[Europe] dear travelers, I need your advice

[Memento Mori]

I'm starting to prepare for my (kinda senseless but necessary) travel. I'm going to leave Germany with all the money I can save until July/August. I don't want to live in hotels. I don't need a filled stomach. I'm going to live the dirty street life for some time...the only dream that's left for me, I'm gonna fulfill it. I'd rather like to do it with an endless amount of money, to always have a home, to have the possiblity to go ANYWHERE I want, but yeah lol. It's fine. I'm going to have some fun with drugs, gonna have some nice talk with strangers and other homeless people, maybe find some work to extend my life span...maybe I'll find what I'm looking for. I really don't need much...I think that it's gonna be very hard and not fun at all. I don't want to get criminal, but I have no problem with breaking into an euthanasia station to steal some barbiturates for the end lol.

I have some time before summer ends, and when the cold seasons begin, it's time for me to say goodbye. I don't want to come back to suffer for another 6 months, just to kill myself anyways. My last possible death date is March 2020. When I'm leaving then I'll be sure that there is no more hope...it's hard to accept that, I love dreaming, but I have to accept. I want to give some people a smile, I want to make atonement for all my self-induced failures, and for me doing this is not the way to fix my own life, but to leave some (hopefully lasting) happiness in other faces before I leave it...I don't have ANY motivation, no future I'd like to live for...and I already regret that I'm giving up. I hope she will understand. and I hope that she never has to doubt that I would do everything to make her feel better after all that's happened...but everyone chooses his own way, and I can't wait to be actually needed some day again (maybe). Even if my heart could handle this, there's still plenty of time to suffer until then.

The hell that lies right before me, I'm gonna cross it. But I'm not gonna fix myself, because I have no option to fix myself. It's hard to explain from this point, way too complicated...my possible futures...maybe they're all fucked up...am trying to precisely analyze the reasons to explain it for myself, to be 100% sure that my death is alright in any case, but it's too hard...

I'm gonna generate some light in this dark place, to make myself feel okay with the fact that there's no more happiness left in me. that it's over. that there's no option to go back to what I had. I don't want to live for myself, and that will never change. I can forgive everything, and I don't want to suffer from anything, I want to talk about it until it leaves my mind forever...but I'm alone. And no one could change that.


My actual targets are: Germany, Netherlands, Czech Republic, Scotland, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, and maybe Sweden/Denmark. First I'm gonna visit the urn of a deceased friend, next stop is Amsterdam for some coffee shop visits to waste my money :) lol. then I have to decide for Scotland or Spain. Let it be a surprise!


I'm looking for information that helps me to survive and to adapt to country laws etc. Like, is there a place to get a free meal sometimes? Here in Germany we have the 'Tafel' for homeless ppl. Is there a place where I can wash my clothes/take a shower for little money in each country? I will have wi-fi, 2GB per month, to check dictionary, and maybe boards to find a place to sleep sometimes...or to search for some work, if anyone actually wants a homeless dude to help out. Is there a good way to store my stuff? I want to take as little as possible with me, but I need stuff like medicaments, sleeping bag, some clothes etc. maybe even a tent...I know ppl who did that, maybe they can share some information with me before I go if I can manage to meet them. But I need tips for a lot of countries lol
Do you have any experience?

I appreciate every comment.
greetz

 

[Johnnythefox]

Amsterdam for some coffee shop visits

I'm sure the coffee shops are only for Dutch nationals now, it's been that way for a few years as they are trying to shed the seedy image.
I lived in Antwerp in Belgium for a while, also Amsterdam and Ireland as well as Dusseldorf, backpackers hostels can be dirt cheap but that will be the one's with basic facilities.
There were plenty of launderettes in those places, I don't know about public showers though.
I can't offer employment advice, except maybe fruit picking in Spain, I understand that Sweden/Denmark are expensive places also.
You'll always meet people travelling at that time of year, but I wouldn't get too wasted unless you're staying in some place.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Maybe you should check out some couch surfing websites.

www.couchsurfing.com is one.

 

[Memento Mori]

Maybe you should check out some couch surfing websites.

www.couchsurfing.com is one.

sites like this one are always good to know :)

I'm sure the coffee shops are only for Dutch nationals now, it's been that way for a few years as they are trying to shed the seedy image.
I lived in Antwerp in Belgium for a while, also Amsterdam and Ireland as well as Dusseldorf, backpackers hostels can be dirt cheap but that will be the one's with basic facilities.
There were plenty of launderettes in those places, I don't know about public showers though.
I can't offer employment advice, except maybe fruit picking in Spain, I understand that Sweden/Denmark are expensive places also.
You'll always meet people travelling at that time of year, but I wouldn't get too wasted unless you're staying in some place.

afaik there are still lots of coffee shops available for strangers...I also know ppl who had no problem visiting the main town (amsterdam) to get some weed...the economy factor is too big to just deny access for all other countries...so maybe there are still the tourist cities with more gently rules? There's a town in NL where the coffee shop is AT the railway station (Venlo? am not sure), so that weed tourists just walk out of the train, right into the coffee shop, and back to their place without entering the town...lol.
fruit picking sounds good XD I'm still really unprepared for this but there's no way I'm NOT gonna do it. I still have time to prepare, and I also don't except this to be a funny trip, so yeah...

am struggling with ideas to transport my shit, I don't want to always carry a giant bag of stuff with me^^ for now I'm focussing on saving money. If anyone wants to meet while I'm on my trip, we can meet outside in some park and enjoy some beers ;) lol

thx for your replies :)

 

[21Neberg]

Netherlands has 'Leger des Heils' for the homeless.