Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
If my mind is a wreck so be it. If my body is trash so be it. I don't have any strength left to try, analyze, figure, push and fight. I'm done trying to work every which way out of life's biggest and cruelest issues. I'm just going to flow with an honest heart in hand and see where I land. If I hate myself, I hate myself. I'm done trying to fix my entire psyche. If my body betrays me then it betrays me. I'll observe that biology play out. My only pledge from this day forward is to be true to myself. That one pledge will take enough of me. I can't dedicate energy to any other pursuit.

There is no solution in trying for me. I'll let you know how it goes.
 
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Mixo

Mixo

Blue
Aug 2, 2020
773
Did something in particular happen? Or is this just a sort of random revelation?
 
Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
Did something in particular happen? Or is this just a sort of random revelation?
Just random revelation of what has worked and what hasn't in my 10 years of suffering. For me a flow state is better than trying so hard I end up winding myself up into a trapped state.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
There is nothing wrong with taking a break to recharge especially after multiple efforts to fix things
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,242
If my mind is a wreck so be it. If my body is trash so be it. I don't have any strength left to try, analyze, figure, push and fight. I'm done trying to work every which way out of life's biggest and cruelest issues. I'm just going to flow with an honest heart in hand and see where I land. If I hate myself, I hate myself. I'm done trying to fix my entire psyche. If my body betrays me then it betrays me. I'll observe that biology play out. My only pledge from this day forward is to be true to myself. That one pledge will take enough of me. I can't dedicate energy to any other pursuit.

There is no solution in trying for me. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't really know what to respond. I am really sorry that you are suffering this much. If you want to elaborate on your trapped situation we would be pleased to listen to you.
I know self-hatred. It is very difficult to treat yourself in a postitive way. We are always way too hard on ourselves. You are a great person. I admire your strength to help other people in this forum. But if you cannot help yourself this is indeed a tragedy. I know this myself too. I try to help other people but there is this constant reminder in my mind that there is no solution for me. It is often a very desperate feeling. I feel powerless to change my situation. Maybe you know that feeling.
 
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edu0z

edu0z

carried away by a moonlight shadow
Aug 25, 2021
552
If my mind is a wreck so be it. If my body is trash so be it. I don't have any strength left to try, analyze, figure, push and fight. I'm done trying to work every which way out of life's biggest and cruelest issues. I'm just going to flow with an honest heart in hand and see where I land. If I hate myself, I hate myself. I'm done trying to fix my entire psyche. If my body betrays me then it betrays me. I'll observe that biology play out. My only pledge from this day forward is to be true to myself. That one pledge will take enough of me. I can't dedicate energy to any other pursuit.

There is no solution in trying for me. I'll let you know how it goes.
You've been doing well, I'm proud of you and you should be too.... now you are too stressed by what I see. Don't worry, take some time, relax... then think things well and you will find something but... everything is going to be fine, you deserve a break for now.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
"There's a time to gather stones, and a time to scatter them, a time to search and a time to give up, a time for embracing, and a time to refrain from embracing".
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Relax, think things well. Weight all that is bothering you and making you more stressed. Think about all the options. A big hug.
 
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