Venting Don't want to be here

[Ella Disenchanted]

I am so low at this point that I need so badly to be gone and yet have so little energy that the thought of even trying anything is too exhausting. I'm considering trying something tomorrow or Saturday night but there's no point in making a goodbye thread as I've failed before and will probably end up failing again. All I can hope is to somehow trick my subconscious into thinking it's not a real attempt so I can slip away before my brain has time to realise what's going on. This is torture. I don't want to be here.

 

[throwaway123]

I am so low at this point that I need so badly to be gone and yet have so little energy that the thought of even trying anything is too exhausting. I'm considering trying something tomorrow or Saturday night but there's no point in making a goodbye thread as I've failed before and will probably end up failing again. All I can hope is to somehow trick my subconscious into thinking it's not a real attempt so I can slip away before my brain has time to realise what's going on. This is torture. I don't want to be here.

Hey! Welcome to my world! Welcome to hell! :)

 

[Ben]

I am so low at this point that I need so badly to be gone and yet have so little energy that the thought of even trying anything is too exhausting. I'm considering trying something tomorrow or Saturday night but there's no point in making a goodbye thread as I've failed before and will probably end up failing again. All I can hope is to somehow trick my subconscious into thinking it's not a real attempt so I can slip away before my brain has time to realise what's going on. This is torture. I don't want to be here.

If you know ahead time you are going to make an attempt, make sure you are prepared. Walk through what you have to do, set up your set up. You're chances of failure are higher if you just try it and hope for the best. I know it's hard with no energy, but this will require a little bit of effort. Good luck.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

If you know ahead time you are going to make an attempt, make sure you are prepared. Walk through what you have to do, set up your set up. You're chances of failure are higher if you just try it and hope for the best. I know it's hard with no energy, but this will require a little bit of effort. Good luck.

Thanks, I'm trying to get myself into the right mindset. Saturday is probably the better day of the two. I've managed to burn all my bridges online and off now and have nothing keeping me here anymore. As I said before.. I'm not treating this like a goodbye posting. I'd only jinx myself if I did. Right now I'm glad at the thought of being free of everything.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

Really pissed right now. I had figured I'd do a dry run tonight but I'm in bed with a bad cold. If I try tomorrow it will most likely be a half assed attempt as I can barely see straight at the moment. I can't help but feel that if I'm going to do this, I want it to be right. Or as right as any suicide ever is. Stumbling off this mortal coil through a sea of Kleenex and phlegm doesn't do it for me. I'm just going to stuff more tissue up my nose and think of all the things that brought me to this point.

 

[throwaway123]

Who does?

 

[MissLisa]

Really pissed right now. I had figured I'd do a dry run tonight but I'm in bed with a bad cold. If I try tomorrow it will most likely be a half assed attempt as I can barely see straight at the moment. I can't help but feel that if I'm going to do this, I want it to be right. Or as right as any suicide ever is. Stumbling off this mortal coil through a sea of Kleenex and phlegm doesn't do it for me. I'm just going to stuff more tissue up my nose and think of all the things that brought me to this point.

I'm in bed at the moment too, 3 day migraine and the sickness tablets are doing nothing for my sickness