Eden2k-Update:Taken SN

[Eden2k]

This has been my only opportunity to post. Got my phone back early today.
God I don't know where to start!
Took amount of SN recommendated (15g) didn't take anti-nausea meds because everything was rushed.
Ordered SN on Thursday from eBay. Didn't expect it to arrive so soon. The following day. Hadn't booked hotel as I was waiting to get paid the following week. Then I could book hotel as planned.
Went into my overdraft instead. Measured out how much SN I needed. Hid the rest.
Booked a room at a hotel not too far from me. Did this at reception. Went to my room, I was exhausted, but had a shower first, then lied down and fell asleep. Woke up late Friday evening. Dark outside.
Emptied SN into a glass of water. Gulped down glass of water with SN. Layed back down. I felt drowsy at first, but I felt this way prior to taking anything and hadn't slept since Wednesday.
Started feeling sick. Couldn't keep myself from vomiting. Thought this was normal though.
Passed out for a while. Woke up on my side with vomit all over myself and the bed.
Every time I tried to sit up, I felt like I was goung to pass out. I wasn't concerned at this point. Just annoyed that I hadn't died yet. Looked at myself in the bedside mirror. Fuck me!!! I knew something wasn't right. My complexion had changed colour and my lips also. Tried to get off the bed to get some water. That's when it went black. Next thing I know I'm being taken out of an ambulance and rushed into resus at a hospital.
Apparently hotel staff had let themselves into my room due to reports from another customer next door, who said that they heard things crashing to the floor in my room. When I was found I was on the floor. Out cold.
I kept gong in and out of consciousness. Put on oxygen and started on iv of sone sort. I told them in the ambulance about the SN, when I came round briefly. Don't remember this. It all still feels like a dream to be honest. I'm been on a heart monitor since I arrived at the hospital. The oxygen mask was annoying the hell out of me. Refused to speak to the mental health team when they came to see me this morning. The woman that came to speak to me had the nerve to say "why didn't you contact us before it came to this, we are here to help you." Told her to fuck right off. Too little to late morone. Told the doctor that it wasn't intentional. If I'm discharged tomorrow, I will be taking more SN. Go to hotel out of area.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Thanks for the update, we were unsure of the outcome.
Take care

 

[tevati]

Next time don't forget antiemetics and the acid reducer, take it for couple of days. The thing with it was not intentional is not belivebile. Just take it how it comes they maybe can even help you. Good luck and thanks for the update.

Edit: oh and i am glad you are "fine"

 

[Jodes]

This has been my only opportunity to post. Got my phone back early today.
God I don't know where to start!
Took amount of SN recommendated (15g) didn't take anti-nausea meds because everything was rushed.
Ordered SN on Thursday from eBay. Didn't expect it to arrive so soon. The following day. Hadn't booked hotel as I was waiting to get paid the following week. Then I could book hotel as planned.
Went into my overdraft instead. Measured out how much SN I needed. Hid the rest.
Booked a room at a hotel not too far from me. Did this at reception. Went to my room, I was exhausted, but had a shower first, then lied down and fell asleep. Woke up late Friday evening. Dark outside.
Emptied SN into a glass of water. Gulped down glass of water with SN. Layed back down. I felt drowsy at first, but I felt this way prior to taking anything and hadn't slept since Wednesday.
Started feeling sick. Couldn't keep myself from vomiting. Thought this was normal though.
Passed out for a while. Woke up on my side with vomit all over myself and the bed.
Every time I tried to sit up, I felt like I was goung to pass out. I wasn't concerned at this point. Just annoyed that I hadn't died yet. Looked at myself in the bedside mirror. Fuck me!!! I knew something wasn't right. My complexion had changed colour and my lips also. Tried to get off the bed to get some water. That's when it went black. Next thing I know I'm being taken out of an ambulance and rushed into resus at a hospital.
Apparently hotel staff had let themselves into my room due to reports from another customer next door, who said that they heard things crashing to the floor in my room. When I was found I was on the floor. Out cold.
I kept gong in and out of consciousness. Put on oxygen and started on iv of sone sort. I told them in the ambulance about the SN, when I came round briefly. Don't remember this. It all still feels like a dream to be honest. I'm been on a heart monitor since I arrived at the hospital. The oxygen mask was annoying the hell out of me. Refused to speak to the mental health team when they came to see me this morning. The woman that came to speak to me had the nerve to say "why didn't you contact us before it came to this, we are here to help you." Told her to fuck right off. Too little to late morone. Told the doctor that it wasn't intentional. If I'm discharged tomorrow, I will be taking more SN. Go to hotel out of area.

I'm so sorry, an awful frustrating experience.

 

[OfficerK]

I'm glad you didn't suffer any serious damage on top of having to go through something so traumatic.

