ECT experiences?

[Taki]

Has anyone here ever had ECT? Just wondering what it was like to undergo, and what the outcome was.

 

[lofistos345]

I'm curious about it to. For some it does help.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

I underwent ECT about ten years ago. Six weeks of inpatient confinement, six unilateral and 8 bilateral treatments.

I had suffered from depression for a long time. When I finally went to see a doctor they prescribed a strong anti-depressant and quickly upped the dose. I told him I was suddenly feeling extremely wound up and agitated. So he added anxiety meds to the mix and kept increasing those. I was still depressed...and now agitated...and things were getting more out of control like I was losing my mind. This culminated in a serious (but poorly-planned out) suicide attempt and stay in the psych hospital. There, a doctor finally figured out that I didn't have depression and anxiety, but that I was in fact bi-polar. What the other doctor had treated as anxiety was actually mania that was triggered by giving me anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer. So now I was in a medication-induced mixed-manic episode with high risk of imminent suicide. The doctor felt that only ECT would be able to get me out of this (mis-)medication-induced mess. His plan was to use ECT treatments and then follow up with appropriate anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, and that's what ultimately happened.

I underwent 6 unilateral treatments with little success, so they gave me 8 bilateral treatments which were more effective, but also caused more long term memory loss and short-term confusion. The treatments themselves were quick and painless. Your vitals are checked, the electrodes are attached to your head and an IV is inserted into your arm. They told me to think of something pleasant or beautiful...and within a couple of seconds the short-acting anesthesia knocked me out. That was my absolutely favorite part! Just peacefully and painlessly drifting into oblivion. You don't feel the pulses/shocks at all since you're completely unconscious. The whole procedure only takes a few minutes. They'd then strap you to a wheelchair and take you back to your station where a staff member would keep an eye on you while you wake up, and then just go on with your day.

It's a bit intimidating the first time, but you get quickly used to the routine...and if you're like me, you actually look forward to that sweet moment you drift into unconsciousness. I wonder if that's what heroin or a heroin overdose feel like? Just peaceful painless nothingness while wrapped in a blanket of clouds. Lol.

It definitely was effective for me. I can't say it was a miracle treatment, but it got my brain unscrambled enough to where I could think of things other than killing myself. My mind was clear and I was able to make rational decision about my future. My doctor came up with a anti-depressant and mood stabilizer regiment to keep me stable long term without the need for maintenance ECT. This actually worked really well until recently, when the meds I had been on for 10 years suddenly lost their potency. I'm still in the process of tweaking my meds to find a more effective combo.

Hope this helps answer some of your questions.

 

[k75]

I underwent ECT about ten years ago. Six weeks of inpatient confinement, six unilateral and 8 bilateral treatments.

I had suffered from depression for a long time. When I finally went to see a doctor they prescribed a strong anti-depressant and quickly upped the dose. I told him I was suddenly feeling extremely wound up and agitated. So he added anxiety meds to the mix and kept increasing those. I was still depressed...and now agitated...and things were getting more out of control like I was losing my mind. This culminated in a serious (but poorly-planned out) suicide attempt and stay in the psych hospital. There, a doctor finally figured out that I didn't have depression and anxiety, but that I was in fact bi-polar. What the other doctor had treated as anxiety was actually mania that was triggered by giving me anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer. So now I was in a medication-induced mixed-manic episode with high risk of imminent suicide. The doctor felt that only ECT would be able to get me out of this (mis-)medication-induced mess. His plan was to use ECT treatments and then follow up with appropriate anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, and that's what ultimately happened.

I underwent 6 unilateral treatments with little success, so they gave me 8 bilateral treatments which were more effective, but also caused more long term memory loss and short-term confusion. The treatments themselves were quick and painless. Your vitals are checked, the electrodes are attached to your head and an IV is inserted into your arm. They told me to think of something pleasant or beautiful...and within a couple of seconds the short-acting anesthesia knocked me out. That was my absolutely favorite part! Just peacefully and painlessly drifting into oblivion. You don't feel the pulses/shocks at all since you're completely unconscious. The whole procedure only takes a few minutes. They'd then strap you to a wheelchair and take you back to your station where a staff member would keep an eye on you while you wake up, and then just go on with your day.

