Don’t want to leave behind my stuff

[Mistry420]

I'm 26 and have been feeling suicidal/depressed/anxious for 10 years or so.. I really want to just die and get on with it, but I get this swelling anxiety in my gut like what about who finds you, who gets ur stuff, who's going to be your narrator ? What is the narrative ? Like if u live with ur family it's just ur belongings, I live ina house share everything in this room is all I have and I've protected it for so long while I was homeless last year and jus don't want to die and leave it all unprotected ready to be taken... I don't know am I being weird ??

 

[Oyoy]

I'm 26 and have been feeling suicidal/depressed/anxious for 10 years or so.. I really want to just die and get on with it, but I get this swelling anxiety in my gut like what about who finds you, who gets ur stuff, who's going to be your narrator ? What is the narrative ? Like if u live with ur family it's just ur belongings, I live ina house share everything in this room is all I have and I've protected it for so long while I was homeless last year and jus don't want to die and leave it all unprotected ready to be taken... I don't know am I being weird ??

those are my sentiments EXACTY

 

[SaraaaEzaaaat]

لفى

I'm 26 and have been feeling suicidal/depressed/anxious for 10 years or so.. I really want to just die and get on with it, but I get this swelling anxiety in my gut like what about who finds you, who gets ur stuff, who's going to be your narrator ? What is the narrative ? Like if u live with ur family it's just ur belongings, I live ina house share everything in this room is all I have and I've protected it for so long while I was homeless last year and jus don't want to die and leave it all unprotected ready to be taken... I don't know am I being weird ??

Oh my dear be fine please , you aren't weird , Iam just 19 years old and try to kill my selve about 6 once , so i think I'm who weird and stupid person :"

 

[Mistry420]

لفى

Oh my dear be fine please , you aren't weird , Iam just 19 years old and try to kill my selve about 6 once , so i think I'm who weird and stupid person :"

You're defo not stupid and so brave for being on here at your age, I wish I had an open forum like this when I was younger, feel like my "sadness" and "craziness" has just been made out like I'm crazy to everyone, you're young, hopefully you still have your family annoyingly caring for you xx

those are my sentiments EXACTY

Then it's like... do I splurge it living my best life before I kick it, but then I feel like it will get blamed on drugs or something far from the point

 

[foreveryoung]

I've got a ton of stuff i dont want to leave, but im just going to have to. Im trying my best to get rid of all my attachments. Do they have any worth in the after life? I've also got all these things on my harddrive, my portfolio, my projects, all the things i worked on, im uploading all onto a cloud drive. Im not even sure why. Just want to keep it somewhere i guess. Not as luxurious as how Pharoh's were able to bring all their belongings in with them to their tomb, but i think its good enough.

 

[Mistry420]

I've got a ton of stuff i dont want to leave, but im just going to have to. Im trying my best to get rid of all my attachments. Do they have any worth in the after life? I've also got all these things on my harddrive, my portfolio, my projects, all the things i worked on, im uploading all onto a cloud drive. Im not even sure why. Just want to keep it somewhere i guess. Not as luxurious as how Pharoh's were able to bring all their belongings in with them to their tomb, but i think its good enough.

That's pretty cool, but you should upload it to the internet if anything, share what u made with the world, which I had stuff like that, jus worked and earned all I have so just being selfish like cant take it with me and don't wanna spend it because I've saved it
I have to leave where I live by 29/02 so was going to put my stuff in storage and just spend my cash while I'm sofa surfing seeing everyone before I go, but it makes it real once I'm sofa surfing, last time I was stronger and pulled through sofa surfing and got somewhere, whereas I'm tired of this cycle, having a roof is so difficult when you can't work and you aren't disabled or with child to get housed. I don't know it's a thousand questions at once in my mind

 

[SaraaaEzaaaat]

