Venting Dystopian societies and mental health treatment

[Sundayafternoon]

A Brave New World. This Perfect Day. The giver. The wanting seed. 1984. The World Inside.

And countless other novels and movies that depict one or a group of ones that realize something is not right with the world they live in.

They may start to ask questions, challenge the establishment, isolate themselves, or attempt to escape. No matter how they react, society or the powers at be, immediately label the detractors as "sick".
Time to up those treatments! Or lock your ass up because you're a danger to yourself and no one wants to deal with your negativity.

I'm clumsy. I'm always a danger to myself!

Now there's the new push for "mental health" awareness. With no real conversation around what constitutes as a mental illness and what causes it.

I tell the doctor, i don't feel particularly sad, just frustrated and disinterested. I'm not having a good time, I've never had a good time and i just want to go.

"Well Sunday, that's depression. Let me help you. I'll write a new script for these pills, taper you off those pills and increase the dosage on this pill! See you in 3 months! Uhm, you did give Karen your copay, right? We care about you and want you around for a long time! "

Don't get me wrong. I believe the the drugs do something to your brain chemistry and perception. I mean, they're Goddamn drugs! When that Adderral hits, i just might call someone to say 'hi'. I feel good.

However, for all the understanding of how the pills work, they'd be performing the same, if not a better service by simply buying me a bottle of damn vodka! Things don't look that bad either when I'm drunk

I've been told for sooo many years I'm depressed. I'm the problem. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm stuck in the past. It's my fault I hate life.

They want to make us victims and pump us full of their drugs so we'll keep going to work or whatever else they claim we owe society.

Maybe I'm not sick. Maybe, my lack of will to clean and cook or give a shit is due to being held captive. Maybe i cry because i don't understand what's going on, i don't like it here and it's not very easy or painless to get out. I'm angry at being forced to participate.

I might be a little anxious and not so trusting after a childhood of abuse neglect, deaths and abandonment.

I could sometimes feel lonely and persistently isolated because i haven't experienced anything close to a family life since i was 12 or because everyone around me is carrying on like this shit makes sense and im insane.

They say I'm depressed. But, why can't a bitch just be tired.

 

[Schopenhauer]

That's what they want to keep us alive for. Trapped inside our bodies and minds, in this hateful existence. Always paying for drugs and treatments. As if being alive is always the right choice.

 

[Threads]

Most of these mental health professionals go into the field desiring 'to help people' (kek).

 

[Sundayafternoon]

This is exactly why I am going to be a social worker and have a private practice.

Most of these mental health professionals go into the field desiring 'to help people' (kek). Here's the reality. The only way to empathize with someone who has endured severe trauma is to have endured severe trauma yourself. No textbook, rotation, or observing the treatment and care of psych patients (Even under the best of conditions) is going to give you the proper emotional tool set to treat someone like us. You cannot medicate our problems away. I will never step foot in a psychiatrists or a Ph.d's office. Ever. All of their training revolves around scholarly research. Literally.

https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2003/09/three-programs.aspx

You can sit and read all of your textbooks, do all of your own independent research, sit on a rotation in a psych ward, an outpatient clinic, a substance abuse center, a rape crisis center, etc. Unless you have endured trauma, unless you have been repeatedly sexually abused by a parent, I will not accept treatment from you. You can have all degrees, letters next to your name, and certificates, but I determine who is qualified to treat me and I determine if the treatment will work. I will never take psychotropic drugs made by some corporation who lobbies the government to make their medication more expensive. I will never accept treatment from a practitioner who has never experienced sexual abuse from a parent. I am not something you read about in a textbook and believe your years scholarly endeavors will adequately prepare you to treat me.

I am lucky enough to have a social worker who endured sexual abuse from a parent, and she understands. She's in her 70's, she's survived. She's still suicidal. She's still a fucking mess. But she maintains a practice and she maintains herself. I want to help people like myself. Because God willing, we desperately fucking need it in our healthcare system.

They say you should never visit a therapist that has never needed and gone to therapy.

I think it's commendable that you want to help. I'm certain you'll do a lot of people a lot of good.

However, I'm not interested in therapy or "getting better". I've given them enough money over the years. They can't give me a will to live.

The first psychiatrist i went to was a mess. Papers every where, always looked disheveled and I loved her for it. She was the one that initially started me on the wellbutrin. I told her how angry it seemed to make me, and she goes, "yes! It did the same thing to me! Let's look at some other options."

This guy now, the office is always so sterile, he looks like a knock off GQ model and he thinks I, too can be happy.
It's a joke. Just give me my adderral, sir.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I am lucky enough to have a social worker who endured sexual abuse from a parent, and she understands. She's in her 70's, she's survived. She's still suicidal. She's still a fucking mess. But she maintains a practice and she maintains herself. I want to help people like myself. Because God willing, we desperately fucking need it in our healthcare system.

I agree, we need people like your social worker for those that would consider her an inspiration.

I'm genuinely glad she helps you. But, I'm straight on being seventy, still a mess and suicidal.

Plus, I'm hard pressed to consider myself a survivor. I've had a gun placed to my temple twice before i was 5. I maybe survived that, unfortunately. But, the childhood abuse, sexual and other wise isn't something i survived through. It just fucked me up.

I hope this isn't taken the wrong way. I do understand your pov and there are many who will want and need your help. I wish you much luck