Venting Everything goes wrong at the Moment

[Jodie2019]

Hey Guys i'm new here at this forum,
I don't now how i can solve the problems which i had since 9 months, my only friend i still have is doing pretty bad again, and i don't know how i can help her right now because when i talk to her she says that she is okay although i told her i shouldn't judge her if she lets it out. I can't stand it if she does something to me and I think about her almost all the time. Everything goes wrong, be it that I see no hope, I have at most a girlfriend who is doing pretty bad, all of me life was just a waste of time and I would rather be dead than to see or bear to lose people I loved and could not save, my whole head is just full, I just do not want to burden a friend or people with my problems.
I dont know what i can do!

 

[madbananas]

Hey Guys i'm new here at this forum,
I don't now how i can solve the problems which i had since 9 months, my only friend i still have is doing pretty bad again, and i don't know how i can help her right now because when i talk to her she says that she is okay although i told her i shouldn't judge her if she lets it out. I can't stand it if she does something to me and I think about her almost all the time. Everything goes wrong, be it that I see no hope, I have at most a girlfriend who is doing pretty bad, all of me life was just a waste of time and I would rather be dead than to see or bear to lose people I loved and could not save, my whole head is just full, I just do not want to burden a friend or people with my problems.
I dont know what i can do!

Welcome to the forum
First of all I want to say I'm sorry for what you're going through, seems like you're feeling totally overwhelmed. You're not alone here. What makes you think you're a burden?

 

[Jodie2019]

i would say that at the moment i only talk about my problems with people and i have the feeling that people and especially people who do it badly and which i don't want to lose because i don't see any more meaning to live Since I have seen her it has been the only real friendship in my life so far. I do not want to overwhelm you with my feelings and not annoy you with my problems as I have done so far. I love her so much. I have to love the whole time to think about her again and hope that she is better and she does not finish it. I do not want to be a burden but just everything is going wrong right now, be it in the search for an education of my sexuality and myself, I wish I already had it earlier than I had ended it then some people would not have experienced someone like me.

 

[madbananas]

i would say that at the moment i only talk about my problems with people and i have the feeling that people and especially people who do it badly and which i don't want to lose because i don't see any more meaning to live Since I have seen her it has been the only real friendship in my life so far. I do not want to overwhelm you with my feelings and not annoy you with my problems as I have done so far. I love her so much. I have to love the whole time to think about her again and hope that she is better and she does not finish it. I do not want to be a burden but just everything is going wrong right now, be it in the search for an education of my sexuality and myself, I wish I already had it earlier than I had ended it then some people would not have experienced someone like me.

I appreciate that. I had what I felt like was a friend and it was really the first person in my life who actually got me and didn't run for the hills. Because of certain circumstances, she now can't be in my life, which is the reason why I joined this forum. It's devastating and heart breaking. You said you have a girlfriend and that she's struggling a lot right now, are either of you getting any support whether from family Or professionals?

 

[Jodie2019]

I appreciate that. I had what I felt like was a friend and it was really the first person in my life who actually got me and didn't run for the hills. Because of certain circumstances, she now can't be in my life, which is the reason why I joined this forum. It's devastating and heart breaking. You said you have a girlfriend and that she's struggling a lot right now, are either of you getting any support whether from family Or professionals?

yes...
yes we are both with the same therapist, but she only had her first appointment and could hardly talk about her problems, I had my third conversation on Thursday, but everything is stacking up, I do not know whether it will end well, or I will make it
do you have a therapist

 

[madbananas]

yes...
yes we are both with the same therapist, but she only had her first appointment and could hardly talk about her problems, I had my third conversation on Thursday, but everything is stacking up, I do not know whether it will end well, or I will make it
do you have a therapist

That's not uncommon for the first therapy session, so hopefully things my change as she starts to feel some trust for the therapist. I unfortunately don't have one. I'm my area the waiting list is two years and I still have about a year left before I will supposedly be at the top of that waiting list. Can't afford to go private and have no friends I can chat about my problems with. I have people who I get along with but I've removed myself from even them recently because when they ask me what's wrong I can't even tell them because they won't understand and just say things that make me worse (without them intending to hurt me). I just feel like people in my life contact me out of pity.

 

[Jodie2019]

That's not uncommon for the first therapy session, so hopefully things my change as she starts to feel some trust for the therapist. I unfortunately don't have one. I'm my area the waiting list is two years and I still have about a year left before I will supposedly be at the top of that waiting list. Can't afford to go private and have no friends I can chat about my problems with. I have people who I get along with but I've removed myself from even them recently because when they ask me what's wrong I can't even tell them because they won't understand and just say things that make me worse (without them intending to hurt me). I just feel like people in my life contact me out of pity.

okay, that is of course difficult, i had the experience here in germany that if you are lucky you can get a place within a few weeks. i hope it will work out for you soon and that you will have good experiences with friends, i can tell you now do not give as many tips regarding friends because I did not have the experience for it. Is it difficult for you to get places in the country where you are?

 

[madbananas]

okay, that is of course difficult, i had the experience here in germany that if you are lucky you can get a place within a few weeks. i hope it will work out for you soon and that you will have good experiences with friends, i can tell you now do not give as many tips regarding friends because I did not have the experience for it. Is it difficult for you to get places in the country where you are?

thank you. It's a nightmare getting any help in my country and the quality and availability of therapies even vary between areas within my country.
I hope your friend and girlfriend start to feel better soon, I know it's hard when someone tells you they are ok when you know they aren't.

 

[Jodie2019]

thank you. It's a nightmare getting any help in my country and the quality and availability of therapies even vary between areas within my country.
I hope your friend and girlfriend start to feel better soon, I know it's hard when someone tells you they are ok when you know they aren't.

Thank you, I also wish you all the best and hope that you will get an appointment as soon as possible. 2 years already sound extremely extreme that you have to wait.

 

[madbananas]

Thank you, I also wish you all the best and hope that you will get an appointment as soon as possible. 2 years already sound extremely extreme that you have to wait.

Should just be a year now hopefully haha. It is extreme, and it's ridiculous. Especially because counselling services won't take me either because I'm "too severe" which is stupid because I wouldn't be so "severe" if I had someone to talk to thank goodness for this forum for some peer support!

 

[cant cry]

That sounds really tough. It made me sad to read. I don't have any great advice to give or anything but I hope she gets well and remember you don't have to face anything alone. There's a lot of support on this board.

 

[Jodie2019]

That sounds really tough. It made me sad to read. I don't have any great advice to give or anything but I hope she gets well and remember you don't have to face anything alone. There's a lot of support on this board.

Thank you, but I do not have the hope that something positive will happen to me, a bit of a shame that I have not yet committed myself to my mistakes and myself, although the urge is sometimes strong, but unfortunately I cannot even do that.
it's a shame that I can't cry even though I often wish
well someday everything will come out
Thanks anyway
I'm pretty much done right now from the Hot weather here in Germany and some other Things