Everything happens for a reason is total bullsh* t

[FireFox]

I went a couple months finally free from suicidal thoughts and experiencing real happiness until January where I was forced to spend an entire month in visting piece of sh*t relatives in my parents home country. It was the worst month of my life and everyday things kept going wrong.All I was looking forward to was going home.

The day we were leaving when my family and I were flying mid air damage was detected within the plane and the pilot deemed the flight no longer safe to continue. The pilot turned the plane back to the airport.

My religious family kept going on about "everything happens for a reason" and thanking God for keeping them alive whereas I was furious. Everyday in January things kept going wrong and that one thing that gave me joy throught the month even that I couldn't have .In the hotel room all I thought was out of all the thousands of planes flying in the sky smoothly our plane ended up being the one with the problem. I was so angry because if God was good we would have been on flight with no problems and a good God would have given us nicer better relatives and not the piece of sh*t ones that keep bringing suffering to my mother and grandmother. My grandmother and mother are foolish( sorry) for loving these selfish arseholes.

I believe that pharse everything happens for a reason is bullsh* t.I think people say everything happens for a reason to justify entitlement that they owed something better because things didn't work out or to make themselves feel better whenever a bad thing happens. Ulimately the pharse is a cop out and pure cowardice

No everything does not happen for a reason. We live in a unfair world where life is a lottery. What country you are born in can effect your entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the western countries has more options.The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will have fight to create a good life for themselves.Some people are just lucky because of the circumstances they were born into or found themselves in whereas others never stood a chance because of their circumstances.

 

[nilahq]

I grew up in a very religious household where every negative thing was "for a reason" and "part of god's plan". Being young and naïve, I believed them. It ended up just leaving me confused and angry because I felt like my feelings were invalidated from that belief. I haven't been to a church in a few years and I've never felt more free. I see now that people use that phrase to cope with the fact that their lives are out of their control or to be hopeful of better times. It's truly upsetting that it's become another phrase for consolation despite it being very harmful to the person hearing it. I wish you the best in your recovery and hope you can continue your streak of being free from suicidal thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that phrases like that are nonsensical, they are just said by people who refuse to accept the fact that chance determines everything in life and some people are just luckier than others. The truth is that we live in this cruel world where existing beings suffer all through no fault of their own, all for no reason. I could never believe that there is a God, to me that is just a fictional concept and I think that the existence of life is just an unfortunate consequence of evolution.

 

[vain4real]

It sounds like you have been through a very difficult and frustrating experience. It's understandable that you are feeling angry and frustrated with your family, your circumstances, and the idea that everything happens for a reason.

While it's true that some people are born into more privileged circumstances than others, it's also important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges in life. It's unfair to compare ourselves to others, as we all have our own unique paths to follow.

It's also okay to question the idea that everything happens for a reason. While some people find comfort in this belief, it's not helpful for everyone, and it's important to find your own way of coping with difficult situations.

In any case "god won't make everything go easy it's not heaven and life is rough and unfair. The misery of this world will follow us and the mistakes of humans will not be forgiven."

 

[vultureilse]

some religious people just come up with shit like this to justify themselves turning a blind eye to all the suffering on this world

there have been multiple occassions where i got told that everything happens for a reason and that god has a plan for me and is just testing me and a bunch of other bullshit after literally venting about my traumatic childhood. i was a literal child being abused by people who were supposed to protect me, how can you believe that this is something that was meant to happen? how can you believe that god forces so much suffering onto innocent people and still worship him?

 

[Hollowman]

Whenever I hear that bs saying I think and have asked a few people, 'why do kids get abused by religious leaders'? I hate that saying.

 

[eggshells]

I've always hated people talking about karma and how "everything happens for a reason". it's all bullshit, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. you just have to be lucky to have a good life and anyone who says these things is showing they've always been lucky

 

[CTB Dream]

Ths universe cha8s all no sense, all type suffer wat reason trama ptsd this all gmbla no more,. war reason ppl suffer die illne etc ppl ctb this all awful species say try make life lookok, all awful. Awful species awful universe injury damage me wat reason,

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think people say it to themselves and others to try and make themselves feel better. In a way, maybe it's one of the most extreme and ridiculous platitudes there is. It's normally said in response to something bad happening. You don't get people saying- you won the lottery for a reason.

It's like- yes- this REALLY awful thing happened to you but don't worry- it will all work out for the best in the end. It's part of some bigger plan that is doing all this for your benefit.

