Venting Everything is fucked.

[SHThrowAway213]

I can't do this anymore .
My husband lost his job due to the virus. He has been looking and applying for every job available and has been getting no call backs, no interviews, nothing.
We have enough money to pay our Bill's on the 1st and that's it.
After that, we will be fucked.
I'm returning to work soon, less money as I'm only working part time and they calculated my JRS payments from when I was working full time.
My mental health is getting worse, especially my PTSD. I'm so paranoid at night that I can't sleep. Alcohol helps, but my husband tries to stop me from drinking and I can't afford it anymore anyway. I tried getting help and got turned away.
My physical health is getting worse. Chronic Gastritis and Neuropathy, both caused by my alcoholism.
Doctors are doing fuck all for my neuropathy.
Husband is stressed. He is very worried about my mental health and how I'm going to do without therapy. The NHS would not give me therapy. Was going to go private but now we can't afford it.
Getting more stressed.
Suicidal urges getting worse.
Everything just seems to fall apart.

 

[thereisnoneed]

That sounds like a quite of a tough situation i ve read some of your previous posts regarding your situation and your desire to CTB

im just gonna say i hope you find a way out eventually

keep informing us about your situation if you feel like

 

[SHThrowAway213]

That sounds like a quite of a tough situation i ve read some of your previous posts regarding your situation and your desire to CTB

im just gonna say i hope you find a way out eventually

keep informing us about your situation if you feel like

Thank you, it does help posting here

 

[Final Escape]

I feel you. I'm not married but totally alone and isolated and bc I'm broke now I have to end my life. I really don't want to deal with this corona scam anymore and all the bullshit they want to do to us. Like vaccines and microchips. I've never had great mental health. Many of us will die in this. Not because we want to but because they are going to enforce some really evil stuff on us as this continues. Vaccines, microchips, concentration camps. The rulers only gave us the illusion of freedom but we have never been free. Maybe prior to the invention of governments.

 

[DeathNoot]

You perhaps have already thought of this/done this, but check around for any type of corona relief benefits... I know it won't be the same as where I live, but outside of direct money there is hydro bill deferrals/credits, mortgage deferrals, things like that.

That aside, I do hope it all turns out for the better, one way or another. Rooting for the both of you <3

 

[Brackenshire]

I am sending you a big virtual hug..i agree with above check for deferrals..are any church's doing anything...

 

[Smudgedlines]

I can't do this anymore .
My husband lost his job due to the virus. He has been looking and applying for every job available and has been getting no call backs, no interviews, nothing.
We have enough money to pay our Bill's on the 1st and that's it.
After that, we will be fucked.
I'm returning to work soon, less money as I'm only working part time and they calculated my JRS payments from when I was working full time.
My mental health is getting worse, especially my PTSD. I'm so paranoid at night that I can't sleep. Alcohol helps, but my husband tries to stop me from drinking and I can't afford it anymore anyway. I tried getting help and got turned away.
My physical health is getting worse. Chronic Gastritis and Neuropathy, both caused by my alcoholism.
Doctors are doing fuck all for my neuropathy.
Husband is stressed. He is very worried about my mental health and how I'm going to do without therapy. The NHS would not give me therapy. Was going to go private but now we can't afford it.
Getting more stressed.
Suicidal urges getting worse.
Everything just seems to fall apart.

I am in the uk. I have 3 kids at home and I'm on less than half my salary as they are not paying commission. My partner is out of work. There is no idea on when either of us are going back. It's a total disaster and nightmare. I am anxious every day and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Just wanted to say that I am feeling it too.

 

[Bruces]

Being dead has got to be better than this drivel?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

You perhaps have already thought of this/done this, but check around for any type of corona relief benefits... I know it won't be the same as where I live, but outside of direct money there is hydro bill deferrals/credits, mortgage deferrals, things like that.

That aside, I do hope it all turns out for the better, one way or another. Rooting for the both of you <3

I know our mortgage has been deferred for 3 months but we have to start paying it again next month.
Thank you <3

Being dead has got to be better than this drivel?

