W3akCr3atur3

W3akCr3atur3

Empty and hollow
Aug 3, 2020
357
For probably around 2 years now I barely feel anything in real life. I have almost no emotions left except social awkwardness and self hatred. But in dreams I still can feel a lot. Sometimes I feel actually happy. I have strong emotions such as wonderment, happiness, delight. Often times I even cried after waking up realizing it was only a dream. I often wish I could live in some of my dreams forever. I feel so empty irl. Nothing ever feels real. Even dreams feels more real at this point. I think ctb for me is the way to have an eternal dream.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
I can no longer tell one day from the other. It's all a blur. I still feel stuff, but nothing positive. I never laugh, never feel happy. Not even in dreams.
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
I've heard dreams can enhance feelings and sensations so that you feel them even more than you would in real life, but I've never had a lucid dream, nor do I remember my dreams very well in terms of how they felt. If that's true, it would really seem as if dreams are better than reality in every way if you can control them, especially if you could alter the sense of time. I have had experiences where I became really attached to a dream though, and it's usually ones where I meet someone who I feel I really connect with. In a way, it's as if dreams are versions of reality that make wanting to live make sense, especially since dream logic makes questioning things out of the question, but I wonder if that's partly due to a lack of full awareness. I didn't feel fully 'aware' as a child and living made sense then, for example, but now it's as if it doesn't make sense at all. I wonder if an eternal dream would be fulfilling, or if it would result in inevitable boredom/a permanent state of haziness?
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,055
I totally agree, I hope death will be a pleasant dream.
 
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E

Exhausted1705

Member
Jun 11, 2020
51
Y
For probably around 2 years now I barely feel anything in real life. I have almost no emotions left except social awkwardness and self hatred. But in dreams I still can feel a lot. Sometimes I feel actually happy. I have strong emotions such as wonderment, happiness, delight. Often times I even cried after waking up realizing it was only a dream. I often wish I could live in some of my dreams forever. I feel so empty irl. Nothing ever feels real. Even dreams feels more real at this point. I think ctb for me is the way to have an eternal dream.
You have written out my situation. Thank you for sharing. I am not alone. You aren't too.
 
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