I think we just realise how fragile we are. Specks of dust that the universe doesn't give two shits about. It will completely and obliviously destroy us in a blink of an eye. I guess people just can't cope with being that insignificant. We like to hope that our good behaviour will be rewarded and that our lives and choices matter in some small way. I suppose we're just frightened. We realise how totally random fate is and just how badly wrong things can go for us. We likely just like the idea of some greater unseen power taking care of us.

I suppose I wonder what the world would look like if we didn't (likely) lie to ourselves like this. How would it actually be if there was no religion. Don't get me wrong- I think there is PLENTY wrong with religion. I just wonder who we'd be without our delusions though. What if EVERYONE was a Nihilist for example. Do you suppose the world would be better or worse? Sorry- I just ran with the idea there...

I suppose honestly, I'm saying it to myself at the moment... I've more or less quite the thing that mattered the most to me in my life- definitely the one thing keeping me going anyway- my creative career. I'm about to start a new and entirely unrelated job. The pessimist/realist in me thinks this is the start of a very unhappy chapter in my life.

For now though- I feel stuck here. I feel like I have to hang on for my Dad. So- I AM actually trying to say this bullshit to myself to try and get myself through it! If I go in without any hope at all that this COULD have some positives to it- I'm doomed from the start. It's actually something I try to comfort myself with after literally 100's of failed job applications- by now. Even though I realise it's likely nonsense- it does comfort me in a way. Probably because it relieves some of the pressure off of me- you didn't get that particular job because fate is guiding you elsewhere. Lol. Even though it sounds kind of stupid- even to me- there is a part of me that at least wants to believe it.

 

[hellispink]

Something is for sure, most horrid things in life happen because of something: human beings. We are actually the poison. We can't put those blame to no Gods neither saying its their plan like some religious do. Things happen horrible because of consequences of other stupid humans. It is like a chain sadly. No one can escape.

 

[immrw]

I feel similar about trauma "making people stronger." It's just another bs saying so people feel okay ignoring the real pain and suffering in the world.

 

[Jarni]

So they should explain the eternal suffering of woman in Afghanistan etc....

 

[HumansAreHell]

I went a couple months finally free from suicidal thoughts and experiencing real happiness until January where I was forced to spend an entire month in visting piece of sh*t relatives in my parents home country. It was the worst month of my life and everyday things kept going wrong.All I was looking forward to was going home.

The day we were leaving when my family and I were flying mid air damage was detected within the plane and the pilot deemed the flight no longer safe to continue. The pilot turned the plane back to the airport.

My religious family kept going on about "everything happens for a reason" and thanking God for keeping them alive whereas I was furious. Everyday in January things kept going wrong and that one thing that gave me joy throught the month even that I couldn't have .In the hotel room all I thought was out of all the thousands of planes flying in the sky smoothly our plane ended up being the one with the problem. I was so angry because if God was good we would have been on flight with no problems and a good God would have given us nicer better relatives and not the piece of sh*t ones that keep bringing suffering to my mother and grandmother. My grandmother and mother are foolish( sorry) for loving these selfish arseholes.

I believe that pharse everything happens for a reason is bullsh* t.I think people say everything happens for a reason to justify entitlement that they owed something better because things didn't work out or to make themselves feel better whenever a bad thing happens. Ulimately the pharse is a cop out and pure cowardice

No everything does not happen for a reason. We live in a unfair world where life is a lottery. What country you are born in can effect your entire life. A girl born in Afghanistan will never be allowed to go to school because of the tailban takeover whereas a girl born in the western countries has more options.The family you are born in to can effect the path of your life. If a person is born into a rich family they have so many opportunities to be successful in life whereas an individual born in a poor family will have fight to create a good life for themselves.Some people are just lucky because of the circumstances they were born into or found themselves in whereas others never stood a chance because of their circumstances.

I can agree that everything happens for a reason is a bunch of bs. Although I just hate empty platitudes anyways like "things always get better" you can't promise that. I've seen too many people bully and neglect others only to say that it will make them stronger. Or one of my least favorites family comes first. I think that only works with healthy families, but I just don't think family should automatically come first especially if they treat you like trash and ignore your feelings. I'm sorry you had to go through that..

I think people say it to themselves and others to try and make themselves feel better. In a way, maybe it's one of the most extreme and ridiculous platitudes there is. It's normally said in response to something bad happening. You don't get people saying- you won the lottery for a reason.

