Empty of Love

[Crematoryy]

I hold my own hands to simulate someone squeezing them between my fingers. I place the palm of my hand on my heart, to feel that someone cares about me; to feel that my flaws are accepted, that I am enough as I am, that someone values me; to feel understood even without an interlocutor to whom I can confide.

I grow increasingly ill from lack of love. When this neediness finds no solace, it turns into psychological pain. I need to be healed somehow. I must go through this loneliness alone. My entire purpose in life boils down to fulfilling this emotional need.

My mind is breaking!! At this rate, I will become a "potentially dangerous" suicide.

 

[Afterglow]

I understand this more than I'd like to.

That feeling of trying to replicate something that you can't have... even something as simple as holding your own hand just to feel something.

Just the thought of having someone who I don't have to filter myself around, someone who I don't have to lie to about how I'm doing. It's torturous.

I want to be loved. But it's something I should never have.