Help ending a friendship

[Life_and_Death]

ive recently decided that its best for my best friend and i to go our separate ways with our lives, hopefully for the last time by telling myself that hes already gone and i dont want to fuck it up for him. anyway im wondering if i should change my username any place that we use to talk/hangout to separate myself from everything and start new.

 

[WornOutLife]

ive recently decided that its best from my best friend and i to go our separate ways with our lives, hopefully for the last time by telling myself that hes already gone and i dont want to fuck it up for him. anyway im wondering if i should change my username any place that we use to talk/hangout to separate myself from everything and start new.

If you really want to start anew, I think you should change your username or even create a new account on whatever website you have in common. He might "recognize you" if you just change your username I guess?

Anyway, sorry you're ending a friendship. I know how it feels.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If you really want to start anew, I think you should change your username or even create a new account on whatever website you have in common. He might "recognize you" if you just change your username I guess?

thx for the advice

Anyway, sorry you're ending a friendship. I know how it feels.

its my own fault/problem. hes an ex i dont want to see with someone else, im distancing myself so i dont have to

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

People are just machines, everything else is our DNA making us delusional. "Wow this machine is smart", "wow this one is another gender than me", etc. Fight the DNA at every opportunity.

 

[Symbiote]

End a friendship, follow the steps of No Contact. Change your name, create a new identity especially if you two are on the same platforms, and if there's a block feature, use that to block them.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Another question on this topic

Is it bad to tell yourself lies that you know are false but can't really prove one way or another?

 

[blahblahhh]

Another question on this topic

Is it bad to tell yourself lies that you know are false but can't really prove one way or another?

Potentially! It could distort and cloud your view of seeing things as they truly are. We all learn to love the lie!

 

[Life_and_Death]

Potentially! It could distort and cloud your view of seeing things as they truly are. We all learn to love the lie!

That was kind of my thought but maybe sometimes it's better that way?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Is this even a good reason to leave a friendship?

its my own fault/problem. hes an ex i dont want to see with someone else, im distancing myself so i dont have to

Am I being selfish by only looking out for my own emotions? What if this isn't what's best for him?

 

[NumbItAll]

Is this even a good reason to leave a friendship?


Am I being selfish by only looking out for my own emotions? What if this isn't what's best for him?

I think it is reasonable if you are unable to connect with him in that capacity. I am going through something similar, and I tried for months to remain friends as usual, but the heartache became too much to handle. I can't bring myself to formally end the friendship, but I've had to completely withdraw for mental health reasons. I haven't hung out with her in a couple of months, and we've barely even texted in that timeframe either. I've told her exactly what I'm feeling and going through for transparency. Maybe someday things will change, one of us will have a change of heart, and we can reconnect again, but for now I just can't do anything in the current circumstances. I understand your feelings of confusion and guilt and hope you will find some peace and clarity on it soon.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think it is reasonable if you are unable to connect with him in that capacity. I am going through something similar, and I tried for months to remain friends as usual, but the heartache became too much to handle. I can't bring myself to formally end the friendship, but I've had to completely withdraw for mental health reasons. I haven't hung out with her in a couple of months, and we've barely even texted in that timeframe either. I've told her exactly what I'm feeling and going through for transparency. Maybe someday things will change, one of us will have a change of heart, and we can reconnect again, but for now I just can't do anything in the current circumstances. I understand your feelings of confusion and guilt and hope you will find some peace and clarity on it soon.

yeah theres a lot of times ive tried to call it off but just couldnt because i missed him too much. however this time feels more........official i guess. im not sure why it just does.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I have no good advice but I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry you're going through this. It's an awful thing to deal with. I hope you'll get to feel better in time.

 

[summers]

@Life_and_Death this is a tough one. I've remained on very good terms with nearly all my exes. Sometimes we hook up, sometimes just talk. I don't know, I'm 100% cool with them moving on, finding someone new. Maybe they are with me, maybe not. Something about me makes me never get jealous, but not everyone is like that.

In the end, if being with your ex as a friend makes you uncomfortable, then maybe limit the in-person contact. Continuing a friendship online, or over the phone/text may be an option...

 

[Life_and_Death]

In the end, if being with your ex as a friend makes you uncomfortable, then maybe limit the in-person contact. Continuing a friendship online, or over the phone/text may be an option...

its not that it makes me uncomfortable. i actually really like talking to him and he helps me with my problems as much as he can. its just some day hes probably going to find another gf and im going to be emotionally hurt and feel cast aside, knowing this i figured it was best for me to leave now. also our friendship has only been for the past few years.

 

[NumbItAll]

@Life_and_Death this is a tough one. I've remained on very good terms with nearly all my exes. Sometimes we hook up, sometimes just talk. I don't know, I'm 100% cool with them moving on, finding someone new. Maybe they are with me, maybe not. Something about me makes me never get jealous, but not everyone is like that.

How do you do it? That is a super power I wish I had, lol. It makes sense intellectually, but my dumb lizard brain won't let me. Stupid feelings.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Stupid feelings

this explains me a lot of the time lol

 

[summers]

How do you do it? That is a super power I wish I had, lol. It makes sense intellectually, but my dumb lizard brain won't let me. Stupid feelings.

I don't know. My ex, who I'm best friends with, talks to me about going on dates, getting messaged on POF, and I'm happy for her. But when I do the same, she doesn't like it. That's fine, we're all different.

 

[NumbItAll]

I don't know. My ex, who I'm best friends with, talks to me about going on dates, getting messaged on POF, and I'm happy for her. But when I do the same, she doesn't like it. That's fine, we're all different.

Have you noticed any difference in feelings based on which side initiated the breakup or does it not matter?

 

[summers]

Have you noticed any difference in feelings based on which side initiated the breakup or does it not matter?

I can only speak from the side of ending the relationship, but I don't think it would really matter to me. Sometimes you are better as friends or fwb's. There had to be something you really liked about somebody to go out with them. That doesn't change, even if the romantic relationship ends. Same thing with the physical part. Maybe you and the other person really like each other physically - you make each other feel good. That doesn't have to come with all the strings of a full relationship. But it definitely won't be nsa if you are exes with benefits. Each situation will be unique...