You're defo not stupid and so brave for being on here at your age, I wish I had an open forum like this when I was younger, feel like my "sadness" and "craziness" has just been made out like I'm crazy to everyone, you're young, hopefully you still have your family annoyingly caring for you xx

Then it's like... do I splurge it living my best life before I kick it, but then I feel like it will get blamed on drugs or something far from the point

I haven't family ، i spent 5 years in my room alone , no one tried to know if I still alive or no , there problems more important than me

 

[Mistry420]

I haven't family ، i spent 5 years in my room alone , no one tried to know if I still alive or no , there problems more important than me

can you private message me? Life is what we make it, I've stopped caring if people think of me, because they don't and if they do it's for their benefit.. but life can go on alone, u can do what you want, go where you want, be who you want; don't give up before you've reached certain milestones. I have been suicidal for 10 years,and now I am nearing the end of my road, but I'm happy I pulled through all those times before because I learnt so much in these past years and now I am more content with ending it all.message me though,u don't have to end it x

 

[Sadddd]

It's this thought of what happens afterwards that haunts me, i've not managed to accumulate much but have a sleeping bag that my dad bought me for camping before he died, one of the few things that I can attach directly to him as was there when he bought it. likely my most treasured possession and the first thing that would get thrown out!

 

[SaraaaEzaaaat]

can you private message me? Life is what we make it, I've stopped caring if people think of me, because they don't and if they do it's for their benefit.. but life can go on alone, u can do what you want, go where you want, be who you want; don't give up before you've reached certain milestones. I have been suicidal for 10 years,and now I am nearing the end of my road, but I'm happy I pulled through all those times before because I learnt so much in these past years and now I am more content with ending it all.message me though,u don't have to end it x

My private massage is close until now , put I like your opinion , I think I will learn it too , thanks girl , put why are you here ? :"

 

[Mistry420]

It's this thought of what happens afterwards that haunts me, i've not managed to accumulate much but have a sleeping bag that my dad bought me for camping before he died, one of the few things that I can attach directly to him as was there when he bought it. likely my most treasured possession and the first thing that would get thrown out!

I wish I had stuff like that, sentimentals, you can lay inside of it and feel close to your dad, and he didn't chose to leave you, wouldn't you want an opportunity to be someones parent and impact them like he impacted you? But you will be there as long as you can... Idont know

My private massage is close until now , put I like your opinion , I think I will learn it too , thanks girl , put why are you here ? :"

unfixed things that have sat with me for years, just comes a point in life when you remember and feel it all so clearly and it doesn'treally move from there. past year as been a whole cycle and I jus haven't got the capacity to survive anymore. Living is one thing but surviving isn't easy either

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@Mistry420 I like the idea of having it in storage in case your attempt goes awry and you survive. If it were me, I would send a delayed email to the person I wanted it to go to with the lock combo or instructions where to find the key. I would leave my narrative in the storage unit.

So in case it doesn't seem like I answered your questions, I don't think you're being weird, or materialistic. I honor that it's important to you.

 

[foreveryoung]

That's pretty cool, but you should upload it to the internet if anything, share what u made with the world, which I had stuff like that, jus worked and earned all I have so just being selfish like cant take it with me and don't wanna spend it because I've saved it
I have to leave where I live by 29/02 so was going to put my stuff in storage and just spend my cash while I'm sofa surfing seeing everyone before I go, but it makes it real once I'm sofa surfing, last time I was stronger and pulled through sofa surfing and got somewhere, whereas I'm tired of this cycle, having a roof is so difficult when you can't work and you aren't disabled or with child to get housed. I don't know it's a thousand questions at once in my mind

I'll try, but its a bunch of unfinished projects, and anything relevant i did upload for others to use. I even made some products so people will buy it. but it wasn't so successful. I can barely survive from its revenue, and its just so much work vs revenue. I can't keep up. So depressed and feel like a slave. the world is just a tough place, gotta give up at some point.

