![fleetingnight](/data/avatars/l/92/92823.jpg?1714813792)
fleetingnight
incapable of shutting up
- May 2, 2024
- 543
I hate how I'm easily manipulated
I fell for "it's okay, you can be honest about how you feel" again. I don't know how I still fall for that all the time. I know it's never true.
I didn't confess being suicidal, but I told them about something in my personal life that was causing me stress, because they wanted to know. Of course that was a stupid thing to say. All I did was show weakness that they can take advantage of now. I know some people would say this is paranoid or cynical, but it's just the way things are for me. I don't think it's "cynical" to notice real patterns of behavior against me. That just seems logical to me.
I don't know how I'm still so naive, though. I know better, so why do I give ppl the benefit of the doubt anyways? What's wrong with me to keep going against my own insticts and experiences? Am I really so impressionable that if someone says "you can trust me :)" I always listen and trust them? I know that's manipulation to use my personal life against me, so why did I tell them?
I really act like such a fucking idiot sometimes. I wish I knew how to change that. I shouldn't need something repeated a hundred times for me to learn it.
I fell for "it's okay, you can be honest about how you feel" again. I don't know how I still fall for that all the time. I know it's never true.
I didn't confess being suicidal, but I told them about something in my personal life that was causing me stress, because they wanted to know. Of course that was a stupid thing to say. All I did was show weakness that they can take advantage of now. I know some people would say this is paranoid or cynical, but it's just the way things are for me. I don't think it's "cynical" to notice real patterns of behavior against me. That just seems logical to me.
I don't know how I'm still so naive, though. I know better, so why do I give ppl the benefit of the doubt anyways? What's wrong with me to keep going against my own insticts and experiences? Am I really so impressionable that if someone says "you can trust me :)" I always listen and trust them? I know that's manipulation to use my personal life against me, so why did I tell them?
I really act like such a fucking idiot sometimes. I wish I knew how to change that. I shouldn't need something repeated a hundred times for me to learn it.