NSFW Eternal boredom

[a65b]

Being bored is almost the only emotion i feel nowadays, no matter what i do. Its honestly one of the main reasons why i wanna ctb. Its not like regular boredom, its like a black hole inside of me. No matter what i do, i cant be stimulated in any way that his healthy. I only have unhealthy ways to feel anything. normal ways dont do shit for me, hobbies, being in nature, partying, sex etc. all makes me feel 0
i have taken increasinly harder drugs to maybe feel something, it started with weed and benzos, then i moved to dope and now i tried meth for the first time recently. It was disappointing cuz i took a low dose but i prolly gonna keep taking it, cheaper than the adderal i take for adhd. My condition is probably a blessing because i can never get really addicted to a drug and i never had any issues quitting any.
Aside from drugs the only thing that is stimulating is crime. I started with graffiti, then i moved to shoplifting, starting fights and now im thinking of getting into dealing. I dont want to do it, i dont care about the money or status, i just need something fun that keeps me on my toes. Im worried about where this will end and i hate the direction in which its going. Does anyone relate?
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[absolute failure]

If you start with dealing, deal me some SN :P

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

Same. I used to be passionate about so many things. I was creative and picked up new skills on a regular basis. Nowadays, I'm glad if i can somehow look forward to playing video games.

But what hurts the most is that my passion for drawing has been taken from me. I used to draw for 4-8 hours a day, made prints of my own artworks... now, whenever I draw, I just can't stand it. Of all the things I've lost, this somehow hurts the most.

 

[Alpacachino]

Same. I used to be passionate about so many things. I was creative and picked up new skills on a regular basis. Nowadays, I'm glad if i can somehow look forward to playing video games.

But what hurts the most is that my passion for drawing has been taken from me. I used to draw for 4-8 hours a day, made prints of my own artworks... now, whenever I draw, I just can't stand it. Of all the things I've lost, this somehow hurts the most.

Seems like anhedonia then. I face the same issue.

 

[reticulator]

Being bored is almost the only emotion i feel nowadays, no matter what i do. Its honestly one of the main reasons why i wanna ctb. Its not like regular boredom, its like a black hole inside of me. No matter what i do, i cant be stimulated in any way that his healthy. I only have unhealthy ways to feel anything. normal ways dont do shit for me, hobbies, being in nature, partying, sex etc. all makes me feel 0
i have taken increasinly harder drugs to maybe feel something, it started with weed and benzos, then i moved to dope and now i tried meth for the first time recently. It was disappointing cuz i took a low dose but i prolly gonna keep taking it, cheaper than the adderal i take for adhd. My condition is probably a blessing because i can never get really addicted to a drug and i never had any issues quitting any.
Aside from drugs the only thing that is stimulating is crime. I started with graffiti, then i moved to shoplifting, starting fights and now im thinking of getting into dealing. I dont want to do it, i dont care about the money or status, i just need something fun that keeps me on my toes. Im worried about where this will end and i hate the direction in which its going. Does anyone relate?
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Having been to jail, I would recommend you stop doing the crime, because there is nothing more boring than just being in a cell for 18-22 hours with nothing but your thoughts.

 

[MicahBell]

I used to be really social and had many interests and aspirations and such. Then I developed DPDR. Not even snorting Vicodin has made me feel anything other than bored for years

 

[Pluto]