dreams feel more real than life

[Tionally]

so one of my problems and a factor in wanting to ctb is derealization (which nowadays is extremely common for me)

but for some reason when I have dreams that problem's solved I think?? I seem to feel more real when I'm dreaming and I also experience stronger emotions in them despite my usual anhedonia. when I wake up I sometimes still feel this stronger emotion about whatever has happened.
dreams seem to feel more real than reality at his point and it's supposed to be the opposite

if I felt more in real life like in my dreams then maybe I wouldn't want to ctb

 

[ShatteredSoul]

so one of my problems and a factor in wanting to ctb is derealization

but for some reason when I have dreams that problem's solved I think?? I seem to feel more real when I'm dreaming and I also experience stronger emotions in them despite my usual anhedonia. when I wake up I sometimes still feel this stronger emotion about whatever has happened.
dreams seem to feel more real than reality at his point and it's supposed to be the opposite

if I felt more in real life like in my dreams then maybe I wouldn't want to ctb

Have you suffered a lot of trauma? Or even one traumatic incident? I have PTSD and get a lot of depersonalisation. I've had derealization once or twice.
My dreams can be VERY vivid and I prefer to be in that state than my awake state.

 

[Tionally]

Have you suffered a lot of trauma? Or even one traumatic incident? I have PTSD and get a lot of depersonalisation. I've had derealization once or twice.
My dreams can be VERY vivid and I prefer to be in that state than my awake state.

i mean I didn't have the nicest childhood maybe a few bad experiences here and there but I don't have THAT much trauma I think?
and derealization started with a rapid increase when there wasn't really anything traumatic (though I did start drunk rambling to my friends about one kinda traumatic experience from childhood and I have started thinking about it and I haven't before that - not much anyway)
I think also weed played a major part in my derealization/depersonalization even though I only did it a couple times (but I always took too much probably) so I've stopped it since but it didn't really help
I guess I also had some friendship/relationship drama at the time? not really traumatic but it did make me feel kinda hopeless

 

[ShatteredSoul]

i mean I didn't have the nicest childhood maybe a few bad experiences here and there but I don't have THAT much trauma I think?
and derealization started with a rapid increase when there wasn't really anything traumatic (though I did start drunk rambling to my friends about one kinda traumatic experience from childhood and I have started thinking about it and I haven't before that - not much anyway)
I think also weed played a major part in my derealization/depersonalization even though I only did it a couple times (but I always took too much probably) so I've stopped it since but it didn't really help
I guess I also had some friendship/relationship drama at the time? not really traumatic but it did make me feel kinda hopeless

I always say "trauma is trauma" it doesn't matter what it was and different situations are more traumatic for some people and not others. Also people don't realise that things that DON'T happen in your childhood can be just as wounding.
Also trauma can catch up with you, it doesn't always hit you straight away. Some trauma is even wiped from our memories,especially during childhood. It's a way for us to survive.

 

[Tionally]

I always say "trauma is trauma" it doesn't matter what it was and different situations are more traumatic for some people and not others. Also people don't realise that things that DON'T happen in your childhood can be just as wounding.
Also trauma can catch up with you, it doesn't always hit you straight away. Some trauma is even wiped from our memories,especially during childhood. It's a way for us to survive.

I think I remember everything? I just didn't necessarily reminisce about it. The alcoholic father (still is) arguing with mom etc... was the earliest I guess but my "biggest" trauma doesn't really involve that. But it did hit me around that time when derealization started increasing and I went on a rant to my best friend about it. How I feel bad with myself because of that etc. I did feel really bad at the time but I was drunk so idk.. I never told anyone about it before and that day I also told like 3 other friends later.
But I kinda put myself in this situation and that's why I felt bad. I did this myself so I just didn't really count that as a traumatic experience because I was the one who made it happen. Though I already was pretty broken at that point I think?? I began having problems with emotions then (at 13) anhedonia etc and that's probably why it happened.

 

[mosai1que]

so one of my problems and a factor in wanting to ctb is derealization (which nowadays is extremely common for me)

but for some reason when I have dreams that problem's solved I think?? I seem to feel more real when I'm dreaming and I also experience stronger emotions in them despite my usual anhedonia. when I wake up I sometimes still feel this stronger emotion about whatever has happened.
dreams seem to feel more real than reality at his point and it's supposed to be the opposite

if I felt more in real life like in my dreams then maybe I wouldn't want to ctb

Omg your experience sounds sooo similar to mine! I dont consider myself as someone who has experienced a lot of trauma, but my friends and therapists have commented that the way i conduct myself isnt very characteristic of someone who is 'trauma-free'. I think ive been derealizing for much longer than ive been aware. Its such a confusing and lonely state of mind.
ive been suspected of being psychotic multiple times when i tell people about how the line between dream and reality is getting more blurry. It so frustrating! It feels so heavy to carry it around and not being able to talk about it Without causing concern for my loved ones.
(sorry for the ramble btw im just excited that i can relate)

 

[Tionally]

longer than ive been aware. Its such a confusing and lonely state of mind.

I guess it does fell lonely even if you're with people. Not feeling real and them not feeling quite sucks and sometimes I can't unfocus on that. I'm sorry you're dealing with it too..

It so frustrating! It feels so heavy to carry it around and not being able to talk about it Without causing concern for my loved ones.

I actually told a few of my friends about my derealization and other problems but I guess they're not really concerned. But I didn't even expect anyone to care I mean why would they? it's my problems I suppose

 

[Mistiie]

I absolutely get this, maybe for a different reason though. When I'm conscious, I'm miserable because of my own thoughts. When I'm asleep though, my brain is active enough to produce a new reality for me, but not one where I'm actually consciously aware of those thoughts. It's a temporary state of bliss born from ignorance, and it's beautiful, until I wake up. The dream could be as wacky or as mundane as possible. It could be based off of a hope of mine or of a tragedy. Regardless of the scenario, an escape from conscious thought is more than welcome. I never feel as happy in real life as I do in whatever forgetful, fleeting dreams I experience.