EUPD/BPD Constantly SuicidalHow do you get past the SI?

[Existingnotliving]

I'm only alive right now due to 'luck.' I can't stand being alive and havent since I was young yet I have the fear of death that overwhelms me. I hate life and fantise about killing myself everyday. When I have tried to kill myself in the past my SI has kicked in and I've survived. I hate the face part of my brain is too scared to die yet the rest of my brain wants to die and hates life. I'm stuck in limbo and don't want to live yet that small part of my brain that tells me I'm scared of death always kicks in, I hate life. I don't understand life or the point of it. I don't want to continue getting older and suffering even more pain, just to die in pain myself. I can't understand the point of life no matter how many people try to explain it to me. For me all I see is: we live. we suffer, we die. Honestly what is the point in any of the suffering when we're going to die anyway?

 

[WornOutLife]

The point is that there seems to be no point at all.
I completely understand how you feel. Life sucks!
I hope death is better at least.

 

[ecmnesia]

not to be rude or something, but honestly, those who could possibly answer your question (how to get past SI) are not among us anymore... i wish I knew the answer, tho.

as for meaning, there is none. most people are just too attached to themselves i guess.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm just staring at my train tracks until the fear goes away

 

[LenkaX]

Your post is like I would have written it myself. I simply hate life. For me life on its own is a bullshit and a scam. I don't see any single positive thing about life.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

The majority of people do enjoy life though. Those who have people who love and care about them, those who find real love, get married, have children, their children have children...
There is only a very small percentage of us who hate life and can't see any point in it... we who are broken, abused, unloved, forgotten and feeling hopeless.