Venting dont have a sense of self..

[SW33TL0VER]

i feel like i dont exist but literally, my body just feels like a shell so i dont really care what happens to it. my personality is nonexistent and just other people's personalities mixed- if u asked me what my personality traits were i couldnt tell u or everything i say would sound fake to me. i dont even know what i look like, if u asked me to look at myself in 3rd pov of myself then i couldnt see what i look like unless if im looking at a mirror- im chasing everything and anything that can change me. im like in this super crazy state of dissociation, i actually dont exist and im always empty. i don't understand how my actions can affect others sometimes. i think most people are boring too even tho i want close relations. i just always copy people. i cant really describe it, none of the things i own, wear, etc dont belong to me. i want to change myself so badly but physically and i do always change. i just feel fake and the dissociation is too much.

 

[novi.jpg]

i feel like i dont exist but literally, my body just feels like a shell so i dont really care what happens to it. my personality is nonexistent and just other people's personalities mixed- if u asked me what my personality traits were i couldnt tell u or everything i say would sound fake to me. i dont even know what i look like, if u asked me to look at myself in 3rd pov of myself then i couldnt see what i look like unless if im looking at a mirror- im chasing everything and anything that can change me. im like in this super crazy state of dissociation, i actually dont exist and im always empty. i don't understand how my actions can affect others sometimes. i think most people are boring too even tho i want close relations. i just always copy people. i cant really describe it, none of the things i own, wear, etc dont belong to me. i want to change myself so badly but physically and i do always change. i just feel fake and the dissociation is too much.

I'm truly sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're going through a very challenging time, grappling with a sense of disconnection from yourself and your surroundings. What you're describing seems like a deep level of dissociation, and I want to acknowledge how difficult and disorienting that must feel.

First and foremost, it's important to know that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel lost or uncertain about your identity. Many people experience periods in their lives where they feel disconnected or unsure of who they are. You're not alone in this.

In these moments, it can be helpful to focus on small acts of self-care or activities that ground you in the present moment. This could be as simple as focusing on your breathing, taking a walk, or engaging in a hobby that brings you some sense of peace or normalcy.

Your experiences and feelings, though they might seem overwhelming now, don't define your entire existence or future. People are complex, and our identities can evolve over time. It's okay not to have all the answers about who you are right now. Self-discovery is a journey, not a destination, and it's perfectly normal for your personality and interests to be influenced by those around you. We all grow and change through our experiences and interactions.

Regarding your concern about not understanding how your actions affect others, it's a sign of empathy and self-awareness to consider this. It might be beneficial to talk about these feelings with someone you trust or seek support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your experiences.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to acknowledge these feelings and to reach out for support. You deserve to feel more connected to yourself and to find a path that brings you a sense of authenticity and fulfillment. You are important, and your presence in this world matters.

 

[SW33TL0VER]

thank u so much- i think its just a symptom of my borderline personality disorder so thats why it just feels so chronic. I think i do have a little trouble with empathy but i am working with my therapist on it too- i really hope that i can somehow find the path to discovery and wont have to live like this. i guess i just dont feel like a person? thank u so much though i really appreciate it.

 

[novi.jpg]

thank u so much- i think its just a symptom of my borderline personality disorder so thats why it just feels so chronic. I think i do have a little trouble with empathy but i am working with my therapist on it too- i really hope that i can somehow find the path to discovery and wont have to live like this. i guess i just dont feel like a person? thank u so much though i really appreciate it.

You're very welcome, and thank you for sharing more about what you're going through. It sounds like you're taking important steps by working with a therapist, especially in addressing the challenges related to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Managing BPD can be a complex journey, and the feelings of chronic emptiness or struggles with identity and empathy that you're experiencing are not uncommon for those with this condition.

Remember, the path to self-discovery and managing BPD is often a gradual process, and it's commendable that you're actively seeking help and working towards understanding yourself better. Every step you take with your therapist, no matter how small it may seem, is a positive move towards a more stable and fulfilling life.

It's also really important to acknowledge the effort you're putting into this process. Working on empathy and self-understanding, especially when dealing with BPD, requires strength and patience. The fact that you're committed to this journey and hopeful about the future is a testament to your resilience.