It's of course up to you to decide, but I'd advice against attempting again without using an anti-emetic and an acid reducer.

Is there anything that makes you believe your next attempt will be successful?

Are you certain that you measured up the right amount of SN? Did you use a scale?

 

[Thoughtforms]

Oh no Eden. You've really been through it.
What a mess. I hope you feel better as soon as possible then do what you gotta do from that point on. I'm surprised you're still willing to go through that again, you must be really determinded.
Thank you for updating us, everyone here was worried.

 

[suffering]

I envy your courage and determination. I wish you as little suffering as possible, regardless of what you choose next. Sending hugs!

 

[Eden2k]

I'm glad you didn't suffer any serious damage on top of having to go through something so traumatic.

It's of course up to you to decide, but I'd advice against attempting again without using an anti-emetic and an acid reducer.

Is there anything that makes you believe your next attempt will be successful?

Are you certain that you measured up the right amount of SN? Did you use a scale?

I measured the SN with scales. If I wasn't rushing, I would have took the whole 2kg that I ordered, with me and would have taken more when I hadn't dropped dead yet in the time I thought I would have, instead of experiencing a physical pain that matched my mental pain. My "voices" think this is hilarious. Only way I can shut them up and stop feeling fucking depressed all the time! I know I was close and now know how much more I need to take, along with the anti-nausea meds. It was on impulse. If I had properly planned this and not rushed it then... we'll it would have the outcome I wanted. I won't fail next time.

 

[Ashpac]

The woman that came to speak to me had the nerve to say "why didn't you contact us before it came to this, we are here to help you." Told her to fuck right off. Too little to late morone. Told the doctor that it wasn't intentional. If I'm discharged tomorrow, I will be taking more SN. Go to hotel out of area.

It sucks it didnt work for you.

I did laugh reading the part about telling that woman to fuck off, the way you wrote it sounds like how i would of said it too. It even sounds like Geordie slang in England (where i am from)

Anyways, i hope next time it works for you.

 

[Eden2k]

I'm from north west of England. Some of our slang is very similar to Geordies

 

[Bex83]

This is going to my method now. And northwest mental health services are rubbish. Good luck for your next attempt , think this will be better for me. Hope so anyway

 

[Donewith_]

It's a lot to deal with. Very good to know you haven't suffered any serious outcomes from this and you are alright . Hope things work out in a good way for you.

 

[Deivis]

Uh, sad to hear about your botched attempt, we all hate failures.
Loved the part about you telling that nurse to GFH.

When I'm ready, I'll make sure not to fall into their hands or get committed or locked up.
But if I would, I'll say exactly the same and spit into their eyes like a viper. :) Fuckin degenerate hypocrites!

 

[BurningLights]

 

[lv-gras]

I measured the SN with scales. If I wasn't rushing, I would have took the whole 2kg that I ordered, with me and would have taken more when I hadn't dropped dead yet in the time I thought I would have, instead of experiencing a physical pain that matched my mental pain. My "voices" think this is hilarious. Only way I can shut them up and stop feeling fucking depressed all the time! I know I was close and now know how much more I need to take, along with the anti-nausea meds. It was on impulse. If I had properly planned this and not rushed it then... we'll it would have the outcome I wanted. I won't fail next time.

glad to hear you are not in lockup and are ok.

have you heard of the hearing voices network?

https://muut.com/hvn-england
https://www.hearing-voices.org/

 

[52shriek]

Sorry to hear about your experience. :(

 

[GerMann]

Shit moment, I feel with you. Strange that the hotelstaff had opened the room.
Do you still have any pain in your stomach or somewhere else?

 

[Eden2k]

Mental health team came back to see me again.
After a discussion with the consultant psychiatrist, they feel that it would be in my best interest if I am admitted to a psych hospital, once I am physically well enough to be discharged from where I am now.
The psych doctor hasn't even spoke to me yet.
I told them n to the o (no)
This didn't go down well and I have been told that they have the right to detain me under the mental health act until I am assessed tomorrow morning by a doc and social worker, who will decide if I am admitted involuntarily.
Where the fuck were these people over the last month or so, when I have phoned them, explaining that I was struggling and had made plans to ctb due to how am feeling and being told to phone them back the following week if I was still struggling to cope. Wtf!!!

 

[Arak]

@Eden2k , sorry to hear about this.

I presume this happened because you didn't take antiemetics. Better 'luck' next time ? That's up to you.

'sick' as in nausea ? Any physical pain ?

re: post #19 I don't know UK laws, I get the impression docs can get a wide lattitude.
I would suggest to check your legal rights. Maybe it's best to refuse to speak to a psychiatrist ? I really don't know how the UK handles this.
I don't know the consequences of stating you will refuse to cooperate with the assesment. To me, what's the point of forcibly locking you up ? Docs are arrogant everywhere.

