Drastic/desperate/novel attempts at recovery?

[Birthinjune]

Has anyone made a drastic attempt to tackle their suicidal ideations? What were they? I am debating spending all of my savings for an Ayuasca retreat in another country.
My fear is spending the last of my savings only to not get any better. My fear is also doing nothing and getting worse.

I welcome death and I know I will always be suicidal (I lost my partner to suicide this year). Hurting my family is the only thing that has stopped me.

I've had other ideas, things I might as well try if I'm going to die anyway. Some just take a lot of energy and I may be making my situation worse. Things like:
-Becoming nomadic/living out of a car
-Traveling to a different country and disappearing
-Putting all my belongings in storage and living out of a tent
-Starting sex work
-Signing up for inpatient treatment

 

[In2TheVoid]

I am going to try DMT I think as a last resort... wishing you the best

 

[motel rooms]

I am debating spending all of my savings for an Ayuasca retreat in another country.

Why don't you just try magic mushrooms, MDMA or acid?

 

[Birthinjune]

Why don't you just try magic mushrooms, MDMA or acid?

I've taken all these fairly regularly for years. MDMA and microdosing hallucinogens has been helpful sometimes but benefits are short lived. I even started taking street ketamine but it's not helping.

I guess I feel like I need something drastic and different for it to help because I've barely been able to leave bed for months

I am going to try DMT I think as a last resort... wishing you the best

I hope this works for you

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I'm thinking of going back to AA meetings to at least keep my drinking in check. Not sure though; my depression has been known to get worse without booze. But the meetings are good for talking about being suicidal and stuff and no one blinks an eye.

Still, it would be pretty drastic!

 

[WornOutLife]

I didn't do anything so extreme but some weeks after my grandpa passed away I said: "OKAY. I CAN'T CONTINUE LIVING LIKE THIS" (I was just in a bed crying or drinking booze)

Thus, I opened my fridge, and threw away lots of alcohol in a trash. (I wasted lots of money and still regret it but I guess getting rid of that alcohol was the best)

Then, I stopped drinking and just became a more productive person.

Big or small things, as long as we make an effort, we might kick depression and suicidal thoughts' as*es.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I am debating spending all of my savings for an Ayuasca retreat in another country.

This is quite interesting (it's on Netflix UK at least): it covers depression, suicide and ayahuasca, if you've not seen it before.

 

[Symbiote]

Playing the stock market at the moment and watching my gains go green, then red, then green, and then sold.

Gardening more as well and making plans to remodel the exterior of my house. Just one of many distractions I get into while biding my time with Death.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess before we ctb it is good to try everything that could help us get better. I just think a change is a good thing, when we feel hopeless in our situations. I would love to just move somewhere isolated and have a complete change of scenery.

 

[Rockman]

I love playing with psychedelics, and I'd love to try any of them. I want to try ayahuasca. I can even without any shamans in a dark room alone. Not for recovery, for pure hedonistic pleasure and fun.
I have no expectations that this will change anything.