Venting Everything I touch goes to shit

[Aeathelina]

I cannot do anything right and it hurts that by my very existence I cause pain to people around me.
I'm in the process of fighting with SSDI for an increase because the current amount is not even enough for me to rent my own place in subsidized housing and because of the process SSDI delays payment until the verdict has been reached. Which means for the however long I won't be getting a cent from them, which is straining the relationship with my sister cause we live together.
I'm looking for a random job to scrape up some money so I can be a little less of a burden but being handicapped and not having a car is an obvious issue.
The guilt is eating at me and I'm praying for death so at least she'll get my insurance policy. It sucks that my bad luck touches other.
I cannot even articulate the level of guilt I feel . It eats in my soul and it makes me physically sick.

 

[4eyebiped]

Hey love, try your best not to feel guilt for things that are out of your control. I know it is easier said than done, but the truth is, you can't help your situation. I believe when they do pay you, they will backpay, so when the check does come, you can reimburse your sister. Hang in there champ and best of luck with your case!

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds stressful what you are going through. It is awful having to deal with guilt. I'm sorry you are going through this. It really is horrible being alive. I wish you the best.