every act is humiliating

[Distorted]

whenever i do anything in public, i feel humiliated. like i am doing something wrong just by existing. simple things like walking around town, pumping gas, or checking out at the store all feel like egregious crimes. i don't deserve to do such things, even if they are necessary. if it is absolutely required for me to do, i can override my anxieties and look at it objectively, getting it done anyway. but if it is something that i simply "want" to do, i'll avoid it. does anyone else feel this way?

 

[stygal]

I don't feel like I don't deserve to do things but I feel like everything I do results in a cringy outcome...as if everyone else knew exactly what to do but they forgot to tell me "how to human" and now I have to play pretend and it just doesn't feel or look right. So yeah, kinda relate - I don't like doing everyday things in public.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Same. I'll try to make my last gallon of gas last forever by not going anywhere unless absolutely necessary, just for the sake of not having to fill up or deal with anyone. Every day without human contact feels comfortable and like a win somehow. I was like this 20 years ago in college even and it's never gotten any better. I'm heightened and uncomfortable stepping out of my bubble for any reason.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, it just feels wrong that I am still alive. I am not meant for this world and I want nothing to do with life. I hate going out in public and being around people when I have to for some reason, it is not often that I do that and I mostly just stay in the house. I cannot stand people.

 

[Pluto]

Yes, I don't think I belong here in the slightest, and I just hope not to be noticed for the fraud that I am. Interactions are always awkward. I can't even imagine how it would be to be normal and healthy. It must be like paradise.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

That's the self hatred talking. You don't feel like you deserve to be treated like a human. I know because I think deep down I am the same due to childhood abuse and isolation.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I'm fine until the mfs start asking about the name of my gf and place of employment.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm a toxic dumpster fire of a person taking up space.