety causes me to hesitate. I'm getting there slowly.
I've sent a "fuck you" text message to the coworker and her bf that convinced my ex to send me to the hospital. Taking no responsibility for their actions, not checking up on me at all causing me to feel extremely lonely anytime during and after that experience, and leaving me with an expensive medical bill. I don't care if she responds or not, but I'll enjoy her reaction if she does and will take that to my grave.
There will be no suicide note as I have a bunch of audio recordings waiting to be heard already from weeks ago. I will still make an attempt to notarize a Will -- not entirely a big deal if I don't get to complete it as most of my money will already be sent to someone I care for.
If my activity here stops completely by Jan 1st and beyond, then it's safe to say that I've exited successfully, or maybe I've ended up in the hospital as a vegetable. Either way, still dead.
Thanks for the support and patience from certain people. It helped me look through which methods might be available to me and leading me to just stick with what I have which is my gun. Also had a bit of fun streaming myself draw some anime characters for some people who wanted to spend time with me watching the process.
Catching that bus very soon. It's actually happening. Then I'll hope to see my cat again or be reincarnated into a world that's full of magic and wonder, or not.