It's like- yes- this REALLY awful thing happened to you but don't worry- it will all work out for the best in the end. It's part of some bigger plan that is doing all this for your benefit.

I think we just realise how fragile we are. Specks of dust that the universe doesn't give two shits about. It will completely and obliviously destroy us in a blink of an eye. I guess people just can't cope with being that insignificant. We like to hope that our good behaviour will be rewarded and that our lives and choices matter in some small way. I suppose we're just frightened. We realise how totally random fate is and just how badly wrong things can go for us. We likely just like the idea of some greater unseen power taking care of us.

I suppose I wonder what the world would look like if we didn't (likely) lie to ourselves like this. How would it actually be if there was no religion. Don't get me wrong- I think there is PLENTY wrong with religion. I just wonder who we'd be without our delusions though. What if EVERYONE was a Nihilist for example. Do you suppose the world would be better or worse? Sorry- I just ran with the idea there...

I suppose honestly, I'm saying it to myself at the moment... I've more or less quite the thing that mattered the most to me in my life- definitely the one thing keeping me going anyway- my creative career. I'm about to start a new and entirely unrelated job. The pessimist/realist in me thinks this is the start of a very unhappy chapter in my life.

For now though- I feel stuck here. I feel like I have to hang on for my Dad. So- I AM actually trying to say this bullshit to myself to try and get myself through it! If I go in without any hope at all that this COULD have some positives to it- I'm doomed from the start. It's actually something I try to comfort myself with after literally 100's of failed job applications- by now. Even though I realise it's likely nonsense- it does comfort me in a way. Probably because it relieves some of the pressure off of me- you didn't get that particular job because fate is guiding you elsewhere. Lol. Even though it sounds kind of stupid- even to me- there is a part of me that at least wants to believe it.

I also wonder what it would be like if people weren't so good at lying to ourselves, I think that is a very interesting train of thought. I'm really not sure if it would make things any better or just make them different. I'd like to think if we were not honest with ourselves as a species that maybe we would have learned to treat each other a little better but that's probably just wishful thinking.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to give up the career you loved. That's a really hard choice to have to make, I had to do the same years ago. It still kinda feels like a part of my soul is missing. I wish we didn't have to make such choices as to sacrifice what we love in order to survive. But for what it's worth I wish you luck with your new job.

 

[bolt]

people don't know what to say, so they say cliches..... the world is unjust and evil. Sh*t happens to good innocent people.

 

[Moonomyth]

Everything does happen for a reason, it's just the reason is random acts of determinism, and that doesn't provide a narratively satisfying answer for most. Hence the other, invented variety.

 

[missingpeace]

It's bullshit, I used to follow my heart thinking 'this feels right' when in the end it let me down and now I find myself in a situation where I want to kill myself. The only 'reason that this could have happened' is because God wants me dead because no one can survive this level of suffering.

 

[Bardo]

It took YEARS for me to break free of all that poppycock. I'm still prone to some superstitious ideas and things like "energy" and "consciousness studies", but reading the headlines daily just reaffirms how much of all that is magical thinking. If "god" exists, then it should be executed for horrific crimes against all life forms. Rest assured, there ain't nothin' but you, me. and Nature.

 

[FireFox]

Whenever I hear that bs saying I think and have asked a few people, 'why do kids get abused by religious leaders'? I hate that saying.

@Hollowman Another problem with the pharse is not everything can be explained for example evil behaviour in human beings such as Jeffrey Dahmer

Throughout the years there has been psyclogical and criminological research into the behaviour of Jeffrey Dahmer to try help criminologists and psyclogists understand why he did those vile crimes but no amount of research can ever help humans understand why he loved to kill and was sexually satisfied in raping and eating men's flesh. He brought nothing but suffering to peoples lives. The victims families who are alive still have to live with the pain he caused them.

Dahmer was pure evil and choose that life of depravity. I watched the Netflix series of Jeffrey Dahmer by Ryan Murphy. Jeffrey Dahmer yes grew up in an dysfunctional household but he had multiple chances in life first the university then the military which he messed up. He could have had a normal life but chose not to do.

We have people in this world who are pure evil, choose to do pure evil and we will we never understand why. We will never understand how a human can be so evil and feel no care about the pain they cause others.