 

[Otter]

It's this thought of what happens afterwards that haunts me, i've not managed to accumulate much but have a sleeping bag that my dad bought me for camping before he died, one of the few things that I can attach directly to him as was there when he bought it. likely my most treasured possession and the first thing that would get thrown out!

Maybe you can request it to be buried with you. That would be pretty cool if they actually could bury you while you were in it

 

[Oyoy]

You're defo not stupid and so brave for being on here at your age, I wish I had an open forum like this when I was younger, feel like my "sadness" and "craziness" has just been made out like I'm crazy to everyone, you're young, hopefully you still have your family annoyingly caring for you xx

Then it's like... do I splurge it living my best life before I kick it, but then I feel like it will get blamed on drugs or something far from the point

Are you saying you want to go JUST to make a point. Don't do it but do have fun.

 

[PaYo]

Dude you just attached to life

 

[Thatdude]

Here is what I plan to do. If I off myself, and it isn't very sudden. I plan on deleting a lot of accounts, 99% of my emails, and so on. After which, I will make a will saying that what money and items I have can be sold off to pay for whatever is done with my body. I would then give the rest of my stuff, passwords, etc to my parents (who I live with) in the will.

I would then make an app which will let me press a button. It will indicate to me if it understands the current location or if I need to manually put in the location. From there, it will have a count down (maybe a good hour). When it hits 0 it will call the cops, and a TTS will keep repeating a message over and over and over for maybe 30 min. Maybe it will keep going. The TTS will tell the person on the other end that it is a TTS, what happened, my location, and so on.
Before pressing the button, I will put a cover over my car with some taped paper saying "there is a dead body inside. Please don't look unless if you're the cops. Please don't worry about calling the cops, because they already been called. Have a good day."

I'm iffy if my method will be night night or exit bag.


For those of you who don't know. In the USA, if you don't say who gets your money and what not. Chances are the gov will take it.

 

[Defenestrator]

We can't take any of this stuff with us, and a lot of it actually contributes to what makes life shit anyway.
I just hope my stuff gets used when I'm gone, or at least sold off to pay for the disposal of my corpse. I would actually love to just disappear; go and die somewhere and leave no corpse behind.

 

[Cave Johnson]

I'm 26 and have been feeling suicidal/depressed/anxious for 10 years or so.. I really want to just die and get on with it, but I get this swelling anxiety in my gut like what about who finds you, who gets ur stuff, who's going to be your narrator ? What is the narrative ? Like if u live with ur family it's just ur belongings, I live ina house share everything in this room is all I have and I've protected it for so long while I was homeless last year and jus don't want to die and leave it all unprotected ready to be taken... I don't know am I being weird ??

Depending on where you live, you could write a suicide note and will in one so that you can choose who gets what while you're writing your note, write it in and be secure that it will be taken care of(assuming you want your stuff going to someone). May want to look into it.

 

[l0sing]

I feel the same, but about my dog. I know if or when i do it someone will know instantly because my family are already on high alert and if they don't get a reply to a message they ring and if still no reply they'll come round (they only live round the corner) so I know my pooch will be found quickly but I'm worried what will happen to him because my family can't take him in.

 

[Mistry420]

I'll try, but its a bunch of unfinished projects, and anything relevant i did upload for others to use. I even made some products so people will buy it. but it wasn't so successful. I can barely survive from its revenue, and its just so much work vs revenue. I can't keep up. So depressed and feel like a slave. the world is just a tough place, gotta give up at some point.

