Venting Everything and nothing

[FlowingVali]

I don't get it. It's so messed up. I'm not a monster but you treat me like one? I thought I wasn't but seeing you see me I feel like I am. But you told me I wasn't. But I feel like I am. I want to stop this. I was okay before you. I was recovering before you. I gave up on leaving the world before you. I'm not your priority but did you have to ruin everything? Why am I here again? Why do I want this to end again? I was doing so well. Why did you reset everything again? Six weeks. It'll all be over soon. Because of you. And it's not even your fault. I know. Your responsibly blah blah. Don't care, hate you anyway. It's just how I am. I don't know how I'm going to survive another six weeks. Why'd you have to ruin everything? I was doing so well. I was okay. I hate you. Why did you have to do that? I don't know how I'll survive six more weeks. Even worse if I fail. Before I didn't mind failing. Being seen as suicidal is one thing. But I said one thing I didn't mean. Now they see me as a monster. I don't want to live as one. I don't want to be saved as one. I was doing so well. I was planning to live on. So why? I hate you. I hate all of you.