It's a bit intimidating the first time, but you get quickly used to the routine...and if you're like me, you actually look forward to that sweet moment you drift into unconsciousness. I wonder if that's what heroin or a heroin overdose feel like? Just peaceful painless nothingness while wrapped in a blanket of clouds. Lol.

It definitely was effective for me. I can't say it was a miracle treatment, but it got my brain unscrambled enough to where I could think of things other than killing myself. My mind was clear and I was able to make rational decision about my future. My doctor came up with a anti-depressant and mood stabilizer regiment to keep me stable long term without the need for maintenance ECT. This actually worked really well until recently, when the meds I had been on for 10 years suddenly lost their potency. I'm still in the process of tweaking my meds to find a more effective combo.

Hope this helps answer some of your questions.

My biggest concern is memory loss and confusion. Did that improve for you?

I'm scheduled for a consultation for ECT, but at this point I have no intention of actually doing it. It's just that it was either I agree to a consultation or getting hospitalized. But it's always scared the crap out of me, and I always said I wouldn't do it.

 

[Misanthrope]

I have not personally had ECT but I saw many clients who had. So I will discuss them. For some, it was honestly like a miracle to them and they returned to their lives and never graced my door again. I saw it bring back someone from near catatonia and had some clients swear by it. Others who had it gained some benefit in the short term but relapsed later even with maintenance therapy. Others gained no benefit at all and lost some memory that added to their distress. Others memory loss remained permanent and others had it return months later.

Like all medicine, it is a gamble because human beings are all unique at the end of the day. There are times medicine does not know the root cause of something. There are many illnesses that exist even now that are not well understood but can still be treated to reduce symptomatology. Sometimes even the why something reduces a symptom is not fully understood, but the efficacy speaks for itself so they go ahead. ECT falls in that domain but has its risks.Those risks should absolutely be discussed with you.

Electroconvulsive therapy: How modern techniques improve patient outcomes: Refinements have decreased memory loss, other adverse effects while retaining efficacy

I'm scheduled for a consultation for ECT, but at this point I have no intention of actually doing it. It's just that it was either I agree to a consultation or getting hospitalized. But it's always scared the crap out of me, and I always said I wouldn't do it.

What the fuck country are you in?! This sounds like using medicine in a coercive manner. That is entirely unacceptable to be threatened that way! It may be worthwhile grabbing yourself a digital voice recorder. Then when interacting with any professional ask if you can record them because your memory is crap and you don't want to forget anything important. It also means you have a record of what has been said. Evidence in this era is king when it comes to getting what you want and making people behave.

 

[k75]

What the fuck country are you in?! This sounds like using medicine in a coercive manner. That is entirely unacceptable to be threatened that way! It may be worthwhile grabbing yourself a digital voice recorder. Then when interacting with any professional ask if you can record them because your memory is crap and you don't want to forget anything important. It also means you have a record of what has been said. Evidence in this era is king when it comes to getting what you want and making people behave.

Ha! I'm in the US. There's a little more to the story, of course, but that's what it boiled down to. We were in a second opinion kind of meeting about what to do with me. I took the path of least resistance.

What really concerns me is this is not the first time ECT has been pushed to me. And in this case, the doctors both told me they had only recommended it for one other patient in their career. The fact that they think it's appropriate for me worries me a lot.

 

[Misanthrope]

Do they consider you treatment resistant at this stage? In the U.K you cannot be forced to have it. Not sure how it works in the states but here they absolutely must have your consent if you show capacity. Since you are typing here you likely have capacity. This forum has been very eye opening to how the states operate, depressingly so. I thought it was bad here... Your fear of memory loss is entirely justified and should be reason enough to refuse as they cannot guarantee that won't occur. Do you already have bad memory? However it does also sound like if they are suggesting this they have already exhausted treatment options.

Question, can you identify what has you feeling so bad?

