Venting Empty

[Lost.]

I am 25 year old wonam who suffer from numbness. Psych meds damaged my emotions, gave me partial sexual dysfunction and thoughts blocking to the some degree. It was hard at start. I accepted that. I was doing well and was happy again although life was never same. Then. . . I was injected with the antiemetic without my consent for dizziness and it made my symptoms worse 1000 times. I completly loss my sexuality, my emotions are pretty poor and i have a lot of blocking of thoughts. This is hell. I want all i lost. I miss me before injection. I want to cry but i cant. Recently i think a lot about the people who i knew online and who took their lives due this state. I feel so sorry for them but i cant cry. I am full of sandenss which i cant feel. I am traped. I feel such emptiness because of my sypomts (which has ruined my life) and because of suicides of people who i know online, i feel emptiness because of their suffering and early deaths.
Btw recently i made me spine problems worse a lot accidentaly during selfharm episode (i cut leg and spent a lot of time in posioton harmfull to my spine) so i am suffering from shiatica pain and i don't how to fix that. I am in lot of pain.
I wish i have no need to go to this forum but sadly i have (I am here because of antiemetic and psych drugs injury). I wish i am healthy and happy. I wish my online mates never touch toxic pills and die young. And i wish other my online mates who are alive and suffer never took toxic pills. This forum remebers me on all i have lost with injection, on my dead online mates and on my alive mates who suffer a lot from toxic injury.

 

[greebo6]

So sorry you are in so much pain. Constant chronic pain is horrible beyond words. Wish I could take the pain away for you .Its understandable that you feel the way you do.
I know its not much but sending you a hug anyway. >

 

[Lost.]

So sorry you are in so much pain. Constant chronic pain is horrible beyond words. Wish I could take the pain away for you .Its understandable that you feel the way you do.
I know its not much but sending you a hug anyway. >

I am primary here because of toxic meds injury. But pain has killed me recently too.

 

[greebo6]

I am primary here because of toxic meds injury. But pain has killed me recently too.

People often dismiss chronic pain but until you have had to go through the hell it brings you don't really know. I had a close friend who had it and I watched them suffer physically and mentally. It was bad.
Your toxic meds injury ,and the circumstances involved ,is terrible too.
Sorry you have to go through it all.

 

[Lost.]

I am so sorry for your frined. I can relate that pain
I went throught torture of chronic pain in 2017 in protracted the antideprsant withdrawal combo with my prior ribs/spine problems. I every day was suicidal because of pain. And shiatica pain makes me suicidal too and i am suicidal because of med damage. I already had shiatica pain (i got that for the fisrt time in august this year) and got rid of it. I hope somehow i will get rid of pain this time but i am afraid. But this numb state of mind had lasted more than 1.5 years and there is no solution.

 

[greebo6]

I am so sorry for your frined. I can relate that pain
I went throught torture of chronic pain in 2017 in protracted the antideprsant withdrawal combo with my prior ribs/spine problems. I every day was suicidal because of pain. And shiatica pain makes me suicidal too and i am suicidal because of med damage. I already had shiatica pain (i got that for the fisrt time in august this year) and got rid of it. I hope somehow i will get rid of pain this time but i am afraid. But this numb state of mind had lasted more than 1.5 years and there is no solution.

I can understand why it seems hopeless. It isn't fair.

 

[Lost.]

I can understand why it seems hopeless. It isn't fair.

❤thank you for understanding me

 

[greebo6]

❤thank you for understanding me

That's okay. No problem.

 

[Lost.]

Update: shiatica pain which made me suicidal during the last week - near passed :) but i need to be very carefull because of my spine problems and do physio/swiming. This the second- toxic meds injury is reason why i am suicidal and it don't want to pass

 

[noaccount]

Hi Cobalt Blue. I am so sorry. Both force and misinforming people about risks are such gross violations of the basic right to informed consent. Is your being on these drugs ongoing or are you out of that situation now? I hope you can find space to start healing and support from people who respect your choices.

 

[AutoTap]

I hope you get better. I feel pretty empty as well :/

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

suffering from numbness too, not from any meds but a mental one.

 

[Lost.]

Hi Cobalt Blue. I am so sorry. Both force and misinforming people about risks are such gross violations of the basic right to informed consent. Is your being on these drugs ongoing or are you out of that situation now? I hope you can find space to start healing and support from people who respect your choices.

thank you for understanding situation. i have been off pych meds more than 3 years. the antiemetic injection happned 1 year and 7 months ago.

I hope you get better. I feel pretty empty as well :/

MewtwoIsAlive , AutoTap i feel sorry for you :(

suffering from numbness too, not from any meds but a mental one.

.

 

[noaccount]

I am sorry the damage has lasted so long...

Have you looked at any of Gianna Kali's writings on life after psych drugs?

 

[Lost.]

No. I will google. Thank you.

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

How to die