Effective ways to bounce back from a botched attempt and move on

[Deleted member 32964]

Hi,

I was thinking that this might be therapeutic for others.

1. I've noticed triggers in my own life that spark a deep depression, an exhaustion and a need for suicide or leaving a situation. As of now, I'm trying to find a workaround method (eg: alternative employment opportunities, different paths to take, changes in routine). Does it help when you identify those repeat issues? How do you go about either learning to be re-exposed without reaction or find workarounds? What are your methods?

2. I've noticed things that helped me feel physically better after self harm:

(I'll list those)

1. Green Tea
2. Salmon oil
3. Ashwaganda
4. I suppose relaxing and watching a movie instead of rigor (though I do feel somewhat entombed in my dark place)

I was wondering what has helped others as when you come out of something traumatic - shock is inevitable

As I have found it more difficult to live my normal, daily routine after a "SNAP" - I have never sat in my house this long or been this sedentary. I am trying to forgive myself.

Other words of wisdom or suggestions will gladly be taken. My brain is still hurting some. I'm not quiet ready to leave my quiet room and feel anxious.

 

[sartre_camus_love]

I think it depends on the nature of your triggers, the Huberman Lab podcast is a great resource for science based interventions. Exposure therapy, CBT / DBT are non-pharmaceutical methods. I also self-soothe, meditating daily is a big coping mechanism for me (I use the Waking Up app, you can get it for free if you just shoot them an email saying you need it) I also color, knit, fold paper cranes, go outside, tidy my living space (one bite sized piece at a time, like washing my towels or making my bed) make a tasty meal I find on Pinterest (budget bytes has good recipes) watch a movie (Life of Pi is a favorite) take a bath / shower, or walk around an antique store I like (I can't afford to buy anything but I enjoy looking) I have a long list of activities that I've learned I enjoy and I just try different ones until I land on something that works in the moment.

 

[Deleted member 32964]

I think it depends on the nature of your triggers, the Huberman Lab podcast is a great resource for science based interventions. Exposure therapy, CBT / DBT are non-pharmaceutical methods. I also self-soothe, meditating daily is a big coping mechanism for me (I use the Waking Up app, you can get it for free if you just shoot them an email saying you need it) I also color, knit, fold paper cranes, go outside, tidy my living space (one bite sized piece at a time, like washing my towels or making my bed) make a tasty meal I find on Pinterest (budget bytes has good recipes) watch a movie (Life of Pi is a favorite) take a bath / shower, or walk around an antique store I like (I can't afford to buy anything but I enjoy looking) I have a long list of activities that I've learned I enjoy and I just try different ones until I land on something that works in the moment.

Thank you for replying. I appreciate your response. I should try to learn a new craft soon. I got lucky today and scored a "get out of bed, free!" ticket and am not stuck in it drinking, staring at a suicidal reminder in the corner (coleman lantern) . I hope to make it to a thrift store, a marketplace booth for some veggies, make a curry/veggi soup and keep the ball rolling.

I also found a little bit of telecommute work and had a Zoom interview.

I will have to check on CBT/ DBT. I love naturopath methods for fixing what's storming inside. They always work better.

I don't think I "meditate" - I think I ruminate. If I could turn the broken record of shame off in my head, I'd be happy. I've been stuck on an ESP call with an abusive man for 16.25 years. I'd like the "service" cut off.

I will check into your methods. Thank you.

 

[sartre_camus_love]

Thank you for replying. I appreciate your response. I should try to learn a new craft soon. I got lucky today and scored a "get out of bed, free!" ticket and am not stuck in it drinking, staring at a suicidal reminder in the corner (coleman lantern) . I hope to make it to a thrift store, a marketplace booth for some veggies, make a curry/veggi soup and keep the ball rolling.

I also found a little bit of telecommute work and had a Zoom interview.

I will have to check on CBT/ DBT. I love naturopath methods for fixing what's storming inside. They always work better.

I don't think I "meditate" - I think I ruminate. If I could turn the broken record of shame off in my head, I'd be happy. I've been stuck on an ESP call with an abusive man for 16.25 years. I'd like the "service" cut off.

I will check into your methods. Thank you.

Meditation helps me get in the driver's seat to notice when the negative cycle starts with me, and enables me to direct my attention elsewhere. Also good for you for showing up for yourself and taking those steps, I've spent years in bed and sometimes that's the best way to survive. Congrats on the interview and the telework!! Heck yes to curry, if you have a solid recipe Id love to see it. Maybe move the lantern if / when you have the energy so it's a bit easier on you. Sending you love

 

[Deleted member 32964]

Meditation helps me get in the driver's seat to notice when the negative cycle starts with me, and enables me to direct my attention elsewhere. Also good for you for showing up for yourself and taking those steps, I've spent years in bed and sometimes that's the best way to survive. Congrats on the interview and the telework!! Heck yes to curry, if you have a solid recipe Id love to see it. Maybe move the lantern if / when you have the energy so it's a bit easier on you. Sending you love

Hi, Thank you so much for your reply. Yes - Identifying triggers and learning workarounds, even jotting those down and practicing. If I could, I'd role play with someone. My last triggers was commentary about women "having no right", "must be barefoot, pregnant & obey me" "how could any one woman have an abortion", "job is for men", "look like a member of the Adams family going on an interview". I had a job interview for something that I have a skill-set for, was already hired for and put a lot of time into education for. I've learned that gender stereotyping and pigeonholing me into a role that I've outgrown and am generally not a good fit for (age, size, income, education, level of comfort, previous experiences) throws me off. This (last 3 weeks) is HONESTLY my record for bed-rest. When I'm thrown off by a "trigger", I drink. During Covid-19, I abused alcohol and scared myself. I neglected my responsibilities. One things leads to another when I go down a hole and I become Jeckyll / Hyde. I do a lot of humiliating things to myself during an episode and cut myself off from things I need. When others abuse us, we abuse ourselves. I'm also learning to see that "birds of a feather" thing rings true. People follow the leader. I am not a dominant woman - I am private.