Definitely agree with you there

 

[Meowkin]

I can't do this anymore .
My husband lost his job due to the virus. He has been looking and applying for every job available and has been getting no call backs, no interviews, nothing.
We have enough money to pay our Bill's on the 1st and that's it.
After that, we will be fucked.
I'm returning to work soon, less money as I'm only working part time and they calculated my JRS payments from when I was working full time.
My mental health is getting worse, especially my PTSD. I'm so paranoid at night that I can't sleep. Alcohol helps, but my husband tries to stop me from drinking and I can't afford it anymore anyway. I tried getting help and got turned away.
My physical health is getting worse. Chronic Gastritis and Neuropathy, both caused by my alcoholism.
Doctors are doing fuck all for my neuropathy.
Husband is stressed. He is very worried about my mental health and how I'm going to do without therapy. The NHS would not give me therapy. Was going to go private but now we can't afford it.
Getting more stressed.
Suicidal urges getting worse.
Everything just seems to fall apart.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's incredibly frustrating and stressful. I imagine it's almost like being a rat in a cardboard maze trying to escape when all exits are blocked.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's incredibly frustrating and stressful. I imagine it's almost like being a rat in a cardboard maze trying to escape when all exits are blocked.

It's ok and it is very stressful.
Tried applying for UC and they said we can't get any this month, hopefully it will be different next month

 

[ParasiteEOT]

I can't do this anymore .
My husband lost his job due to the virus. He has been looking and applying for every job available and has been getting no call backs, no interviews, nothing.
We have enough money to pay our Bill's on the 1st and that's it.
After that, we will be fucked.
I'm returning to work soon, less money as I'm only working part time and they calculated my JRS payments from when I was working full time.
My mental health is getting worse, especially my PTSD. I'm so paranoid at night that I can't sleep. Alcohol helps, but my husband tries to stop me from drinking and I can't afford it anymore anyway. I tried getting help and got turned away.
My physical health is getting worse. Chronic Gastritis and Neuropathy, both caused by my alcoholism.
Doctors are doing fuck all for my neuropathy.
Husband is stressed. He is very worried about my mental health and how I'm going to do without therapy. The NHS would not give me therapy. Was going to go private but now we can't afford it.
Getting more stressed.
Suicidal urges getting worse.
Everything just seems to fall apart.

Did you find the therapy helpful when you were receiving it?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Did you find the therapy helpful when you were receiving it?

I only had one session with this therapist but she seemed very nice and helpful and I honestly do think I would of found the sessions with her useful.

 

[ParasiteEOT]

So if you had access to therapy, would you engage with it, or do you feel you've past that point of even trying?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

So if you had access to therapy, would you engage with it, or do you feel you've past that point of even trying?

Yes, I think I would engage with it
Therapy isnt an option though.
The NHS turned me away, and due to my husband losing his job, we cant afford private anymore.
I don't want to have to kill myself, but it seems like it is my only choice.

 

[ParasiteEOT]

Yes, I think I would engage with it
Therapy isnt an option though.
The NHS turned me away, and due to my husband losing his job, we cant afford private anymore.
I don't want to have to kill myself, but it seems like it is my only choice.

What was the NHS reason for turning you away? You can request counselling through your GP, or Health in Mind if you want?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

What was the NHS reason for turning you away? You can request counselling through your GP, or Health in Mind if you want?

Not in the right mindset for therapy, sent me away with mindfulness techniques that I told them didnt work for me .
I have tried counselling before in the past, but it wasn't really that helpful.
It might be more helpful now though.

 

[ParasiteEOT]

That sounds like you were fobbed off, I have heard that you have to request a referral at least 3 times before they'll, do one. To be told to go and do mindfulness just appears to be uncaring. Personally I'd seek to find a different GP.

 

[SGDynamite]

It come better Times, Money is not all. And please no alcohol is not a solution. Becomes your Husbsnd not Money-Help from the Staate? In Germany we become 60% Money from the last Job after the Corona Virus.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

That sounds like you were fobbed off, I have heard that you have to request a referral at least 3 times before they'll, do one. To be told to go and do mindfulness just appears to be uncaring. Personally I'd seek to find a different GP.

It wasnt my GP, it was a mental health nurse that assessed me.
I had to see her for 6 sessions and she decided on if I could have therapy or not.
Very uncaring, I agree