Pretty much what @SmollMushroom is saying. Some of us just aren't meant to have that kind of life, and many of us - especially the working class, the global south, etc. - are outward excluded from ever being able to have it.
Me personally though, I've always felt behind in life. Always. Growing up I was an emotionally immature kid who never had the social skills, confidence or bravery that other kids had, and my coping mechanism was always just to slip into the background and indulge in my own interests without the interference of others. I knew there were kids around me who were really popular, got good grades and were doing all these cool things, and there were times when I tried to put on certain personas to fit in with them, but it never worked. Most of my attempts at being confident just came off as insecure and mean, which is what happens when you try to fake self-esteem that you don't have.
I tried doing my own things, like teaching myself to draw, hosting podcasts, submitting my writings to various literary journals, etc., but none of it ever panned out well. It feels like my general journey from the age of sixteen onwards (I'm nineteen now) has just been slowly realizing that I'm just not cut out for this world. All this popularity and success is just stuff that other people do, not me. I'm not owed anything, I'm just a parasite with no justification to be alive.
So yeah, well it does often bother sometimes that other people my age or younger are doing way better than me, I've mostly just accepted it at this point and realized that I'm just not meant to be like them. I've never been like them and I never will be; my failure as a human being was destined to be from the start.
