Venting Everytime I think about ctb I think of my best friend and my sister

[baller]

I so genuinely want to ctb like I think of it every day every hour but I always think about my best friend and my sister.

I have no plans for my future, I dont have a desire to date or marry anyone and I really dont want children, so I dont even have those to look forward to. I have no reason to live apart from my thoughts on what might happen to them.

I love my older sister, she's so kind and caring and she still wants to figure out her life and I don't want my eventual death to stunt her in that. She's always been there for me and I feel like me constantly thinking about death is any good payback for the things she's done for me

And My best friend :(. I really care about her, I'm never worried about her but I am, y'know? Like I'm sure she'll have a successful future bc she's smart and the best, but sometimes she's too sweet and lets people walk over her. She often worries about things she shouldn't and I dunno, I know my death will impact her so harshly and I truly dont want that to fuck up the life she deserves. She's real religious and believes that if she's good, she'll go to heaven and see the people she loves but like, if I ctb I go to hell n stuff so thats gonna be something for her.

Yeah, probably still gonna kms at some point, but maybe if theres a way to just stop thinking about them, get all my thoughts out, that would be great. Maybe when I ctb I just wont think about anyone.

 

[whywere]

I had to reread your thread a lot, as you are such a tremendously kind, caring, loving and thoughtful spirit. I so wish that I had you as a brother as having no family nor friends, you are just so darn kind and the way that you think of others is just so wonderful!

Having you here really helps makes the term family that I use for this site come 100% true. YES, you do have purpose in this world as folks who have intelligence and a kind heart as you, and I feel after over 68 years on this planet and dealing with thousands of folks through the decades gives me some life experience on the subject, you are a wonderful soul with a kind heart and you can envision the future, so darn nice!

I never had kids, a long story, but at 68 and looking back at what I did as far as planning my future and the like, I bumped along, trial and error and found my niche and I really hope and pray that you do also, as having you here as part of my family makes me finally feel as if I also have purpose in this world and I thank you for that aspect.

Have a great day filled with love and bright sunshine.

Walter

 

[Ambivalent1]

Feelings are unrelatable beep boop

 

[UKscotty]

Thinking about other people just makes you human.

Not caring about others or the impact would make you a psychopath.

Be gentle on yourself, good luck.

 

[baller]

I had to reread your thread a lot, as you are such a tremendously kind, caring, loving and thoughtful spirit. I so wish that I had you as a brother as having no family nor friends, you are just so darn kind and the way that you think of others is just so wonderful!

Having you here really helps makes the term family that I use for this site come 100% true. YES, you do have purpose in this world as folks who have intelligence and a kind heart as you, and I feel after over 68 years on this planet and dealing with thousands of folks through the decades gives me some life experience on the subject, you are a wonderful soul with a kind heart and you can envision the future, so darn nice!

I never had kids, a long story, but at 68 and looking back at what I did as far as planning my future and the like, I bumped along, trial and error and found my niche and I really hope and pray that you do also, as having you here as part of my family makes me finally feel as if I also have purpose in this world and I thank you for that aspect.

Have a great day filled with love and bright sunshine.

Walter

Thanks man, wishing you the best :)

Thinking about other people just makes you human.

Not caring about others or the impact would make you a psychopath.

Be gentle on yourself, good luck.

Thanks, makes me feel a bit better ) good luck to you aswell

 

[theboy]

is normal