ImpairedLowlife
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 400
For the last year or so I'm trying to take care of myself the best I can. Taking different supplements, trying to avoid stress and self destruction, trying to socialize and enjoy small things in life in general. I even finally had braces installed after many years of waiting for it and scheduled a very expensive but personally very important plastic surgery for September this year. It's two of the biggest Issues I hate about myself and it seems like it's finally being fixed, which felt impossible for years.
I'm actively trying to do everything to improve my mental and physical state and battle inner demons and self hatred I have, but I feel like I don't know if it's the right thing to do.
All of that prevents/delays me from killing myself and often I feel like it's all in vain. Feels like it's just some sort of cope and nothing will truly help and the only right thing to do is just to end myself sooner rather than later.
I really don't know what to feel or what to do with these feelings.
I'm actively trying to do everything to improve my mental and physical state and battle inner demons and self hatred I have, but I feel like I don't know if it's the right thing to do.
All of that prevents/delays me from killing myself and often I feel like it's all in vain. Feels like it's just some sort of cope and nothing will truly help and the only right thing to do is just to end myself sooner rather than later.
I really don't know what to feel or what to do with these feelings.
