LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
I'm pretty done with life. I'm a nursing student at one of the toughest nursing schools in the US and they are killing me. I went through a trauma in November. My sisters baby was born dead in December and is now kind of alive but she's totally gone from my life so I lost her. My parents judge my every move and are so mean to me. I have no support except for my therapist and all my medications. Dated a narcissistic sociopath for a while who fucked with my head terribly and cheated on me in front of my face with someone who I thought was my friend while I was doing a 12min speech in front of over 100+ people. I have been so damn depressed for so long and I just can't take this anymore.
Does anyone have any tips for a quick, cheap, and easy way to end life? With COVID-19 getting materials is difficult (so maybe using household items). I kinda plan to end this all tonight.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
I'm pretty done with life. I'm a nursing student at one of the toughest nursing schools in the US and they are killing me. I went through a trauma in November. My sisters baby was born dead in December and is now kind of alive but she's totally gone from my life so I lost her. My parents judge my every move and are so mean to me. I have no support except for my therapist and all my medications. Dated a narcissistic sociopath for a while who fucked with my head terribly and cheated on me in front of my face with someone who I thought was my friend while I was doing a 12min speech in front of over 100+ people. I have been so damn depressed for so long and I just can't take this anymore.
Does anyone have any tips for a quick, cheap, and easy way to end life? With COVID-19 getting materials is difficult (so maybe using household items). I kinda plan to end this all tonight.
Hey I'm VERY sorry for what you went through, sure sounds like he'll ); and I wouldn't be able to go through. Do you have privacy?no method is "quick and easy". Maybe hanging can work, all you need is a rope and a place
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
Hey I'm VERY sorry for what you went through, sure sounds like he'll ); and I wouldn't be able to go through. Do you have privacy?no method is "quick and easy". Maybe hanging can work, all you need is a rope and a place
I'm not alone but I have my own room will it be loud?
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
Just you can be found within like the next couple hours
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
If you know you won't then alright!
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
I'm no professional because this isn't my method. In the resource completion and the search bar, there is help on how to hang properly
 
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Dora192

Dora192

Member
Sep 29, 2019
17
Ok so I am completely pro choice and wouldn't ever try and talk someone out of CTB, and I really do understand to the best of my ability that life is kicking you right in the vagina at the moment and you see no way out... However, I wouldn't be able to rest if I didn't speak my mind.

You are a student nurse, in what you have said is one of the toughest programs, that to me tells me that you are a very clever person and have the intense capability to care for others, so please think about that.

Fuck your shitty ex boyfriend who is lower than pond scum, fuck your so-called best friend, and screw your parents right now.

I remember going through my years of schooling (MANY years) and thinking to myself, what the fuck am I doing?! This is hell on earth having to deal with some of the evilest and depraved people that you could possibly imagine, having my father moan on at me about why couldn't I have just chosen an "easy" degree which resulted in an immediate job, instead of having to continue years at uni, as well as horrifically losing the love of my life in a car accident, which resulted in me being put into the self-same hospital that I have recently been employed at ha!
I many times wanted out so badly, but I stuck at it and now I help people as best as I can and I feel like my life right now is worth something.

Of course, if your mind is made up, then I sincerely wish you every bit of luck and peace in stepping over, I just don't think I could sleep if I hadn't shared with you my similar experience with you.

All my love ❤
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
Ok so I am completely pro choice and wouldn't ever try and talk someone out of CTB, and I really do understand to the best of my ability that life is kicking you right in the vagina at the moment and you see no way out... However, I wouldn't be able to rest if I didn't speak my mind.

You are a student nurse, in what you have said is one of the toughest programs, that to me tells me that you are a very clever person and have the intense capability to care for others, so please think about that.

Fuck your shitty ex boyfriend who is lower than pond scum, fuck your so-called best friend, and screw your parents right now.

I remember going through my years of schooling (MANY years) and thinking to myself, what the fuck am I doing?! This is hell on earth having to deal with some of the evilest and depraved people that you could possibly imagine, having my father moan on at me about why couldn't I have just chosen an "easy" degree which resulted in an immediate job, instead of having to continue years at uni, as well as horrifically losing the love of my life in a car accident, which resulted in me being put into the self-same hospital that I have recently been employed at ha!
I many times wanted out so badly, but I stuck at it and now I help people as best as I can and I feel like my life right now is worth something.

