Hey, it's sad to see you have to feel this way. There is nothing I or anyone can really do for you except comfort you or root for you. I hope you don't give up on living. I used to feel the same way, empty. Nothing mattered to me anymore, I didn't want to go through not one more day. In times like these, it feels like all is hopeless. You see no paths you can take, nothing could possibly work out for you. It was certainly like this for me. I felt trapped and that I had no other option but to give up, and I did. But you must understand that you CAN get through this.
Suicide is always an option, of course, but I don't believe that is the best option. At least not anymore. I can't make you decide what you want to do, but if you'll listen to what I have to say, I'll be beyond grateful. There are countless things in this world that exist for you to explore and see. So many experiences you can go through. Some bad some good. Maybe there are more bad experiences than good, or maybe there are actually more good experiences than good. There is no way to really calculate it. I wish, I really do, from the bottom of my heart that everyone who gets a chance to be on this planet gets a good chance to experience everything life has to offer good or bad. I understand some people may have been dealt really bad hands in life, and so things for me might not be remotely close for others. That's why I believe that if you have the chance to become better and experience everything you can, you should take it.
I think many people are afraid they will fail, or everything will amount to nothing. I believe that isn't true. You cannot "fail" in life, I believe there is nothing you can do to fail. I believe life isn't some sort of test or competition. Nobody knows why we really are here, and I think there is really no point in trying to figure that out. I firmly believe that there is no point or meaning in anything, we are simply here by chance and we just coincidentally got the chance to live. I think everyone should just live. Just experience life. Nothing is promised in our lives, except that it will end. That is the ONLY thing we can be 100% sure of. Yes, I believe to live, is just to experience as much of this world as you can while being alive, thus, you cannot fail. It doesn't matter how far you go, so long as you make many memories that are worth remembering, good or bad.
People may think that suffering and bad experiences in life are pointless and that it is only a bad thing. I don't believe so. Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure but about the lack of desire. You feel happy when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state. Happiness is fleeting because we will most likely have a lot more desires. Happiness is the space between a desire being fulfilled and a new desire forming. Suffering is the space between craving a change and getting it. You cannot have happiness without suffering. I think suffering gives life some sort of value at least. I don't know, for me, I believe that if I didn't suffer in my life, I wouldn't think the way I do. I would have never learned the things I did. I would have never gained the empathy I have. Suffering is what makes great people, is it not? I've heard people say that life has too much suffering, the excess amount is meaningless. I believe so, but only if you have something outside of your control that is causing you that suffering. I'm not accusing anyone here, but just be completely honest with yourself. 100% honest. Are you the one creating this excess amount of suffering? It may not be things you've done physically, like making bad decisions. Even the way you view things. Are you always viewing things in a negative light? assuming everything to be negative before figuring it out? That's the case for me. Although I never did anything that significant to dig myself in a hole. My mindset was ruining everything for me. Although, if your excess suffering really is outside of your control, I'm sorry for you. Maybe you've been dealt a bad hand, so I cannot speak for you since my situation isn't like yours. But if you are suffering so much because of things in your control, I urge you to make an effort even if it seems impossible. It will be worth it. Don't feel bad if there are things inside your control that could be making your life harder. We can always improve. I'm not going to keep going into my thoughts about suffering though or it would be a lot longer.
I just believe that you should try. I believe you have nothing to lose from living. We only gain experiences from life, life never takes anything from us that it hasn't given us. Your looks, your friends, your home, whatever. That isn't you, that's what life has given you. If you had nothing, nothing but your mind, that's you. Everything else is from life. Living can be hard, but it can also be easy. There are definitely ways to improve your situation. I believe in you. No one can save you. They can push you, but it ultimately relies on you to get to a better place. That's why you must believe. The most powerful thing you have is your mind. Your mind shapes everything around you. I used to think everyone in my school hated me, and it seemed so. Then, I believed they didn't, and I started seeing the good in them and how they really treated me. Please, endure. Make the effort. We will all die. Nothing matters!!! Any mistakes. Any suffering. Anything on your mind right now will be gone anyway. Don't worry, just go and try experiencing what your life has to offer. You won't lose anything from that, I promise.
P.S. This does not apply to anyone who is experiencing what they are feeling because of things outside their control. If there are really so many things outside of your control that even making changes to things you can actually control doesn't work out, then don't mind anything I said. However, this doesn't mean that just because there are things outside of your control you cannot have a go at life. There are many people who have things outside of their control but just by controlling what they can, they are still making their way through life fine. Also, I would've liked to write more, but it's getting close to midnight and I need to sleep.
Sorry if anything I said was offensive, it's pretty late for me so I might not have noticed something I said was bad. (please inform me if so). I would love constructive criticism, questions, or any response because that will help me improve as a person and change for the better.
Thank you very much to anyone who has spared their time to read my message. I really do mean everything I say from the bottom of my heart. It's okay if anyone does not agree. I just want to share my thoughts and maybe change someone else's. I am just another stupid dumb person out of many who has some opinions.
