Venting Escaped the psych ward...

[loveable_lamb]

Hey, posted here for the first time yesterday. The full story on why I wanna ctb is in this thread

I had been in the ward for 3 weeks around the holidays, went to visit a friend for a week, had a crisis and now I've been back in the ward since 4 days cuz his parents drove me here and they're nice people. I have no intentions to stay alive, most likely will end it this month. I just need to get out the ward first, so I've been showing my best behavior and asked to see the psychiatrist a few days ago in order to go home. For some reason, she's been absent for days and no one is allowed to go home without her approval. So I packed up my stuff today and left after a nurse (automatic doors). I arrived at my dorm and soon they started calling me. I knew they would. It's standard protocol and it's best to pick up or they'll get the police involved. Answered the phone and they tried to convince me for half an hour to come back to the ward then called my private psychologist and psychiatrist so they could also pressure me to go back for half an hour. After around an hour of nagging I caved. Really didn't want them to get authorities involved (although it's an open ward) and, you know, I get that they're worried too. They promised me a convo with the psychiatrist tomorrow who will then see if I'm stable enough to go home.

Fingers crossed I'll get to go home tomorrow but I'm so scared today's "suspicious escape" nuked it.

 

[Johnzaga23]

badass

 

[loveable_lamb]

badass

idk if i would call myself one. just desperation i guess

 

[GoSan1]

Hey, posted here for the first time yesterday. The full story on why I wanna ctb is in this thread

I had been in the ward for 3 weeks around the holidays, went to visit a friend for a week, had a crisis and now I've been back in the ward since 4 days cuz his parents drove me here and they're nice people. I have no intentions to stay alive, most likely will end it this month. I just need to get out the ward first, so I've been showing my best behavior and asked to see the psychiatrist a few days ago in order to go home. For some reason, she's been absent for days and no one is allowed to go home without her approval. So I packed up my stuff today and left after a nurse (automatic doors). I arrived at my dorm and soon they started calling me. I knew they would. It's standard protocol and it's best to pick up or they'll get the police involved. Answered the phone and they tried to convince me for half an hour to come back to the ward then called my private psychologist and psychiatrist so they could also pressure me to go back for half an hour. After around an hour of nagging I caved. Really didn't want them to get authorities involved (although it's an open ward) and, you know, I get that they're worried too. They promised me a convo with the psychiatrist tomorrow who will then see if I'm stable enough to go home.

Fingers crossed I'll get to go home tomorrow but I'm so scared today's "suspicious escape" nuked it.

I went to a clinic through hospital transport, since my mother wanted me to visit one.

Long story short, I did not stay and swayed them off to let me home (even though I told them that I was soon going to take my life)

I would hope you would find peace, but I know this world does not work like that. If you want to have a good chance, show signs of relaxation, talk in a calm matter as well as a confident one. They look for such cues to tell if someone is "safe" to be left alone. Tell them you want to go home because you feel like you would be even happier there and could do some things you want to do (might be a lie, yes, but hobbies could be a good excuse).

I hope you too find peace in the end.

 

[loveable_lamb]

I went to a clinic through hospital transport, since my mother wanted me to visit one.

Long story short, I did not stay and swayed them off to let me home (even though I told them that I was soon going to take my life)

I would hope you would find peace, but I know this world does not work like that. If you want to have a good chance, show signs of relaxation, talk in a calm matter as well as a confident one. They look for such cues to tell if someone is "safe" to be left alone. Tell them you want to go home because you feel like you would be even happier there and could do some things you want to do (might be a lie, yes, but hobbies could be a good excuse).

I hope you too find peace in the end.

Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing. Just trying to come across as calm, calculated and articulate. I've made up this whole plan about how I'm gonna try to listen to my body to not put too much pressure on myself, going outside, getting exercise, eating nutriciously and recreatively going to school to have some social contact. I think they're buying it. I'm just super scared the escape alarmed them somehow.

 

[GoSan1]

Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing. Just trying to come across as calm, calculated and articulate. I've made up this whole plan about how I'm gonna try to listen to my body to not put too much pressure on myself, going outside, getting exercise, eating nutriciously and recreatively going to school to have some social contact. I think they're buying it. I'm just super scared the escape alarmed them somehow.

The escape might of not have been the best move, yeah, but it is salvageble. Tell them you really wanted to go home, but after seeing how no appointments were happening, you felt a bit pressured into thinking you might not be able to leave, and since things are getting better, you felt desperate to take the chance... Apologize and try to leave an image of "rehabilitation"...

I would rather help you instead of giving out ideas of lies, but since that's all I have done my whole life, I might as well continue to do so.

Maybe after all this ends I can find someone that I won't ever tell a lie again.

 

[KillingPain267]

Fingers crossed I'll get to go home tomorrow but I'm so scared today's "suspicious escape" nuked it.

If they bring it up, blame it back on them since you repeatedly asked for a psych evaluation.

idk if i would call myself one. just desperation i guess

No, you really are a badass. It sounds like you are not easily pushed around.

 

[loveable_lamb]

If they bring it up, blame it back on them since you repeatedly asked for a psych evaluation.

Thanks, will try that!