Of course, if your mind is made up, then I sincerely wish you every bit of luck and peace in stepping over, I just don't think I could sleep if I hadn't shared with you my similar experience with you.

All my love ❤
You're so so sweet thank you! I attempted to step over when I was 17 and would've succeeded if I wasn't found. So I waited years I am now 23 and feel way worse than I did then. I'm calm and happy and excited to step over. I think my mind is made up /:
 
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B

Blutsager

Experienced
Mar 11, 2020
220
LilBird, first and foremost I am sorry to hear of all your suffering. And that it has come to this.

Know that I support you on your decision to CTB, as will everyone on this server, but also that I please ask of you, to take more time to consider. You seem to be in a hurry, and many times those who do this in a rushed fashion regret it at their last moment. This end is something you must mentally prepare for, to fully understand and embrace the deicison you are about to take.

This ties with my next point: if you wanna end it all, I assure you, if your mind is fully set into it, if you truly feel it, you will fear no pain. Many methods can be rather peaceful, even if not the most popular ones, as long as you mentally prepare for what lies ahead of you. Hanging, jumping, shooting... many are effective ways to end it all if you know what you are doing... and it can be peaceful if you are mentally prepare for what is about to happen.

I wish it doesn't come to this, but if it does... we all support you and love you. Best of luck. Should you decide to stay, I wish you happiness on this earth. And should you decide to leave... I wish you nothing, for I know you shall find peace.
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
LilBird, first and foremost I am sorry to hear of all your suffering. And that it has come to this.

Know that I support you on your decision to CTB, as will everyone on this server, but also that I please ask of you, to take more time to consider. You seem to be in a hurry, and many times those who do this in a rushed fashion regret it at their last moment. This end is something you must mentally prepare for, to fully understand and embrace the deicison you are about to take.

This ties with my next point: if you wanna end it all, I assure you, if your mind is fully set into it, if you truly feel it, you will fear no pain. Many methods can be rather peaceful, even if not the most popular ones, as long as you mentally prepare for what lies ahead of you. Hanging, jumping, shooting... many are effective ways to end it all if you know what you are doing... and it can be peaceful if you are mentally prepare for what is about to happen.

I wish it doesn't come to this, but if it does... we all support you and love you. Best of luck. Should you decide to stay, I wish you happiness on this earth. And should you decide to leave... I wish you nothing, for I know you shall find peace.
Thank you so much I love you too!! I have been thinking about this for years.. so this isn't new. I've gotten to a point where I can only count the good things as... "oh it's raining, rain is good. I see birds.. birds are good". And I haven't felt any good feelings for a few years now and everything just gets worse. I have no support and no love from my surroundings in reality and I cannot continue much further anymore. It's gone from just get through this month through just get through this week... just get through the day... now hour.. now minute.
 
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T

tothemoon

Member
Aug 5, 2019
76
If anyone was to ask me "Why shouldn't I kill myself". It means they probably have no reason to live.And, they're probably right. But hear is what I would tell them "The real question youre asking is, why shouldn't you try?" We've all tried it, and we're still here. So, I would just relax tonight, try to re-assess. Maybe set a date out 90 days from now if you want. Doing it hastily can lead to problems. I'm not trying to lessen your pain but stastically speaking you will try and still survive. On a related note, have you thought about going off your meds? Meds almost certainly just make us worse. HOWEVER, going off of them can lead to horrific withdrawal as well so...it's a catch 22.
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
If anyone was to ask me "Why shouldn't I kill myself". It means they probably have no reason to live.And, they're probably right. But hear is what I would tell them "The real question youre asking is, why shouldn't you try?" We've all tried it, and we're still here. So, I would just relax tonight, try to re-assess. Maybe set a date out 90 days from now if you want. Doing it hastily can lead to problems. I'm not trying to lessen your pain but stastically speaking you will try and still survive. On a related note, have you thought about going off your meds? Meds almost certainly just make us worse. HOWEVER, going off of them can lead to horrific withdrawal as well so...it's a catch 22.
Yes I've gone off and on my meds before and switched them many times nothing helps and this thought isn't new.
 
