Don't know what to do with my life

[tomatron20]

Just about to graduate from Oxford with top grades. Feel like absolute shit.

Was a total weirdo when I went in, did a near 180 in personality/grew a lot, and everything I thought I knew was wrong.

Never bothered with skills or experience outside of the bare minimum of sports to make myself employable, always assumed academia was for me (probably because it was the only thing i knew), and am now facing a future where unlike everyone I know, I have no clear future at all.

Impossible to go back and change things. Think I'm going to go back home and just sit there.

Feels like shit.

 

[ghostdog]

Nobody has clear future, Go Wild! , from what are you saying you will have opportunity to turn back when time comes . Also i assume you would have money at the point where you can travel at third world countries and it will be a crazy ride ! Maybe you are a weirdo in "Oxford bunch" , try other cultures , people like weirdos(not violent weidos) .

 

[tomatron20]

Nobody has clear future, Go Wild! , from what are you saying you will have opportunity to turn back when time comes . Also i assume you would have money at the point where you can travel at third world countries and it will be a crazy ride ! Maybe you are a weirdo in "Oxford bunch" , try other cultures , people like weirdos(not violent weidos) .

I get what you're saying. But what do you mean by "turn back when the time comes?"

I just feel like whatever I'll be doing is circling the drain. Like if I had the social awareness I have now, and was alert to career paths, I would be in a good position - but right now there's just a brick wall in front.

Thanks for responding.

 

[EternalSummer]

wow man, oxford, that's so impressive. This diploma can open you many doors, don't take it for granted, that's a very impressive thing you did, people with depression ted to diminish their own accomplishments.

But I also was someone who was a good student, my depression took my most important years in university and I wanst able to graduate. Sometimes we wish for and value what we don't have. Thats one of the reasons I wasnt so motivated about my studies, I was always good at it.

 

[ghostdog]

In turn back - back to loans , shitty jobs, unclear vision , suicide. I am saying this because of background what you said , to be a graduate of Oxford isn't already a easy path , so change direction of it . I know it, it's very personal but i can only give you advice based on my experience , i was drowing in a feces a lot of times , mainly for my manic episodes , got swamped with loans, i always wanted to kill myself , but i said at the moment , because i don't know what's after death, Fuck it i, there is no lemons but i will squeeze everything out of it , have done a lot of things which i wanted to do, and now i am back where i was, waiting for a special date. But if you are already suffering to much you have free will so it's up to you .