 

[furax53]

in France you can place in psychiatric hospital under duress if you are dangerous for yourself

 

[Eden2k]

@Eden2k , sorry to hear about this.

I presume this happened because you didn't take antiemetics. Better 'luck' next time ? That's up to you.

'sick' as in nausea ? Any physical pain ?

re: post #19 I don't know UK laws, I get the impression docs can get a wide lattitude.
I would suggest to check your legal rights. Maybe it's best to refuse to speak to a psychiatrist ? I really don't know how the UK handles this.
I don't know the consequences of stating you will refuse to cooperate with the assesment. To me, what's the point of forcibly locking you up ? Docs are arrogant everywhere.

From previous experience, if I don't engage with the assessment process, they will just section me and claim I don't have "insight." I hate that word.

 

[TiredHorse]

Sorry to hear it didn't work, but deeply relieved you weren't permanently incapacitated by the attempt.

"Too little too late" --love it! The fuckers always get sore when you won't play their rigged game.

Nothing to do now but play it by ear. My bet is that if they section you, you'll do well to play along and get loose sooner.

 

[GerMann]

That is so typical, now other "Experts" are coming into your life.

 

[Eden2k]

in France you can place in psychiatric hospital under duress if you are dangerous for yourself

It's the same in the U.K. too. Only get admitted against your will if you are a danger to yourself or others.

 

[furax53]

[QUOTE = "Eden2k, post: 145964, member: 4072"] C'est la même chose au Royaume-Uni. Ne soyez admis contre votre volonté que si vous présentez un danger pour vous-même ou pour autrui. [/ QUOTE]
there are who are 1 year stay in psychatric hospital for his

 

[Eden2k]

Sorry to hear it didn't work, but deeply relieved you weren't permanently incapacitated by the attempt.

"Too little too late" --love it! The fuckers always get sore when you won't play their rigged game.

Nothing to do now but play it by ear. My bet is that if they section you, you'll do well to play along and get loose sooner.

I "love" how they act like they are giving me a choice, when they get what they want either way. Me being incarcerated in a hell-hole that isn't therapeutic in the least. I swear to the Gods that nhs/state psych hospitals are enough to give anyone ptsd.

 

[Lara Francis]

Mental health team came back to see me again.
After a discussion with the consultant psychiatrist, they feel that it would be in my best interest if I am admitted to a psych hospital, once I am physically well enough to be discharged from where I am now.
The psych doctor hasn't even spoke to me yet.
I told them n to the o (no)
This didn't go down well and I have been told that they have the right to detain me under the mental health act until I am assessed tomorrow morning by a doc and social worker, who will decide if I am admitted involuntarily.
Where the fuck were these people over the last month or so, when I have phoned them, explaining that I was struggling and had made plans to ctb due to how am feeling and being told to phone them back the following week if I was still struggling to cope. Wtf!!!

I am sorry to hear this.
I hope you are not in too much pain physically.
You did well to neck down the sn as I find its so horrible to taste.
Please take anti emetics beforehand if you are trying again.I got mine from the gp when telling them i had been feeling sick for a few days.
It sounds like they are holding you on an emergency section which they can step up to a section 2 or 3 tomorrow when you see the consultant.i am from the north west too and once you have been hospitalised it can be frustrating trying to get yourself discharged.it is even harder if you are on a section 2 or 3 as you have to go through a tribunal if you want out before they think you are ready.my advice to you would be to agree to stay voluntary so that you will be under less restrictions and keep you head down for a few days and convince them you are OK.They may give you leave off the ward if they think you are improving but don't talk about suicide and play it cool.
I too have been in you position and know how the system works.
Good luck,much love x

 

[Trashcan]

I'm sorry that all happened. It sounded like an awful experience.

If you don't mind me asking, were you in physical pain? If so, how severe was it?

 

[Eden2k]

Last time I was involuntarily admitted, they tried to have me sectioned on a section 3, which is a stay against your will for a period of up to 6-months, after which time, it can be extended for another 6-months and so on. They said if I was sectioned again, then they would apply to the courts to have s community order imposed, which is basically being sectioned in the community. If you don't take your meds or miss any appointments with them, then you will immediately be readmitted to hospital.

 

[Jodes]

I "love" how they act like they are giving me a choice, when they get what they want either way. Me being incarcerated in a hell-hole that isn't therapeutic in the least. I swear to the Gods that nhs/state psych hospitals are enough to give anyone ptsd.

I think it did give me PTSD. And that was a short "voluntary" stay. But what countries gave any more respect for mental health truly anyway