 

[k75]

Do they consider you treatment resistant at this stage? In the U.K you cannot be forced to have it. Not sure how it works in the states but here they absolutely must have your consent if you show capacity. Since you are typing here you likely have capacity. This forum has been very eye opening to how the states operate, depressingly so. I thought it was bad here... Your fear of memory loss is entirely justified and should be reason enough to refuse as they cannot guarantee that won't occur. Do you already have bad memory? However it does also sound like if they are suggesting this they have already exhausted treatment options.

Question, can you identify what has you feeling so bad?

I was assured that it's strictly a consultation and I'm under no obligation to actually do it, which is the only reason I agreed to go. It has me wondering if I should be more open-minded, since nothing else I've tried has worked.

I'm not treatment resistant, I think, but incredibly difficult at the very least. I'm on lithium, which keeps me alive for now, but nothing touches the depression.

I know mostly what has me feeling like this (most are specific events, but I suspect some is random chemistry), but I don't know how to address it. There's help I need that I'm not getting. I do therapy and meds, but it all falls very short.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

My biggest concern is memory loss and confusion. Did that improve for you?

The confusion and mild cognitive impairment cleared up quickly. The more severe memory loss improved within a couple of months. But some relatively "minor" memory loss remains even a decade later. I don't have any problems retaining new information...but there are large chunks of past memories (some of them years before the ECT treatments that are just GONE. There are entire week-long vacations that I have zero memory of. Someone else will talk about our trip, and I'd be like "Wait! We went to Paris together??" Or I'll look at old pictures and I have zero recollection of anything surrounding those pics. "Wait! I dressed up as a bumblebee for Halloween?? Interesting." I'm sure there are lots of other memories that have been wiped out...but I wouldn't know. Lol.

Some people WANT to undergo ECT in hopes of wiping out their bad/traumatic memories, but sadly that's not how it works. You don't get to pick and choose...and unfortunately I remember most (but maybe not all?) of my past trauma.

Overall, I'd say that for me it was absolutely worth it at the time! I was so messed up from the wrong meds that ECT was truly a life saver. It yielded positive results a heck of a lot quicker than psych meds would have done. It was like starting with a clean slate and normal, rational thinking. Then the correct meds were added to maintain that state. Like I mentioned before, I was stable for the last ten years. Not "HAPPY", mind you. I still have a shit ton of trauma and very real life issues to struggle with...but as far as brain-chemistry goes I was in a good, stable place. IF I were to ctb now, it would be due to the unfixable life issues, not because of mental illness.

I'm scheduled for a consultation for ECT, but at this point I have no intention of actually doing it. It's just that it was either I agree to a consultation or getting hospitalized. But it's always scared the crap out of me, and I always said I wouldn't do it.

There obviously are risks involved (ranging from very mild to potentially severe in rare cases), but I'd encourage you to make the most of that consultation. Go in with an open mind, ask questions, listen to their answers, be honest about your current state of mind, and open about your concerns. I doubt they'll make you decide on the spot. Just go home and think about it, maybe do more research if other questions come up after the consultation. I'm not trying to steer you one way or another...but I want you to be open to the possibility that this might be a real game changer for you. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you!

 

[Sensei]

I'm sorry, I have no experience to share. I've asked about ECT, but I wasn't deemed qualified. However, I had this conversation with a psychiatrist, a good fellow.

This actually worked really well until recently, when the meds I had been on for 10 years suddenly lost their potency. I'm still in the process of tweaking my meds to find a more effective combo.

Sorry to go off on a tangent here, but I have a similar experience. My medication, consisting of an anitdepressant and a mood stabilizer, suddenly and unexpectedly stopped working two years ago. The neurobiology of bipolar disorder is admittedly very complicated and still unknown in many respects, but I still find it very odd that the "chemical wiring" can change so fast. I've literally read hundreds of studies on bipolar disorder, but I've never found even a suggestion of an explanation.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

Sorry to go off on a tangent here, but I have a similar experience. My medication, consisting of an anitdepressant and a mood stabilizer, suddenly and unexpectedly stopped working two years ago. The neurobiology of bipolar disorder is admittedly very complicated and still unknown in many respects, but I still find it very odd that the "chemical wiring" can change so fast. I've literally read hundreds of studies on bipolar disorder, but I've never found even a suggestion of an explanation.

