Venting "Everything happens for a reason"

[noname223]

I think this idea can be very damaging for people who struggle. However this notion also can give strength to people. I think especially some religious people rely on it.

I try not to think like that. My two major reasons for that are firstly it is factually not right. Secondly it makes me feel bad.

First to the defintion. Everything happens for a reason. We have to differentiate. Mostly people don't mean this literally. So they don't want to make a certain statement about causality. Rather the idea everything happens for a good reason. As if there was a higher plan which humans cannot think of. Only a superior power knows about it and secretly interferes with the world. I especially refer to this interpretation. I already made a thread why the God's plan notion can be damaging for some people.


I want to to show my arguments with my case. I was severely abused by my mom since I was 5 years old. Which higher reason did this have? Have I deserved it? Because this is a negative thought that emerged when I followed the "everythnig happens for a reason" notion. Something similar can happen if one believes in karma. It can lead to victim blaming.

When victims of abuse, rape, violence, bullying think there is a good reason for their torment they can start to think maybe they deserved it. And these people should not be exposed to such a cruel thought.

Was there a good reason for the Holocaust? Are there good reasons why children get raped? Are there good reasons why innocent people got immolated alive in past centuries when they were accused of witchcraft? Are there good reasons why 5 year olds who want to live die a torturous death by cancer?

The simple answer is no. And denying that reality can be very damaging.

 

[Life_and_Death]

if those bad things didnt happen then said persons true colors wouldnt have a chance to shine through so others wouldnt know. of course not everyone has to deal with repercussions (outside of how they themselves might feel afterwards that we have no way of knowing) so even that isnt 100% accurate.

another could be "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" sadly sometimes it does kill you (suicide) but that aside if it wasnt for the bad you wouldnt have the same life experiences. ive read a lot of people are "grateful" for the bad experiences because theyre nice now knowing the bad in the world in comparison to going about their day due to ignorance and not personally knowing what its like.

so while these dont account for all the bad, it at least explains why some of it happens for a 'good' reason

 

[FuneralCry]

The phrase just makes no sense in a life where everything is determined by factors like luck and chance. Life is simply unfair and some people are just more unlucky than others.

 

[FireFox]

My family are one ot those people who believe in everything happens for a reason and raised me to believe this but I believe that pharse everything happens for a reason is bullsh* t and highly offensive.

I think people say everything happens for a reason to justify entitlement that they owed something better because things didn't work out and to make themselves feel better whenever a bad thing happens.

No everything does not happen for a reason. We live in a sh*t unfair world and society where life is a lottery. What country you are born in can effect your entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school and her purpose in life is to be a baby factory because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the UK, USA and western countries has more options.

The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities and networks to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will struggle and will have fight to create a good life for themselves.

The phrase just makes no sense in a life where everything is determined by factors like luck and chance. Life is simply unfair and some people are just more unlucky than others.

@FuneralCry Exactly

What country you a person is born in can effect that person's entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school and her purpose in life is to be a baby factory because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the UK, USA and western countries has more options. Every year millions of people enter illegally into countries like America and the UK it is because they want a better life for their kids and so their children will not suffer like their parents and can have a chance to have a better life and future.

The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities and networks to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will struggle and will have fight to create a good life for themselves.

Life is a lottery some people are born lucky in the right time and place however others are not.

 

[CTB Dream]

Reason cause effect science mayb not this mean, human wanr justify cruel same usual human cruel want idea tell cruel ok , what reason there nothing all cruel, human nonsense never reason . Only reson see atom move elec. What reason vegetable nothing all elec physics chemistry all chaos

 

[theboy]

cliche, but true

 

[On Replay]

"Everything happens for a reason" what's the reason for being raped ? , tortured ? , murdered ?When I didn't ask to be in this world ? kinda forgot …

Basically, The saying is hurtful to many

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

There are moments in life which alter your narrative about yourself and the reality you live in forever. The idea of things happening for a reason roughly applies to them – even if you are the one who decides that, and not some blind fate. From your point of view, the situation changed so much that the result of it is the reason.
Sometimes life pushes you in some direction so hard that it is impossible to see everything as random and pointless. It is up to everyone to decide for themself, and definitely not for others (i.e. 'your rape happened for a reason').

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

My family are one ot those people who believe in everything happens for a reason and raised me to believe this but I believe that pharse everything happens for a reason is bullsh* t and highly offensive.

I think people say everything happens for a reason to justify entitlement that they owed something better because things didn't work out and to make themselves feel better whenever a bad thing happens.

No everything does not happen for a reason. We live in a sh*t unfair world and society where life is a lottery. What country you are born in can effect your entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school and her purpose in life is to be a baby factory because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the UK, USA and western countries has more options.

The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities and networks to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will struggle and will have fight to create a good life for themselves.

@FuneralCry Exactly

What country you a person is born in can effect that person's entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school and her purpose in life is to be a baby factory because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the UK, USA and western countries has more options. Every year millions of people enter illegally into countries like America and the UK it is because they want a better life for their kids and so their children will not suffer like their parents and can have a chance to have a better life and future.

The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities and networks to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will struggle and will have fight to create a good life for themselves.

Life is a lottery some people are born lucky in the right time and place however others are not.

I agree. It's lie and bullshit. Sometimes life seems to beet up non stop at the same individuals. But why? Why I was at the shit hole in the begging of this year, super depressed, with suicide ideation, but somehow I managed to get up, find another job, my life was finally better, I was finally happy and then after not even 2 months everything went apart and I even get dumped to the street by someone that supposed loved me. Now I am even in worse position then the first place. I'm so tired. And I have to care my cat and even that has been difficult. I don't have nobody here, I am all alone. I trust to much in people but what type of life is this that we cannot trust anyone? A life full of loneliness, sadness. I am only here because I cannot decide what to do with my cat. She is the only one who never abandon me. I really hate my life.