Does anyone else feel like they are living a double life while on here but trying to act normal in real life
Donk
Useless since day 1
- Jan 3, 2020
- 1,129
Yes. Yes i do. I like this life here more, even if its just alot of words
Me too, I always find myself thinking about this site when I'm not on it. Hell im on it right now and my husband has a friend over
I have had my years where I couldn't be normal. I'll never be normal. It's hard to blend in when I have scars all over and get asked about them constantly
Can't act normal. I'm very socially awkward
4eyebiped
Mage
- Dec 28, 2019
- 567
I am in an odd situation. I can be completely honest about myself, my thoughts and my opinions but people around me assume I am joking, being sarcastic or mean something else by what I said. It is like a dark comedy. So in an oddball way, I live a double life without trying to.
MorticiasHair
Member
- Jul 1, 2020
- 56
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,721
I try to, not because I like to, but because I have to out of necessity and to protect myself from being locked up or intervened against. There are even times where sometimes my behavior reeks of depression and suicidality as much as I try to hide it. I'm still doing my best to keep things quiet and under the covers IRL because I cannot risk anything to ruin my CTB plans.
Beautiful Angel
Member
- Jul 2, 2020
- 38
I get that. People always say how "bubbly" I am then I wear short sleeves and they always ask about my scars
I'm in a similar boat. Few weeks ago I was forced to go to emergency room but of course I knew all the right answers to say
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Mr.Mediocre
Member
- Jun 25, 2020
- 36
On the surface it appears to people (my family) as if I am extremely apathetic, staring into the distance with a totally blank, emotionless face. But underneath the amount of emotions I feel is like dynamite just waiting to explode, the entire day they build until I lay on my bed at night, where I become overwhelmed with pretty much every negative emotion there is.
DeathIsTheWayOut99
Warlock
- Jun 6, 2020
- 798
I dont think I try to act normal. I am so desensitized that I openly look up ways to commit suicide on my daily commutes and walks. A person could be staring at my phone and I wouldn't give a fuck
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
I hold it together IRL mostly well. I'm usually just written off as being a bit odd. But here, I can actually be myself, confide in others, and feel like I don't have to pretend.
Close_to_freedom
Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
- May 19, 2020
- 418
the box is empty
Sometimes the fall kills you. Sometimes you fly.
- Mar 8, 2020
- 356
Yeah. When I'm out with friends or at work I'm generally different.
A friend of mine asked me what my home life is like and I bluntly replied "I go home and stare at the wall."
A friend of mine asked me what my home life is like and I bluntly replied "I go home and stare at the wall."
Helpneedtips
Member
- Jun 5, 2020
- 30
Yes, in fact, even my family and friends do not know of my mental health struggles and that I am suicidal. It's a combination of me being a very private person who doesn't share her emotions much, and a bit of pride I guess because my parents see me as the "child who has her shit together" . My mother once told me that she never worried about me because I can take "take care of myself". I suppose it's meant to be a compliment, but I do admit being hurt from said admission.
When I ctb, my family and friends will probably say, "Oh, we had no idea...", "It came as a shock..." i suppose I partly have myself to blame.
When I ctb, my family and friends will probably say, "Oh, we had no idea...", "It came as a shock..." i suppose I partly have myself to blame.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
I wear many masks. Normal, father, son, ex-husband, failure, suicidal, etc.
Bct
Disqualified from Being Human
- Apr 20, 2020
- 419
Yeah, I think it's normal to have some faces depending on people you face. Sadly, most of us can't put our suicidal faces because people tend to react negatively.
I'm sorry you feel like you can't reach for help. We're here xoxo
Well put friend
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
I feel like I'm a bunch of different people trying to control one brain tbh
Isadeth
Visionary
- Jun 12, 2020
- 2,538
Absolutely. There's a multitude of different types of myself. Friend, wife, mother, daughter, neighbor, professional. The list goes on. Very few people actually know the real me. Sometimes I question if I even know the real me anymore. I'm not sure if it would be considered a maladaptive coping mechanism or not, but it gets me by most days. ♡