I found the only "explanations" to be pretty insulting. They either 1) accuse us of not taking our medication as prescribed, or 2) suggest we're just imagining that the meds don't work anymore, or 3) suggest that psych meds only have a placebo effect, so they never did anything for us in the first place.

I have never missed a dose of my meds, never took more or less than prescribed, never mixed it with other meds, drugs or alcohol. There's nothing I did that would cause them to stop working properly. So it must be some chemical, biological or hormonal change that I have no control over. For what it's worth, my psychiatrist didn't doubt me. She said many of her patients have reported the same experience, but she does not have a scientific explanation for it either. She tried to add another med to "augment" my current meds, but the side effects were bad. Tried another med and that had unacceptable side effects as well. We settled on gradually increasing the dosage of both of my current meds. There's been some improvement, so maybe that's the way to go. I'm terrified of "experimenting" with any more meds because you never know how they will affect you. I'm just really disheartened and frustrated because I lost that stability.

 

[Sensei]

I have never missed a dose of my meds, never took more or less than prescribed, never mixed it with other meds, drugs or alcohol. There's nothing I did that would cause them to stop working properly. So it must be some chemical, biological or hormonal change that I have no control over. For what it's worth, my psychiatrist didn't doubt me. She said many of her patients have reported the same experience, but she does not have a scientific explanation for it either. She tried to add another med to "augment" my current meds, but the side effects were bad. Tried another med and that had unacceptable side effects as well. We settled on gradually increasing the dosage of both of my current meds. There's been some improvement, so maybe that's the way to go. I'm terrified of "experimenting" with any more meds because you never know how they will affect you. I'm just really disheartened and frustrated because I lost that stability.

Almost exactly my story. My medication has been changed, though. From citalopram + lamotrigine (worked fine for eight years, give or take), to lamotrigine in monotherapy (a disaster, lead to two suicide attempts, at least indirectly), to lamotrigine + lithium (works fairly well, fewer depressive episodes). Contrary to you, I don't fear "experimenting" that much. I prefer being an emotionless robot, a drugged zombie, or a cold corpse to what I had to go through in 2018.

 

[Taki]

I underwent ECT about ten years ago. Six weeks of inpatient confinement, six unilateral and 8 bilateral treatments.

I had suffered from depression for a long time. When I finally went to see a doctor they prescribed a strong anti-depressant and quickly upped the dose. I told him I was suddenly feeling extremely wound up and agitated. So he added anxiety meds to the mix and kept increasing those. I was still depressed...and now agitated...and things were getting more out of control like I was losing my mind. This culminated in a serious (but poorly-planned out) suicide attempt and stay in the psych hospital. There, a doctor finally figured out that I didn't have depression and anxiety, but that I was in fact bi-polar. What the other doctor had treated as anxiety was actually mania that was triggered by giving me anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer. So now I was in a medication-induced mixed-manic episode with high risk of imminent suicide. The doctor felt that only ECT would be able to get me out of this (mis-)medication-induced mess. His plan was to use ECT treatments and then follow up with appropriate anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, and that's what ultimately happened.

I underwent 6 unilateral treatments with little success, so they gave me 8 bilateral treatments which were more effective, but also caused more long term memory loss and short-term confusion. The treatments themselves were quick and painless. Your vitals are checked, the electrodes are attached to your head and an IV is inserted into your arm. They told me to think of something pleasant or beautiful...and within a couple of seconds the short-acting anesthesia knocked me out. That was my absolutely favorite part! Just peacefully and painlessly drifting into oblivion. You don't feel the pulses/shocks at all since you're completely unconscious. The whole procedure only takes a few minutes. They'd then strap you to a wheelchair and take you back to your station where a staff member would keep an eye on you while you wake up, and then just go on with your day.

