Venting Emotional Rollercoaster

[pony No.2]

I'm such a stupid crybaby who cries out of frustration. I'm distrustful of doctors and anyone who works in psychiatry because once you say the wrong thing you're going to have half your rights taken from you, it feels like an actual punishment for not being mentally or emotionally well, so I don't want help or to take medication anymore. I don't care if my antidepressants help me or not, I just don't want them anymore, things got bad before and I self harmed and I wasn't as emotional compared to now.

I was very upset writing this, I don't know if this counts as a mental breakdown or whatever. I'm being a crybaby, as my mom would call me. I was upset over not being able to fix something on my PC.

It's evil of them to further worsen my problems by dictating how I cope, whether it's isolating myself or cutting, I would rather do that than talk to someone in a piece of shit building I'm locked in who doesn't even fucking care. Look at how much I suffered and still suffer to this day, it's selfish for them to force me to be alive and get better. Fuck whoever does. I don't want help, I'll complain about my problems to strangers online before I trust a coercing therapist bitch and risk my freedom.

I'll cope however I want, why do they care? It's my fucking body and I'll destroy it however I want.