V
versea
Member
- Sep 12, 2021
- 15
and Im too much of a coward for the more painful and risky ones.
helium has gotten scarce here. talked to a bunch of stores and they said they have "baloon gas" not helium. some of them say its a mix of helium and hydrogen the others dont even say what it is. even if I get helium the oven bag is not available here.
dont have drugstore friends to get barbiturates or the other pills.
might be able to get aluminium phosphide in black market but it will be like rat poison. painful and long lasting suicide with a high chance of discovery before death.
guns arent available here. it wouldve been so easy. traumatizing scene for the people who discover my body but worth it.
jumping in front of a subway has a low chance of dying and requires balls.
I know for a fact that nothing will help me. Ive made my decision. I just cant do it. already have destroyed some bridges behind me. I dont wanna live, no matter how I think about it its the most rational decision Ive made in my life even though currently Im not stable mentally. its gonna happen and I rather it to be sooner than later.
any suggestions? would hydrogen+helium work or does it have to be pure helium? seems like my best bet is hanging as soon as I get the courage to do it.
helium has gotten scarce here. talked to a bunch of stores and they said they have "baloon gas" not helium. some of them say its a mix of helium and hydrogen the others dont even say what it is. even if I get helium the oven bag is not available here.
dont have drugstore friends to get barbiturates or the other pills.
might be able to get aluminium phosphide in black market but it will be like rat poison. painful and long lasting suicide with a high chance of discovery before death.
guns arent available here. it wouldve been so easy. traumatizing scene for the people who discover my body but worth it.
jumping in front of a subway has a low chance of dying and requires balls.
I know for a fact that nothing will help me. Ive made my decision. I just cant do it. already have destroyed some bridges behind me. I dont wanna live, no matter how I think about it its the most rational decision Ive made in my life even though currently Im not stable mentally. its gonna happen and I rather it to be sooner than later.
any suggestions? would hydrogen+helium work or does it have to be pure helium? seems like my best bet is hanging as soon as I get the courage to do it.
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