Honestly I feel you <3 the world jus keeps going even when we want to pause and it keeps charging as it goes :( I really feel for you, we are all slaves to this society it cuts deep because how do we protest ? By dying but it doesn't change anything except drop us out

Dude you just attached to life

I don't know about life, but I just built up my belongings and have been protecting them for the past couple years while I been estranged, so yeah I'm attached to them it's proof of my hard work, dunno whether u meant to be a dick or not but wow

 

[Otter]

I'm 26 and have been feeling suicidal/depressed/anxious for 10 years or so.. I really want to just die and get on with it, but I get this swelling anxiety in my gut like what about who finds you, who gets ur stuff, who's going to be your narrator ? What is the narrative ? Like if u live with ur family it's just ur belongings, I live ina house share everything in this room is all I have and I've protected it for so long while I was homeless last year and jus don't want to die and leave it all unprotected ready to be taken... I don't know am I being weird ??

Girl, I am a certifiable hoarder in a 2000 square foot home completely packed to the gills with junk. Most of it is pretty cool vintage stuff that is resalable. None of it is high-dollar stuff, just mostly home decor like lamps, pillows, wall pictures and knick-knacks. I've been collecting stuff from flea market an antique stores for 30 years. part of me dragging my heels on CTB is the tremendous amount of burden getting rid of this stuff will be to whoever gets stuck with it. sometimes I look at it all and it gives me a slight, very very slight will to live. I initially wanted to own an junk/ antique store in my retirement years. so I definitely hear you!

I feel the same, but about my dog. I know if or when i do it someone will know instantly because my family are already on high alert and if they don't get a reply to a message they ring and if still no reply they'll come round (they only live round the corner) so I know my pooch will be found quickly but I'm worried what will happen to him because my family can't take him in.

I'm un a quandary about pets as well. I have zero friends and I live 10 hours away from family (who can't stand pets anyway)
One doggo, 3 catto's

 

[k75]

I'm very attached to my things, both physical and digital. One of my big nightmares is getting rid of it all but then failing and having to live without it. So I came up with a plan.

I'm packing all my things into boxes, and my best friend will be in charge of them. He'll make sure it all goes to the best use.

My digital stuff is all backed up online, and I'm the only one with the information. I'll be deleting it from my devices and doing a factory reset, but the backup will still exist. After my subscription expires, it'll get deleted.

If I live, I lose nothing, and if I die, it'll be taken care of.

My cat used to be my biggest worry, but she died a couple of months ago. :(

 

[Mistry420]

Girl, I am a certifiable hoarder in a 2000 square foot home completely packed to the gills with junk. Most of it is pretty cool vintage stuff that is resalable. None of it is high-dollar stuff, just mostly home decor like lamps, pillows, wall pictures and knick-knacks. I've been collecting stuff from flea market an antique stores for 30 years. part of me dragging my heels on CTB is the tremendous amount of burden getting rid of this stuff will be to whoever gets stuck with it. sometimes I look at it all and it gives me a slight, very very slight will to live. I initially wanted to own an junk/ antique store in my retirement years. so I definitely hear you!

I'm un a quandary about pets as well. I have zero friends and I live 10 hours away from family (who can't stand pets anyway)
One doggo, 3 catto's

I hope these things still give you that slight will to live !! Sounds like you could open an online antique store and have an early retirement with ur babies !! I believe these slight feelings are like pushes from the universe to give it another go .. or maybe were typical anxious messes who can't make up our minds .. once again

I'm very attached to my things, both physical and digital. One of my big nightmares is getting rid of it all but then failing and having to live without it. So I came up with a plan.

I'm packing all my things into boxes, and my best friend will be in charge of them. He'll make sure it all goes to the best use.

My digital stuff is all backed up online, and I'm the only one with the information. I'll be deleting it from my devices and doing a factory reset, but the backup will still exist. After my subscription expires, it'll get deleted.

If I live, I lose nothing, and if I die, it'll be taken care of.

My cat used to be my biggest worry, but she died a couple of months ago. :(

Yeah storage seems like a good idea to be honest, was thinking of sending a delayed email as someone suggested with entry pin, but didn't think of digital presence . I don't really want anyone to see any of my shit, especially not my online stuff , so ur idea is good, if it fails we don't lose our online stuffs and if it doesn't fail the stuff will disappear once a payment fails