 

[FireFox]

It took YEARS for me to break free of all that poppycock. I'm still prone to some superstitious ideas and things like "energy" and "consciousness studies", but reading the headlines daily just reaffirms how much of all that is magical thinking. If "god" exists, then it should be executed for horrific crimes against all life forms. Rest assured, there ain't nothin' but you, me. and Nature.

@Bardo I honestly think the pharse everyone happens for a reason is very harmful especially for those who believe it as the pharse doesn't provide answers or comfort in certain situations when things go awfully wrong. My grandmothers sister had an adult daughter who died suddenly last year. My grandmothers sister is one of those people who believes everything happens for a reason.

When the adult daughter died she became a very bitter and angry person over the loss of her daughter. She questioned why did her daughter who had everything to live for have to die so suddenly so young.

My grandmothers sister became a very bitter person and took out her bitterness and anger on all the other family members especially those who had kids. It was so horrific to witness as she ended up upsetting other family members in her attacks.

people don't know what to say, so they say cliches..... the world is unjust and evil. Sh*t happens to good innocent people.

@bolt "Sh*t happens to good innocent people"

Yep my grandmother is a classical example of this. My grandmother all throughout her life always financially helped all the relatives in the family whenever they had problems and was always there for them. My grandmother is one of those people who doesn't want to see others suffering and struggling.

When my grandmother became ill NONE of these relatives visited her in hospital or even picked up the phone to ask how she was doing. When my mother was struggling as a single mum when she had me none of relatives cared.

All the financial support and other support my grandmother and mother were giving the relatives and including their adult children have they have no respect for my grandmother and mother. These arseholes brought nothing but suffering to my family.
my grandmother and mother love the relatives whereas I absolutely hate them. I pretend to be happy and civil with my relatives for my grandmother and mother's sake.

 

[FireFox]

I grew up in a very religious household where every negative thing was "for a reason" and "part of god's plan". Being young and naïve, I believed them. It ended up just leaving me confused and angry because I felt like my feelings were invalidated from that belief. I haven't been to a church in a few years and I've never felt more free. I see now that people use that phrase to cope with the fact that their lives are out of their control or to be hopeful of better times. It's truly upsetting that it's become another phrase for consolation despite it being very harmful to the person hearing it. I wish you the best in your recovery and hope you can continue your streak of being free from suicidal thoughts.

@nilahq virtual hug
>I grew up in a very religious household where every negative thing was "for a reason" and "part of god's plan". Being young and naïve, I believed them

Oh my God I can relate so much to this. As a teenager I hated it so much if things didn't go the way I wanted my family always said its "all part of God's plan". It upset me so much because I was never allowed to experience fully real disappointment, sadness and my emotions dealing with it.
If people want to believe everything happens for a reason then fine but they should not impose this belief on other people and leave other people alone to deal with their feelings of upset. That is what I think.

some religious people just come up with shit like this to justify themselves turning a blind eye to all the suffering on this world

there have been multiple occassions where i got told that everything happens for a reason and that god has a plan for me and is just testing me and a bunch of other bullshit after literally venting about my traumatic childhood. i was a literal child being abused by people who were supposed to protect me, how can you believe that this is something that was meant to happen? how can you believe that god forces so much suffering onto innocent people and still worship him?

@vultureilse child abuse is the worst crime a human being can commit and there is no excuse whatsoever for child abuse. The penalties for child abuse needs to be more stricter especially for those who cover it up.

As a child you should have been protected and the people who abused you should have been punished under the law. You deserved so much better.

I hate the pharse everything happens for a reason because not everything can be explained.We live in a world where we have people who are just pure evil and choose to be. We will never understand why people are like this and we should not excuse thier behaviour. Evil people need to be punished.

Please take care lots of love from FireFox

I've always hated people talking about karma and how "everything happens for a reason". it's all bullshit, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. you just have to be lucky to have a good life and anyone who says these things is showing they've always been lucky

@eggshells Bingo privilege unfortunately blinds people from reality.

I feel similar about trauma "making people stronger." It's just another bs saying so people feel okay ignoring the real pain and suffering in the world.

@immrw My grandmother and mother went through a lot of suffering living in a 3rd world country and other issues in their lives. My family believe because they overcome adversity anyone can and people who dont are cowards.

Trauma effects everyone differently some people will be stronger and be able to cope well however others will not. Either way nobody should be judged and all people experiencing pain, trauma need to be treated with compassion and given support to help heal.