It was nice to listen to your advice. I just went to the library and will look for soft copies of the techniques you recommended. CBT/DBT. I learned about some self-hypnosis stuff and have already "gone back in time" on a long walk down Memory Lane.

I forgive myself for my bad behavior, but can't afford to make these mistakes; I'll end up homeless.

I love communicating with people interested in recovering. I was up and getting somewhere for a while. I'd like to be back on my feet again and find myself in safe zones where I'm not threatened.

Thank you!

Hi, Thank you so much for your reply. Yes - Identifying triggers and learning workarounds, even jotting those down and practicing. If I could, I'd role play with someone. My last triggers was commentary about women "having no right", "must be barefoot, pregnant & obey me" "how could any one woman have an abortion", "job is for men", "look like a member of the Adams family going on an interview". I had a job interview for something that I have a skill-set for, was already hired for and put a lot of time into education for. I've learned that gender stereotyping and pigeonholing me into a role that I've outgrown and am generally not a good fit for (age, size, income, education, level of comfort, previous experiences) throws me off. This (last 3 weeks) is HONESTLY my record for bed-rest. When I'm thrown off by a "trigger", I drink. During Covid-19, I abused alcohol and scared myself. I neglected my responsibilities. One things leads to another when I go down a hole and I become Jeckyll / Hyde. I do a lot of humiliating things to myself during an episode and cut myself off from things I need. When others abuse us, we abuse ourselves. I'm also learning to see that "birds of a feather" thing rings true. People follow the leader. I am not a dominant woman - I am private.

It was nice to listen to your advice. I just went to the library and will look for soft copies of the techniques you recommended. CBT/DBT. I learned about some self-hypnosis stuff and have already "gone back in time" on a long walk down Memory Lane.

I forgive myself for my bad behavior, but can't afford to make these mistakes; I'll end up homeless.

I love communicating with people interested in recovering. I was up and getting somewhere for a while. I'd like to be back on my feet again and find myself in safe zones where I'm not threatened.

Thank you!

Coconut Curry Soup (I prefer to use sweet and baby potatoes and blend them into the soup once cooked!) - I've used yellow curry but will use the red.

Anything-You-Have Coconut Curry Soup

Well, well, well. Soak it all up, friends --> the glory that is this rainbow veg bowl of coconut curry soup which is turning my face

pinchofyum.com

See recipe information I added here - some of my fav's and go-to's. Coconut Curry above is redundant.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/favorite-recipe.78964/

Hi, Thank you so much for your reply. Yes - Identifying triggers and learning workarounds, even jotting those down and practicing. If I could, I'd role play with someone. My last triggers was commentary about women "having no right", "must be barefoot, pregnant & obey me" "how could any one woman have an abortion", "job is for men", "look like a member of the Adams family going on an interview". I had a job interview for something that I have a skill-set for, was already hired for and put a lot of time into education for. I've learned that gender stereotyping and pigeonholing me into a role that I've outgrown and am generally not a good fit for (age, size, income, education, level of comfort, previous experiences) throws me off. This (last 3 weeks) is HONESTLY my record for bed-rest. When I'm thrown off by a "trigger", I drink. During Covid-19, I abused alcohol and scared myself. I neglected my responsibilities. One things leads to another when I go down a hole and I become Jeckyll / Hyde. I do a lot of humiliating things to myself during an episode and cut myself off from things I need. When others abuse us, we abuse ourselves. I'm also learning to see that "birds of a feather" thing rings true. People follow the leader. I am not a dominant woman - I am private.

It was nice to listen to your advice. I just went to the library and will look for soft copies of the techniques you recommended. CBT/DBT. I learned about some self-hypnosis stuff and have already "gone back in time" on a long walk down Memory Lane.

I forgive myself for my bad behavior, but can't afford to make these mistakes; I'll end up homeless.

I love communicating with people interested in recovering. I was up and getting somewhere for a while. I'd like to be back on my feet again and find myself in safe zones where I'm not threatened.

Thank you!

Coconut Curry Soup (I prefer to use sweet and baby potatoes and blend them into the soup once cooked!) - I've used yellow curry but will use the red.

Anything-You-Have Coconut Curry Soup

Well, well, well. Soak it all up, friends --> the glory that is this rainbow veg bowl of coconut curry soup which is turning my face

pinchofyum.com

See recipe information I added here - some of my fav's and go-to's. Coconut Curry above is redundant.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/favorite-recipe.78964/

This is a delicious lentil recipe - fast in the Instant Pot (all of 18 minutes). I dish mine on top of fresh kale and squeeze some lemon - add chili flakes. yum.

Best Lentil Soup

This healthy lentil soup recipe comes together quickly with pantry ingredients. Simple spices, fresh greens and a squeeze of lemon make it the best! Vegan.

cookieandkate.com

I found some CBT books at library. Will give it a chance. :)