Venting empathy matters

[nosurpries]

my last posts on here have been a bit dramatic. i think i am able to hold off for my original cbt date of sometime october/november. i got a new job and it's actually looking very promising. i feel guilt about most likely not being able to have it more than 4/5 months, but it's retail anyways nothing groundbreaking. but something happend yesterday that literally made me rethinking wanting to cbt early.

i visited this small coffee shop in my town, i've been a couple of times they have good coffee and theyre a small bussiness so i always support them when i can. and so i went in and ordered and the girl working there was just so nice to me. she complimented my makeup and said she was jealous of how i could do my eyeliner so well and we had a small conversation. it was just so real and she was just very nice to me. it was the most human interaction i'd had in weeks it feels like. that small interaction (plus the new job offer) made me rethink rushing my cbt and made me feel a bit better about myself.

and it just makes me think, why isn't everyone just down to earth like that? why? it was no skin off either of our backs to have a positive, humorous interaction. so many times i leave interactions with strangers feeling worse about myself, feeling small and unimportant, like some kind of inconvenience. i am pretty much always willing to be nice, even when i feel fucking awful, i am never the person to take it out on others, and it makes me think why can't everyone just have empathy.

i'm just relieved to have just a little bit of positivity, because things have been a bit dark for me the last 2 months. glad to have a more level head so i can get everything in order for when i do cbt.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people can be very cruel for no reason and that is just the way that some people are, but I am pleased for you that you were able to have a positive interaction with someone. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

i'm just relieved to have just a little bit of positivity, because things have been a bit dark for me the last 2 months.

Isn't it amazing how little it can take to lift the dark clouds?! I've had dark moods lifted by finding my favourite ball cap, or doing a dreaded task more easily than I expected. .

Obviously, some days small positive things are not enough, and even a positive thing can be interpreted negatively.

But when positive happens, and we're receptive to it, the relief can be wonderful.