It's a bit intimidating the first time, but you get quickly used to the routine...and if you're like me, you actually look forward to that sweet moment you drift into unconsciousness. I wonder if that's what heroin or a heroin overdose feel like? Just peaceful painless nothingness while wrapped in a blanket of clouds. Lol.

It definitely was effective for me. I can't say it was a miracle treatment, but it got my brain unscrambled enough to where I could think of things other than killing myself. My mind was clear and I was able to make rational decision about my future. My doctor came up with a anti-depressant and mood stabilizer regiment to keep me stable long term without the need for maintenance ECT. This actually worked really well until recently, when the meds I had been on for 10 years suddenly lost their potency. I'm still in the process of tweaking my meds to find a more effective combo.

Hope this helps answer some of your questions.

Very helpful. Thanks.

 

[Misanthrope]

For the OP. We don't live in the era of Hemingway any more.

There obviously are risks involved (ranging from very mild to potentially severe in rare cases), but I'd encourage you to make the most of that consultation. Go in with an open mind, ask questions, listen to their answers, be honest about your current state of mind, and open about your concerns. I doubt they'll make you decide on the spot. Just go home and think about it, maybe do more research if other questions come up after the consultation. I'm not trying to steer you one way or another...but I want you to be open to the possibility that this might be a real game changer for you. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you!

Could not have said this better. Like I said, for some clients it was a positive life changing risk to take. It lifted them out the depression enough they could pursue other avenues to address personal mental baggage, or gain energy enough to find ways out of toxic environments. Or the chronic malaise was just simply gone. It is a risk though. What worked for them may not work for you, unique brains, unique responses, so unique outcomes and no promise of a lasting one.

I know mostly what has me feeling like this (most are specific events, but I suspect some is random chemistry), but I don't know how to address it. There's help I need that I'm not getting. I do therapy and meds, but it all falls very short.

If your back is against a wall and it is a choice between death and ECT. May be worth taking that risk as death in my view is the end of all potential. So you may as well exhaust what does have potential. Because death as a choice is not going anywhere. However thats is just my own logic at work, which has served me well. Take from it what you will.

Another important thing to do that is often neglected by services is to rule out physical issues. You may have done that already. But all these drugs are hard on the body, so if you feel particularly worse now, might be worth re-investigating.

What specific therapy? If you are alluding to trauma some therapies are more statistically effective there than others. But it is still a gamble on the competence of the therapist and if you can build enough rapport or even afford it. A good therapist will arm you with tools to take away with you. I can personally thank two therapists in my life. My being on this site does not invalidate their work. A bad therapist, however comforting, just arms you with dependence. At the same time though you have an almost cultist like mentality around therapies. So much so they are being applied to disorders they were not designed for in ways that fall outside of what has efficacy. With an undercurrent of blame culture when it does not work for you. 'Maybe you don't want to get better...'

My medication, consisting of an anitdepressant and a mood stabilizer, suddenly and unexpectedly stopped working two years ago. The neurobiology of bipolar disorder is admittedly very complicated and still unknown in many respects, but I still find it very odd that the "chemical wiring" can change so fast. I've literally read hundreds of studies on bipolar disorder, but I've never found even a suggestion of an explanation.

Nothing too odd about it. There are ghosts of intriguing patterns when it comes to bipolar and other disorders but nothing useful for us but exciting for researchers. Like microbes of the gut. The discovery of a new pain sensing organ. The intriguing links with epilepsy and bipolar being explored. The fascinating reams of data coming out of the largest brain study ever done in history. Medicine just fails forward and we are the guinea pigs that sometimes become collateral along the way. The price of progress I guess.

I found the only "explanations" to be pretty insulting. They either 1) accuse us of not taking our medication as prescribed, or 2) suggest we're just imagining that the meds don't work anymore, or 3) suggest that psych meds only have a placebo effect, so they never did anything for us in the first place.

They maybe need to hit the books again then. Building up a tolerance to a medication to the point it becomes ineffective is a well established occurrence. Which has no bearing on the patient though. Unless the they are doing 1. It is not unique to psychiatric pharmacology either. It is pretty much to be considered in the long term. Ten years is a good run though. I am glad you could have that at least.

