Method easily accessible and not-excruciatingly-painful ctb

[dissolvedgirl]

hi everyone been a while since i posted on here many things have happened since my last extreme low in 2020 lots of highs lots of downs lots of beauty lots of misery lots of love for life lots of suicide attempts and now i am back to a state where i cant feel happiness at all, not even a daily five second smile or anything. i feel massively unfulfilled in my life. i do the same things everyday. everyone out there is so much better than i am. and i have no friends. everyone online is just a massive blur of people who don't care about me. my medications work from time to time but not always. for the first time in my life i genuinely want to seek out therapy but no options are available to me.

i don't want to live in this sick fucking joke anymore. i don't want to feel pain. i come here because i am too tired to do any of the research myself. give me an easy relatively tolerable way to kill myself. the last time i was on here i dreamed for days on end about the satisfying endless pain relief of mexican dog euthanasia pills like the rest of you, but i'm done with imaginary scenarios and i need something that i could actually pull off. for years the only doable method i could think of is the nearby bridge, but i find this to be plain cruel to the folks who'd see my splattered body, the photos people would take, and my family who drive past and along the bridge every day. hanging myself also seems rather not ideal, i don't trust myself to not fuck up the physics and i wouldn't want a relative to discover the body. walking in front of traffic seems unreliable.

anything u folks can think of? i live near a train depot as well...

 

[Captive_Mind515]

There are no perfect methods. If you put the work and research in, you can set up something reasonably tolerable. Perhaps carbon monoxide poisoning in a car with some sleeping pills would be the easiest to set up for many people.

 

[dissolvedgirl]

carbon monoxide that's a good one hadnt thought of that!

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide just isn't easy, I wish there is a really straightforward, guaranteed method to just instantly find peace from all the suffering that existing brings, it would be so relieving if that's the case.
But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, if I had an easy answer to the question I'd be long gone by this point, all that anyone can do with methods is do their own research which is why the suicide resource compilation is there. Deciding on any method depends on the individual and what they can access, it's so dreadful to me how we cannot just easily free ourselves from this existence.