First time posting. Im sick of this life ready to end it. Only one problem is that I don't think I can do that to my daughter or mom. I don't know I guess it sucks wanting to leave but not wanting to let others down. Just confused today and found this site.
Welcome to this site hope you can find what you need here
How old are you? How old is your daughter? Would your mother take care of your daughter if you took your life? What makes you consider this decision? Sorry if I sound nosy by asking all these questions.
I can't imagine having a child but the only reason i haven't done it up til this point is my mom so i understand that side of it.
I'm 29. My daughter is 5. My mom wouldn't get her she would be stuck with her crazy biological mother. I'm just a guy trying to get fair time with my child and every step of the way the mother is using the courts to fuck it up because she is bitter that i left her. My job is too much I work my ass off just to get more responsibility with no more pay. I struggle to get by as is and I'm paying lawyers money for a case that is going nowhere because the system is biased. I just feel like i put so much effort into life to be treated like I'm nothing to anyone. But at the end of the day I don't think I could do that to my daughter. Maybe I just need to vent. I don't have friends. I don't have anyone that actually understands. And sadly I don't even have the balls to ctb and take a shot at whatever comes after this.
Then live for your daughter.
And yes, your death is going to ruin her beyond repair. You must consider that.
And yes, your death is going to ruin her beyond repair. You must consider that.
Thanks. Sorry that I came here just to complain. Don't have anyone to talk to. And the few people I could try to talk to just belittle me for not being strong all the time.
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
Dude, it's ok... I can only be glad I don't have children to consider as well. The whole thing isn't easy, and I really think this community is amazing for all the support they give
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
I seriously can't say what I would have done with a daughter... I'm 38 and supposed to have my shit together, but I just can't anymore
akosineenee
Invisible idiot
- Aug 22, 2018
- 224
No need to apologize. I'm new here but I'd like to think that everyone here try to see past their own judgments and try to help the best way they can.
I know the feeling I should have it together as well but it just never seems to work out
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
And sometimes you just have to fall apart in order to have an opportunity to pick up the pieces. I don't know whether I think it's better to have someone dependent on you or not, I think when I was still in my previous relationship, I put up with a lot more shit from life because I had reason to live apart from myself
akosineenee
Invisible idiot
- Aug 22, 2018
- 224
Don't you just hate it that society in general (or even yourself) expects you to have your shit together when you are at a certain age? Everyone moves on their own pace. You not having this or that doesn't mean that your lagging behind or that you're achieving less than everybody else. But here we are made to believe that we must have this and that at this and that time or you're nothing. No one has their shit together. Everything is held together by band-aid.
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
Yeah, got plenty of that too... Not sure why the fuck I'm trying to live the American Dream if I don't even live there!!! 
Well I guess just "the dream" spending money on shit you can't afford to have what you are "supposed" to make society believe that you are a competent adult with your shit together. Keeping up appearances to get better jobs to afford more shit you can't afford.
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
I do even more bullshit things because I convince myself it is to make myself happy. We all do stupid shit, for various stupid reasons. But at least you guys have that Trump motherfucker with his "clean coal"
The politics in this country are as depressing and anything fucking reality show shit
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
That whole 2 party system kinda boggles my mind, the way it divides all the issues up into 2 piles and you get to pick a bad deal, or a worse deal. Like trying to be a pro-choice Republican, that kite ain't gonna fly!
Right just pick what the media convinces you sucks less than the other option. If it hasnt Been decided already im not convinved that the votes are really counted I think its all pre deternined
Death_From_Above
Student
- Aug 25, 2018
- 115
Well, it doesn't seem like the popular vote matters!
I'm sorry that things are looking bleak for you. Your daughter is still a little kid and your death would undoubtedly cause her a lot of hurt. But forcing yourself to live just not to make others suffer is not okay, too. Though, at the same time I feel that relief from pain at the expense of your mother and daughter feels wrong. Do you have good bonds with your mother? How close are you two? Besides that, you can vent or complain as much as you like. People here are extraordinarily kind and understanding.
I cant do it to my kiddo and me and my mom are close just been struggling with depression for a long time and some days are a lot worse than others. Always kind of a thought in my head that i don't wanna be here but I guess I need to be at the same time. I can't even make sense of how I feel most of the time
In general I'm a huge mess when it comes to emotions and not being able to state how I feel is something really familiar to me. I hope it won't get any more confusing for you.
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