It is all risk sadly, ECT, medication, putting on your underpants and hoping not to add yourself to the statistics of underpants related injuries. Such is life...

 

[k75]

If your back is against a wall and it is a choice between death and ECT. May be worth taking that risk as death in my view is the end of all potential. So you may as well exhaust what does have potential. Because death as a choice is not going anywhere. However thats is just my own logic at work, which has served me well. Take from it what you will.

Another important thing to do that is often neglected by services is to rule out physical issues. You may have done that already. But all these drugs are hard on the body, so if you feel particularly worse now, might be worth re-investigating.

What specific therapy? If you are alluding to trauma some therapies are more statistically effective there than others. But it is still a gamble on the competence of the therapist and if you can build enough rapport or even afford it. A good therapist will arm you with tools to take away with you. I can personally thank two therapists in my life. My being on this site does not invalidate their work. A bad therapist, however comforting, just arms you with dependence. At the same time though you have an almost cultist like mentality around therapies. So much so they are being applied to disorders they were not designed for in ways that fall outside of what has efficacy. With an undercurrent of blame culture when it does not work for you. 'Maybe you don't want to get better...'

I really appreciate you taking so much time to talk to me about this.

I've always seen ECT as a last resort. I agreed to go to the consultation and intend to ask many questions to educate myself further, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. A few months ago, I might have said something entirely different, because I was so close to the end. Someone told me to look into EMDR, which I think is intriguing. The place I go for counseling doesn't do that, though. I'm searching for a provider. I also want to explore TMS.

It's interesting you mentioned physical issues. Last week, my therapist became aware of some chronic health problems I have that I just didn't think to mention to her. It basically caused her to stop everything and decide we should attempt to get me more help for those instead. She told me usually, good therapy begins with ruling out physical problems that might be causing your symptoms, but we kind of glossed over that because I never said anything. Oops! I'm willing to pursue this, but I don't expect much to change.

I do know I haven't been getting the correct type of therapy for some of my stuff. I have complicated grief and PTSD, as well as anxiety and depression. I need someone who specializes in that sort of thing, I believe. The roadblock I keep running into is the ones who seem like a good fit are not taking new patients or don't take my insurance.
My current therapist does CBT, which I don't really like. But I'm comfortable with my therapist and trust her, so I'm hesitant to change. It's difficult deciding what to do. I'm at least sticking with her until she decides she can't help me (which has happened in the past... this is my second attempt with her) or I find someone else.

 

[hatelife]

I had it, several times, 10 times in 2011 then now 6 times and more to come this week, anyhow im gonna kill myself hopefully soon so It did not work, Im just trying to find strenght.

 

[mathieu]

I had it done a few years ago. My psychiatrist thought it worked. Idk. I feel like it's been harder to enjoy anything since then. I'm suicidal now so idk if it had any lasting benefit. I felt nice as I went under the aneasthetic. I had memory loss around the time I had it but no ongoing issues.

 

[Sensei]

Nothing too odd about it. There are ghosts of intriguing patterns when it comes to bipolar and other disorders but nothing useful for us but exciting for researchers. Like microbes of the gut. The discovery of a new pain sensing organ. The intriguing links with epilepsy and bipolar being explored. The fascinating reams of data coming out of the largest brain study ever done in history. Medicine just fails forward and we are the guinea pigs that sometimes become collateral along the way. The price of progress I guess.

Fascinating! I've literally read hundreds of studies, but this is all new to me. I could discuss this for hours, but I shan't hijack this thread any further. Misanthrope, you're a very empathetic and knowledgable person and I'm glad you're here with us.

 

[marriedindeed]

I haven't experienced it personally, but I have seen the before and after effects while staying on a psych ward. The patient in question was wheelchair bound, constantly rocking back and forth, and repeating various phrases. After one ECT session she was up and walking, not rocking back and forth when sitting, and not repeating herself, i.e there was a significant improvement.

NB: I'm not claiming ECT miraculously "cured" someone who was unable to walk due to a physical disability.