Not feeling like a person can be a disconcerting experience, but with time, support, and continuous work, you can find your sense of self. The path may not always be linear or clear, but it's filled with opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

You're not alone in this. There are many people who understand and care, and it's okay to lean on them when things get tough. Keep holding onto that hope and keep moving forward at your own pace. Your experiences and feelings are valid, and you deserve to find a path that leads to a sense of identity and fulfillment that feels right for you.

 

[SW33TL0VER]

You're very welcome, and thank you for sharing more about what you're going through. It sounds like you're taking important steps by working with a therapist, especially in addressing the challenges related to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Managing BPD can be a complex journey, and the feelings of chronic emptiness or struggles with identity and empathy that you're experiencing are not uncommon for those with this condition.

Remember, the path to self-discovery and managing BPD is often a gradual process, and it's commendable that you're actively seeking help and working towards understanding yourself better. Every step you take with your therapist, no matter how small it may seem, is a positive move towards a more stable and fulfilling life.

It's also really important to acknowledge the effort you're putting into this process. Working on empathy and self-understanding, especially when dealing with BPD, requires strength and patience. The fact that you're committed to this journey and hopeful about the future is a testament to your resilience.

Not feeling like a person can be a disconcerting experience, but with time, support, and continuous work, you can find your sense of self. The path may not always be linear or clear, but it's filled with opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

You're not alone in this. There are many people who understand and care, and it's okay to lean on them when things get tough. Keep holding onto that hope and keep moving forward at your own pace. Your experiences and feelings are valid, and you deserve to find a path that leads to a sense of identity and fulfillment that feels right for you.

oh my god thank u so much- u are super sweet and just know that u arent alone either <3 im with u every step of the way- yeah bpd isnt a really easy thing to go through but i appreciate everyones help irl and on this forum. u are totally right with the emptiness too- i kinda feel like all of those symptoms go hand in hand with eachother.

 

[novi.jpg]

oh my god thank u so much- u are super sweet and just know that u arent alone either <3 im with u every step of the way- yeah bpd isnt a really easy thing to go through but i appreciate everyones help irl and on this forum. u are totally right with the emptiness too- i kinda feel like all of those symptoms go hand in hand with eachother.

Thank you for your kind words and support. It's heartening to hear that you're finding value in the help and connections you have in real life and in forums like this. You're absolutely right about the interconnected nature of BPD symptoms. Experiences like feelings of emptiness, identity struggles, and fluctuating emotions are often intertwined, making it a complex condition to navigate.

It's a big step to acknowledge these challenges and to actively engage in conversations and therapy to manage them. The support and understanding of a community, whether online or in person, can be incredibly valuable. It provides a sense of shared experience and reminds you that you're not alone in your journey.

Remember, every bit of progress, understanding, and connection you make is significant. Your resilience and willingness to seek help and share your experiences are commendable. Keep embracing the support around you and know that your efforts are making a difference in your journey towards healing and self-discovery. You have the strength to face these challenges, and your insights and experiences can also be a source of support and inspiration to others.

 

[Krisis]

Thank you for your kind words and support. It's heartening to hear that you're finding value in the help and connections you have in real life and in forums like this. You're absolutely right about the interconnected nature of BPD symptoms. Experiences like feelings of emptiness, identity struggles, and fluctuating emotions are often intertwined, making it a complex condition to navigate.

It's a big step to acknowledge these challenges and to actively engage in conversations and therapy to manage them. The support and understanding of a community, whether online or in person, can be incredibly valuable. It provides a sense of shared experience and reminds you that you're not alone in your journey.

Remember, every bit of progress, understanding, and connection you make is significant. Your resilience and willingness to seek help and share your experiences are commendable. Keep embracing the support around you and know that your efforts are making a difference in your journey towards healing and self-discovery. You have the strength to face these challenges, and your insights and experiences can also be a source of support and inspiration to others.

I really like reading your posts; you're a very efficient writer, and I appreciate the genuine compassion that oozes out of them. I bid you a warm welcome to the forum.