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Blutsager

Experienced
Mar 11, 2020
220
Thank you so much I love you too!! I have been thinking about this for years.. so this isn't new. I've gotten to a point where I can only count the good things as... "oh it's raining, rain is good. I see birds.. birds are good". And I haven't felt any good feelings for a few years now and everything just gets worse. I have no support and no love from my surroundings in reality and I cannot continue much further anymore. It's gone from just get through this month through just get through this week... just get through the day... now hour.. now minute.

I am sorry to hear that. And I fully understand. If this is the case then... well, the resource section if full of great information to help you find the best method for you.
But remember, above everything else, the most important element of this process is not the knowledge nor the resources: it's your mind. If you are ready for this, if you know this is what you want, and not a single drop of doubt flows through your veins, then no method will be bad for you. For all suffering is temporary, and what awaits us on the other side is eternal peace. So any way you decide to go off with will simply represent a temporary effort to reach a beautiful eternal peace.

We'll meet there one day. I hope, if you leave before I do, you look down on me and wait for me. I would love to meet you there for you to tell me of all the little things that helped you go on with your days on this earth. Sounds like beautiful little things.
 
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pebpebpebpeb

pebpebpebpeb

i have no enemies
Apr 1, 2020
184
I'm pretty done with life. I'm a nursing student at one of the toughest nursing schools in the US and they are killing me. I went through a trauma in November. My sisters baby was born dead in December and is now kind of alive but she's totally gone from my life so I lost her. My parents judge my every move and are so mean to me. I have no support except for my therapist and all my medications. Dated a narcissistic sociopath for a while who fucked with my head terribly and cheated on me in front of my face with someone who I thought was my friend while I was doing a 12min speech in front of over 100+ people. I have been so damn depressed for so long and I just can't take this anymore.
Does anyone have any tips for a quick, cheap, and easy way to end life? With COVID-19 getting materials is difficult (so maybe using household items). I kinda plan to end this all tonight.
i dont want to seem to be encouraging you but belt/rope and a door perhaps.
take the hanging item and tie it around the door knob, then swing it over the top of the door and hang frm there. most belts will be too short though
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Apparently, the hanged body thrashes about in death, but not too loudly.

Not to be argumentative, but thrashing isn't a quiet kind of action.

There is a video on the hanging megathread of a guy who live streamed his partial, and his body thrashed. The noise will depend on what objects the body is near - walls, floors, etc.

_________

I just want to say, folks are pretty close to crossing the line in this thread regarding encouraging ctb. It's one thing to recommend a megathread, but giving a how-to when someone is wanting to ctb right now and not in the process of thoughtfully planning is really pushing the boundaries of what's okay here and what's not. We are all responsible for our own choices and actions, and if the OP is choosing this action, my opinion is that she's got to be responsible for figuring it out for herself, not having it figured out for her.

I have a lot of compassion for all the pain and suffering that has led up to this moment. I also have compassion for needing a method that is safe and effective, and conscientious planning is what leads to such an outcome, not relying on a bunch of strangers on the internet for quick answers. It's dangerous for her, and it's not safe for the forum either.

:heart:
 
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P

Pan

Paragon
Oct 24, 2019
914
In no way, respectfully, am I encouraging ctb. I merely rely on data supplied. In one video, for example, no thrashing was observed at all; in yet another, mild thrashing about. Full suspension hanging, from what I plan on, is "safe and effective". This is my own plan alone. If the topic of ctb cannot be discussed openly and honestly, what is the ultimate purpose of this site?
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
In no way, respectfully, am I encouraging ctb. I merely rely on data supplied. In one video, for example, no thrashing was observed at all; in yet another, mild thrashing about. Full suspension hanging, from what I plan on, is "safe and effective". This is my own plan alone. If the topic of ctb cannot be discussed openly and honestly, what is the ultimate purpose of this site?

I wasn't directing the second part of my comment at you, that's why I put a line in my comment to separate what I was saying to you and to others. Your comment was not a how-to.

The way the site is set up, I couldn't post two separate comments, I had to put them both in one. My apologies for not clarifying that the second part wasn't directed at you.
 
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