Story DON'T WANT TO KEEP GOING

[Unattainable666]

I've been here long enough. I've lived, if you want to call it that, long enough. I wake up and look in the mirror - I don't even know who I am anymore. It's as if I'm looking at a stranger. I've tried for a long time to keep going, always having a shred of hope, but that's gone now too. I lived in a different state, no doctors, no therapists. So I moved - I had hope for a better future. I interviewed, got the job and left. Drove 1600 miles full of hope for a new beginning. Then I got here and it was nothing that they told me it would be. I work for the largest personal injury law firm in the US - I'm not proud - they are nothing more than money hungry pricks. It's not even a law firm it's a factory. I hate myself now for even having that sliver of hope for a new beginning. I wake up every morning wishing I had died during the night. The world we live in is full of fucked up people (no I'm not talking about us) fucked up people who take advantage, who lie, cheat and steal to get their way and we are their victims (I hate that word). I've wanted to die for a very long time, even tried a couple of times obviously failing. But now I have a full proof way of ctb. I have no hope left. I know that the shit show I call my life will never be peaceful. I hate myself for making the decision to move. I am now in a very dark place and moving closer to ctb every second I breathe. Why do people lie - well these people lie because they cant keep employees - so they lie by omission - they fail to tell the truth - they dont know how to tell the truth and who suffers for it - people who are kind, loving, considerate and wanting something better for themselves - people like you and me. I'm ready to leave my shit show life. Ive tried as hard as I can and I've lost. The assholes of this world will win every time. I'm done.

 

[f1lth]

im sorry life has been hard and that your hope has been ripped away. Life can be so cruel and so can people, having any hope you have wither away is so depressing and defeating

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel this so much. My industry isn't as cut throat as yours but, all are exploitative and I agree, I'm just tired of playing the game. I don't want to try anymore.

I'm sorry that you put so much in, only to be disappointed. I had a similar experience years ago when I moved for a job. To be fair to them, they didn't outright lie as much as your employers but, I guess it's just that feeling that it wasn't worth it. So, you try again and again. Then, I started to wonder if I was the problem. Maybe I just won't be content anywhere. But, even if that's the case, it doesn't change how I feel.

I wish those who want to could just peacefully and quietly slip away.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm sorry for everything that you've been through. Life itself is awful and working is even more awful. I hope that I won't be on this planet long enough to suffer from working perpetually. I don't understand those who want to work all their lives nor do I wish to understand them; I just want to be in the blissful permanent non existence. Either way, I hope that you find peace soon

 

[Unattainable666]

I'm sorry for everything that you've been through. Life itself is awful and working is even more awful. I hope that I won't be on this planet long enough to suffer from working perpetually. I don't understand those who want to work all their lives nor do I wish to understand them; I just want to be in the blissful permanent non existence. Either way, I hope that you find peace soon

Thank you

I feel this so much. My industry isn't as cut throat as yours but, all are exploitative and I agree, I'm just tired of playing the game. I don't want to try anymore.

I'm sorry that you put so much in, only to be disappointed. I had a similar experience years ago when I moved for a job. To be fair to them, they didn't outright lie as much as your employers but, I guess it's just that feeling that it wasn't worth it. So, you try again and again. Then, I started to wonder if I was the problem. Maybe I just won't be content anywhere. But, even if that's the case, it doesn't change how I feel.

I wish those who want to could just peacefully and quietly slip away.

Thank you

 

[Unattainable666]

im sorry life has been hard and that your hope has been ripped away. Life can be so cruel and so can people, having any hope you have wither away is so depressing and defeating

Thank you

 

[thewalkingdread]

I also don't want to keep waking up and participating in this senseless, pointless, stupid and horrific reality...

But CTB is a hard thing to do, even If one has his preferred means to do it.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm really sorry to hear this, I really wonder how life can destroy all the ways and attempts of a person to live a peaceful and quiet life. Whatever you choose or do, I wish you luck and peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is such a cruel, dreadful world, to me humans certainly are the worst species, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway best wishes.