I spoke to one of the psych nurses about what I had seen, and it turned out she was staff member who carried out the treatment. She explained ECT has a bad reputation because of how it was carried out in the past, and how ECT is portrayed in films doesn't help either. Now the treatment is coming back into "fashion" because it has been refined - in other words they have a better understanding. Apparently the idea for ECT came about because depressed patients, who were also epileptic, would improve after having a seizure. So in essence each ECT session attempts to create the effects of an epileptic fit.

After the experiences on the ward, and not finding medication which worked, I requested ECT. However I was turned down as it wasn't appropriate to my type of depression.

 

[dandan]

Yes and it did work, for a short period of time, It only cause memory issues in my case, and whatever it is that I can't remember, but I really don't remember if it changed a thing except for the short term, well undoubtedly memory issues.

Can't approve or disapprove, it was an alternative to suicide, so I guess it was a good choice.

 

[Bleak Stoic]

Lots of good information here, thanks guys.

For the past 3 years I've been thinking about ECT as well. But it is not offered anywhere in my state. Plus... I feel pretty confident in my decision that this life just isn't for me.

 

[Mm80]

Do they consider you treatment resistant at this stage? In the U.K you cannot be forced to have it. Not sure how it works in the states but here they absolutely must have your consent if you show capacity. Since you are typing here you likely have capacity. This forum has been very eye opening to how the states operate, depressingly so. I thought it was bad here... Your fear of memory loss is entirely justified and should be reason enough to refuse as they cannot guarantee that won't occur. Do you already have bad memory? However it does also sound like if they are suggesting this they have already exhausted treatment options.

Question, can you identify what has you feeling so bad?

Misanthonthrope apologies for interrupting the thread but it sounds like you know your stuff about how things work in the uk. Can i pm you for some advice pls ?

 

[Misanthrope]

I really appreciate you taking so much time to talk to me about this.

I've always seen ECT as a last resort. I agreed to go to the consultation and intend to ask many questions to educate myself further, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. A few months ago, I might have said something entirely different, because I was so close to the end. Someone told me to look into EMDR, which I think is intriguing. The place I go for counseling doesn't do that, though. I'm searching for a provider. I also want to explore TMS.

It's interesting you mentioned physical issues. Last week, my therapist became aware of some chronic health problems I have that I just didn't think to mention to her. It basically caused her to stop everything and decide we should attempt to get me more help for those instead. She told me usually, good therapy begins with ruling out physical problems that might be causing your symptoms, but we kind of glossed over that because I never said anything. Oops! I'm willing to pursue this, but I don't expect much to change.

I do know I haven't been getting the correct type of therapy for some of my stuff. I have complicated grief and PTSD, as well as anxiety and depression. I need someone who specializes in that sort of thing, I believe. The roadblock I keep running into is the ones who seem like a good fit are not taking new patients or don't take my insurance.
My current therapist does CBT, which I don't really like. But I'm comfortable with my therapist and trust her, so I'm hesitant to change. It's difficult deciding what to do. I'm at least sticking with her until she decides she can't help me (which has happened in the past... this is my second attempt with her) or I find someone else.

It is sensible to rule out physical health issues. The warning signs of some physical illnesses can manifest with symptoms that look like depression or other mood disorders. It's why it is meant to be the basics to rule out physical health issues. But that step is so often missed in favour of handing out antidepressants and telling the person to come back in two weeks. Lazy and all too common and it has ramifications. Sigh.

The different therapies are like vehicles. CBT is a practical workhorse like a tractor. It is designed to assist you to identify the weeds in your field in the present. Spray them with weed killer. Then enable you to plant potatoes instead of continuing to plant weeds.

But it is not a Delorean time machine complete with wild-haired Emmet Brown. With the intent to drive whatever your Biff bully is into manure in the hopes you can leave them there. That falls more within analytical therapies. Like C.A.T - Trauma-focused therapies, there are quite a few, or EMDR which is a little bit different. Anyway, I am aware I am taking up the thread. If you want to continue this feel free to start a private conversation. As your last two sentences prompt a little concern.

Peace.